The 3 FBI agents
Posted by punkr0ckpapa@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 34 comments
There were 3 recruits that were on their way up the ranks after joining the FBI for top ranking officers. There was one final test for them to do before they were chosen to officially join the top ranks and if they fail they will not be chosen for the prestigious position. So there were 3 doors and the commander administrator explains what each of them needs to do. He says " behind the door with your name on it is each one of your wives and for the final test you must go in that room there will be a gun sitting on the table and you need to kill your wife" There is an awkward silence for a few minutes before The First Guy goes in the room with his name on it a few minutes later he comes bursting out of there crying "I can't do it I just can't do it" he hands the gun to the commander and walks away. The second guy goes into the room with his name on it and he's in there for a little bit longer he calmly comes out of the room hands the commander his gun and says "nope can't do it" so the Third guy goes in the room with his name on it and he's in there for quite a while and then all of a sudden everyone outside the door hears " blam" blam "blam "blam" blam "click" click" click" click" and "then they hear what sounds like a struggle and a few minutes later though FBI just comes out and says God damn it somebody put blanks in this gun so I had to take off my jacket and strangle the bitch
gethereddout@reddit
More misogyny than funny
Difficult_Valuable_4@reddit
If it was about 3 female agents and their husbands, would it be misandry then? Or a joke, like you?
gethereddout@reddit
Would the joke still work? And if the answer is no- do you see the issue? (Note that a guy gunned down his wife and all her children yesterday in LA)
Difficult_Valuable_4@reddit
The answer is yes. What does a guy shooting his wife have to do with a joke? Is nobody allowed to joke just because shit happens in the world?
Gil-Gandel@reddit
If it helps you, there is a version where the third applicant is a woman, and there's some postscript about badass women. I expect that one's funnier.
Independent_Bite4682@reddit
Old joke
Failed spacing a wall of text is terrible
nonuple_espresso@reddit
You need a period in your second point. Two of them, actually.
Independent_Bite4682@reddit
Me don't have periods
nonuple_espresso@reddit
Dorks who talk about womens' periods are usually involuntarily celibate.
So, if you're going to criticize someone's poor formatting or structure, then use some goddamned punctuation like a big boy, dum dum.
Socal_Cobra@reddit
Wow, didn't know this was an grammatical course.
QueenLevine@reddit
You must be brand new. When people retell old jokes VERY poorly, as is the case here, nobody laughs in jail and nobody applauds on Reddit. Goes like this:
A new prisoner is sent to his cell for his first night. As soon as the lights go out, someone from across the block shouts, "22!" The entire cell block erupts into hysterical laughter. A few minutes later, another voice shouts, "41!" Again, the entire block breaks out in uproarious, long-lasting laughter.
Confused, the new prisoner asks his cellmate, "What is going on?" His cellmate explains, "We've been in this prison for so long, we all know the same jokes by heart. So, instead of telling them, we just assigned them numbers to save time." Eager to fit in, the new prisoner says, "Can I try?" "Sure," says his cellmate. "Go ahead."
The new prisoner yells out: "18!" Dead silence. Not a snicker, not a chuckle. Confused, the new prisoner asks his cellmate, "What went wrong?" His cellmate shakes his head and replies, "Some people just don't know how to tell a joke."
Chillie43@reddit
It may be an old joke but some people (like myself) will be seeing it for the first time. As long as it’s not posted too often, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
The wall of text, on the other hand, is unforgivable, immediate death penalty
toru_okada_4ever@reddit
Yep. I have read this joke a fair number of times, and this is by far the worst retelling.
danger_zone123@reddit
Also works better if CIA rather than FBI.
navaiIable@reddit
I think in these situations we should call on reddit to come up with a new twist on the old joke
punkr0ckpapa@reddit (OP)
cusco@reddit
Hey. I agree spacing/line breaks would make it easier to read.
punkr0ckpapa@reddit (OP)
I'm just an asshole that likes to tell jokes I used to be a grammar Nazi but I realized it's better to choose my battles but I will remember that next time!
shaboogawa@reddit
There’s a difference between spelling your/you’re wrong and writing in a block of text. Yours is actually difficult to read. I couldn’t care less about spelling if I know what the writer is conveying.
jimbobsqrpants@reddit
Technically this isn't a grammatical issue
It is a formatting one
toru_okada_4ever@reddit
It is also an issue of having heard the joke semi-drunk at a party, told by someone who half-remember it, and then attempting to write it down on your phone, wearing mittens, while standing in a crowded tram during a bumpy ride.
bowen7477@reddit
New to reddit, huh?
Old_Fart_on_pogie@reddit
FBI, CIA Marines, MI5, the Green Berets, Mossad, KGB … i’ve heard this joke told for just about every government TLA that is out there.
SpaceBug176@reddit
Someone make a SCP version. Bet the 05 would be the kind of people to do this.
Or maybe Chaos.
Broadsword96@reddit
I love me a 5 sentence joke
CreepyOldGuy63@reddit
It would be believable if it were a kid or dog. Wait! That would be the actual test.
Volvulus@reddit
Wasn’t this a test in the first Kingsmen movie?
dadudeodoom@reddit
I was expecting the wife to shoot the 3rd and come out and get the position. This was rather disappointing instead
punkr0ckpapa@reddit (OP)
Well then my joke precisely did the job that it was supposed to because you're expecting one thing and something else entirely besides why would the wife come out and get the position she's not the one that was in the FBI
dadudeodoom@reddit
No but she'd be the one that qualified with the final test.
solakv@reddit
That’s because this is just good old #573.
nonuple_espresso@reddit
Paragraphs dude, goddamn.
checker280@reddit
True story: Gentleman Thief Apollo Robbins is a pick pocket that occasionally does the lecture circuit with demonstrations. The guy is brilliant.
The set up reminded me of this anecdote
He once performed for Pres Jimmy Carter. Before the show the Secret Service pulled him aside and gave him the rules about being around the President.
“Not bad for a former shoplifter who once robbed Jimmy Carter’s Secret Service bodyguards while entertaining the ex-president at Caesar’s Palace - all in good fun, at least for Apollo.
“I took the credentials that they had in their inside jacket pocket, their personal credentials, the keys to the motorcade,” the legendary magician said. “And the itinerary where they were taking Carter to, and some watches and things.”
Luckily, Robbins kept his hands off their weapons and was invited around for a friendly chat back in 2000: “I was asked to speak to the Secret Service, then some neuroscientists heard about it and asked, ‘Do you have some theories about why you were able to do that?... And can we test that in a lab?’”
https://spyscape.com/article/apollo-robbins-the-pickpocket-who-trains-spies#:~:text=Apollo%20Robbins:%20The%20Pickpocket%20Who,%E2%80%8D
bussinbeats@reddit
You’re in