This one is a true story. O. Henry, the great short story writer, was dying in a hospital in 1910.

Posted by PrinceFlynn@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 48 comments

Back then they didn't have modern medical equipment and the people gathered around his bed didn't know if he was asleep or dead.

Someone said, "Feel his feet. No one ever died with warm feet."

O. Henry opened his eyes and said, "Joan of Arc did." Then immediately died. Those were his last words.

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Nathan-Stubblefield@reddit

It was the 1904 death of Dr. Samuel Upham, theologian, and the burned Federico was Jan Huss.

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mwb1100@reddit

And I assume that O. Henry died with warm feet too. It just took a few minutes for them to cool off.

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flt1@reddit

He died of diabetes so his feet might have been out of circulation for a long while

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mwb1100@reddit

Hmm... well if that's the case, then not having warm feet would have told the gathering nothing.

Regardless, I hope that I can come up with something even half as clever on my deathbed. But given my history, it'll come a few minutes too late.

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flt1@reddit

If you actually come up w/ something few minutes later to say, that will be comeback of the century, or likely of all time

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Independent_DL@reddit

Perhaps you would be interested in my app…reddeadit.

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PrinceFlynn@reddit (OP)

Diabetes, liver cirrhosis, and a few other things. He drank a lot. He was only 47.

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Ishpeming_Native@reddit

For those unaware, Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.

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Successful_Equal_136@reddit

Actor Edmund Gwenn was on his death bed and a friend, Director George Seaton said, "This must byedifficult for you."
Gwenn replied, "Not nearly as difficult as playing comedy."

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boojiec@reddit

Did you mean Edmund Gwynne - Santa from Miracle on 34th Street "?

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WikiWantsYourPics@reddit

Why do you need to preface totally made-up crap with "This is a true story"? It doesn't make it funnier.

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Arizona_Sailor@reddit

There is no need to preface totally made-up crap with, “this is a fake story.” It does make it funnier.

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yIdontunderstand@reddit

I think it was Primo Levy, the famous jewish boxer who collapsed on the beach of the hotel he was at in Brazil...

Someone shouted "Quick, someone call the house Doctor!"

And he replied, " No! The people doctor!"

Then died.

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aravose@reddit

Primo Levi wasn't a boxer, he was a chemist and writer. And he didn't die like that and not in Brazil. I'm not sure you you are thinking of...

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yIdontunderstand@reddit

Yeah sorry my brain doesn't work very well.. I checked again and it was Max Baer

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My friend's mom was in hospital on her way out. The lady was a 'say what's on her mind' type of person. When she lost consciousness, the family was called to be with her before she passed. They began their 'standing shifts' on a Thursday morning. The hospital staff said "It could be any minute now."

They stayed with her around the clock the rest of Thursday, all day Friday, all day Saturday, all day Sunday and through to Monday afternoon when she woke up. She raised her head and looked around the room. She expressed her disbelief that she was still alive by saying "Oh F word, I'm still here" only she used all the letters in the F word.

She laid back in bed. She passed on Tuesday morning. She was 86. She had spunk until the day she died!

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Walton_guy@reddit

Interesting word choice, you're clearly not from the UK 🤣

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LW-M@reddit

Eastern Canada.

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Walton_guy@reddit

Yup, we use "spunk" rather differently on this side of the pond....🫣

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alargepowderedwater@reddit

Spunk and fanny are my favorite divergent meanings between US and UK slang. In the US, “The Adventures of Fanny and Spunky” is a children’s book about a girl and her energetic dog; in the UK, that would be a porn series 😂

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robsea69@reddit

Wow. She was ready to check out.

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Emotional-Profit-202@reddit

I think proper “f” get people through life.

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justtobecontrary@reddit

Thank you for not spelling his name O'Henry.

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SnooPets752@reddit

She was burned at the stakes right?

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Abdul_Exhaust@reddit

No, her cook burned the steaks. Then Joan was burned at the stake.

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HammerOfJustice@reddit

She was burned with the steaks.

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SfcHayes1973@reddit

Correct

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Iron_Nightingale@reddit

Roald Dahl was in hospital, attended by his family and friends. He intended his last words to be, “It’s just that I will miss you all so much.” The nurse then administered a shot of morphine, at which he spoke his actual final words: “Ow, fuck!”

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alex206@reddit

He was also a fighter pilot in WW2. He was against his books becoming movies and I think most of them are movies now...but I know there's no way Esio Trot would ever be approved as a film in this day and age.

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Iron_Nightingale@reddit

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3205394/

Starring Dustin Hoffman and Dame Judi Dench, 2015.

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alex206@reddit

That's awesome. Thanks.

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Cold_Table8497@reddit

Whoa, steady there champ.

"Starring James Corden."

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CertainlyNotDen@reddit

“Either that wallpaper goes or I do.” —Oscar Wilde, who then died

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Electrical_Tomato_73@reddit

Nice but probably untrue. It's commonly said that his last words were "Turn up the lights, I'm afraid to go home in the dark" Eg https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2000-mar-08-me-6674-story.html

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karma_the_sequel@reddit

Agreed.

O. Henry died a poor man on June 5, 1910. Alcoholism and ill health are believed to have been factors in his death. The cause of his death is listed as cirrhosis of the liver.

Funeral services were held at a church in New York City, and he was buried in Asheville. His last words are said to have been: "Turn up the lights —I don't want to go home in the dark."

https://www.thoughtco.com/biography-of-ralph-waldo-emerson-4776020

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zinsser@reddit

My wife’s uncle Fred (86) had an operable brain tumor. During the surgery something went south and the doctor told us he would never wake up. We decided to remove his life support to let him pass. After several minutes with him breathing normally, the nurse asked if he was physically active. “Oh yeah, he rode his stationary bicycle an hour every morning,” his son said. The nurse said the process might take a while. His creepy neighbor lady kept reaching under the blanket, certain she would be able to detect when death was imminent by the temperature of his legs. It took several hours and got really creepy with this old woman reaching progressively higher on his leg and calling out her findings. The nurse finally told her to stop and just watch the monitor.

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