A woman was getting her hair done at the salon for a trip to Rome with her husband.

Posted by Appropriate_Split600@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 59 comments

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late. So where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the Teste hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

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AdChoice5251@reddit

This is incorrect. “It is” = it’s. Its = possessive of “it”.

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ensiform@reddit

You’re right, but the person you replied to didn’t say anything incorrect

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AdChoice5251@reddit

The person I replied to said “if you’re saying ‘yes it is’ you cannot abbreviate ‘it is’ to ‘it’s’,” which is what I was saying is incorrect. You absolutely can make that abbreviation and it’s ;) correct English.

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Sushi_Explosions@reddit

Read the actual context before you say anything else silly.

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ensiform@reddit

He meant at the end of a sentence. I felt this was clear from the context.

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Infinite_Map2597@reddit

“It’s” is the possessive of “it” but you aren’t supposed to end a sentence with a contracted verb when there’s nothing going with it because it doesn’t really form a full sentence. “It’s” would be both the subject and the verb but the contraction can’t stand alone.

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Kailynna@reddit

No. Its is the possessive form of "it". His, hers, its - none of them need an apostrophe.

It's is the contraction of: "it is," You are, of course, correct that it's never okay to end a sentence with it's.

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w8str3l@reddit

You might think it’s not correct, but in fact it’s.

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No32@reddit

I don’t think they’re saying the issue is that it’s possessive

I think they’re just saying you can’t end the sentence with “it’s” as in “it is”

Not sure if that’s technically a rule but using it like that certainly FEELS wrong

Entropy_Interstellar@reddit

That was savage

im2high4thisritenow@reddit

Good one! I'm laughing

whoisjohngalt12@reddit

Ouch. That was brutal :))

Appropriate_Split600@reddit (OP)

Haha yes it’s

blither86@reddit

Small correction to try and be helpful as I assume English may not be your first language. If you're saying 'yes it is' you cannot abbreviate 'it is' to 'it's'

Example when you fan use it: "yes! Oh it's just the best"

medusagardens@reddit

Auto correct may have been what it’s

MuzikPhreak@reddit

Don’t worry about it. It's what it’s

leftcoast-usa@reddit

Yeah, it's what it's.

Column_A_Column_B@reddit

Interestingly though, "Yes, 'twas." is perfectly fine while "Yes, it's." is never used.

Feisty-Hand-4312@reddit

They use ‘tis

catgotcha@reddit

Is there a term like mansplaining for this kind of comment?

pataelmo33@reddit

Redditsplaining? Red splaining?

Typical reddit post?

StarsBear75063@reddit

Pedantry Alert

Grammatically, “it’s” is just a contraction of “it is,” so you can technically do that, but it depends on the context.

“Yes, it is.” = “Yes, it’s.”

That’s perfectly valid in informal or conversational English.

However, in practice, people don’t usually say “Yes, it’s.” on its own. It can sound a bit clipped or incomplete because “it’s” often expects something to follow like “it’s true,” “it’s ready,” etc..

Affectionate_One_700@reddit

Please don't wear red tonight.

What exactly was the purpose of what you wrote here? You start off like you are correcting him, but then explain the same thing he did, just worse.

timsredditusername@reddit

The worse joke is always in the comments

Gotta admit, much higher number of grammar sticklers here than I expected for a “jokes” subreddit.

SpaceForceAwakens@reddit

I fucking love this because you can adapt it from a hairdresser to pretty much anything and use it to greasestain your friends. It's awesome. Thanks.

britsol99@reddit

Decent joke. You can see how old this joke is by the reference to Continental Airlines - merged with United in 2012.

danm67@reddit

United became more like Continental.

Fresh_Blackberry6446@reddit

Also by $5 million being enough to remodel a hotel into one of the finest in Rome.

WindWalkerRN@reddit

Good old #472

Weird_Fiches@reddit

They met with Pope Pius XI.

ChiefScout_2000@reddit

If it's that old, the Teste will need a new upgrade.

Waitsfornoone@reddit

There is a Testa Hotel 5 minutes form the Tiber. Good to know when you spruce it up (this joke has got to be at least 30 years old anyway).

Rgreen1202@reddit

I first saw it in a book published in the early 60's.

AutoModerator@reddit

/u/Rgreen1202 has unlocked an opportunity for education!

Abbreviated date-ranges like "’90s" are contractions, so the apostrophe goes before the numbers.

You can also completely omit the apostrophe if you want: "The 90s were a bit weird."

Numeric date-ranges like 1890s are treated like standard nouns, so they shouldn't include apostrophes.

To show possession, the apostrophe should go after the S: "That was the ’90s’ best invention."

The apostrophe should only precede the S if a specific year is being discussed: "It was 1990's hottest month."

TL;DR: When writing dates, apostrophes do not pluralize!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

BaitmasterG@reddit

Teste? Cool

Viking-Mutt@reddit

Nice! Old joke. Still very funny. Showed that darned hairdresser.🤣

AdDesigner5025@reddit

Heh, heh!

koos_die_doos@reddit

Yet she went back...

Demoniac_smile@reddit

If you got a haircut so bad it had the pope swearing, are you not going to tell them?

SpaceBug176@reddit

She had to tell them how terrible the cut was.

Moist_Rule9623@reddit

That was long but worth it

bebopbrain@reddit

Actually, I like this hairdresser, like how you tell actors to break a leg. Set expectations that can be exceeded.

Lilith_Christine@reddit

Bots are everywhere now days...

ImColdandImTired@reddit

My grandfather used to tell a variation of this joke. In his version, it was a guy discussing the trip with his barber. When he got to Rome, he was standing in the square in front of St. Peter’s Basilica while the Pope was making an appearance, and the Swiss Guard told him the Pope and pointed him out and wanted to meet him - because of all the people there, this guy had the worst haircut the Pope had ever seen.