My girlfriend asked to do a 69

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bookmarkjedi@reddit

While laying in bed, the chef of the Chinese restaurant nudged his wife, saying, "I wouldn't mind a little 69 right now."

His wife, who works as a server, turned her back, saying "If you think I'm gonna get out of bed at this time of night to make you moo goo gai pan, you're crazy."

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dexter-sinister@reddit

"69? How about we do a 68? You go down on me and I owe you one."

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Lmm66@reddit

71? It’s 69 with 2 fingers in her ass

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lLennui@reddit

Always wondered why this is an acceptable form of racism. Not being sarcastic, genuinely curious

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LuminalGrunt2@reddit

10 minute 10 minute... that'll be $8.12 $8.12...

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I hadn't heard of Barry Diamond until just now. It sounds like he's been around quite a long time. I heard this from by brother in the early 1980s, so this could well have originated from him - or maybe at least popularized by him?

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TheWouldBeMerchant@reddit

I saw him on TV when I was a kid, in the late 90s/early 00s. I remember thinking he was absolutely hilarious. Coming back to it now, it's not quite the same, but here is a clip of him performing that joke: https://youtu.be/7Z4KAfQsG_c?si=y0V9WyNalrGzzG5W&t=697

He's been doing stand-up since the 80s, so it is conceivably his joke, but I cannot find any solid evidence of that. Who knows - maybe he stole it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

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bookmarkjedi@reddit

Thanks. It's interesting that he only has 330 followers even though his YouTube channel is 12 years old and considering that I was able to find out about him through search and that he's been in a handful of sitcoms and such.

As for his humor, I see what you mean by it not being quite the same. The boundaries for humor have shrunk so that audiences get more offended, or at least more uncomfortable nowadays with jokes that were well within bounds in the old days. I'm Korean myself, and to be honest I don't mind jokes poking fun at Asians as long as I know the point is just to share a laugh, not to put down a race or ethnicity, etc. (Not to mention I just told this one). But nowadays with things so political and polarized and one slip of the mouth can land people in trouble.

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BreakfastPizzaStudio@reddit

Gimme somma dat succulent Chinese meal 🤤

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Glum-Ad7761@reddit

Alternate version: While laying in bed in the middle of the night, the owner of a Chinese restaurant wakes up his wife, who is laying next to him.

“Hey… number 69, lets do number 69”

His wife, still half asleep says “you crazy? Middle of the night and you want Beef and Broccoli???”

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Particular_Owl_2027@reddit

What do the Chinese call a 69..

Toocanchew

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lLennui@reddit

My brain is fried. I thought this was a 6 7 joke

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Dull-Personality5131@reddit (OP)

Istg people In the comments Were making 67 jokes and made my brain Fried

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DavidEagleRock@reddit

Anyone else into 31?

I stand behind you and look at your butt

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boethius61@reddit

Well great. You've ruined math. I'll never look at a 3 again without seeing a butt.

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Signal_Ad3720@reddit

67

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picnic_nicpic@reddit

Uu uu grisha grisha uuu uuu uuu uu

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RipSnorting@reddit

hehe

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Dull-Personality5131@reddit (OP)

No please 😭🙏

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Hanyabull@reddit

Six seeeeeeven

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Goldeneye0X1_@reddit

67

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Aggressive-Pen4277@reddit

My girl likes 88 better than 69. Cause then you get eight twice.

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Wonderboyjr@reddit

96 is where you turn around and fart on the back of each other's head.

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-gloomy-@reddit

I yes. The most elegant of erotic pleasures

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ThanklessTask@reddit

Follow through is, however, not.

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darkhero7007@reddit

Especially when the fart is a shart and then ya gotta shower.

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DresdenPI@reddit

This reads like the beginning to a very odd rap song

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deliverance73@reddit

Don’t yuck my yum.

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SteveIsTheDude@reddit

Truly only enjoyed by the classy people!

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Partyslayer@reddit

I just call that bedtime.

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Duneyman@reddit

A fart directly into the ear, that sounds hot.

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SnooCupcakes9855@reddit

Sounds like it could be a hair raising experience!

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Darth1Football@reddit

69 is now referred to as 138 since the cost o eating out has doubled

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Weshtonio@reddit

/r/theydidthemath/

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MaryLMarx@reddit

That one got me! I laughed so hard! 😆

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JohanPertama@reddit

God dammit. Another 6-7 joke

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freestuffrocker@reddit

Butchered the punch line

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DoFr56@reddit

Circumcised the punch line!!

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SuchCoolBrandon@reddit

Fwiw, I think it's passable. What would you change?

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healingstateofmind@reddit

My ex father in law tells the joke simpler. They’re husband and wife owners of a Chinese food restaurant and she says, “You want beef and broccoli NOW??”

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freestuffrocker@reddit

It's passable after he edited it.

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Dull-Personality5131@reddit (OP)

Not really all these "67" guys have butchered this joke But that is a joke in itself

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FFF_in_WY@reddit

Just out of curiosity, what is your first language?

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RancidYogurt@reddit

A 6.9 is a great sexual position spoiled by a period.

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helloyesnoyesnoyesno@reddit

edit: not my joke.

Yeah, obviously. This joke gets posted 69 times per week

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OutrageousRhubarb853@reddit

I do the 68 - it’s where I get a bj and promise to get her next time.

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Bfree888@reddit

The wife prefers 77. It’s 69 but she gets ate more

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DavidEagleRock@reddit

That 1's new to me

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jkpirat@reddit

I prefer 77 you get 8 more.

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posthuman04@reddit

Or a 71 which is a 69 with 2 fingers in the ass (thanks George Carlin)

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mister-ferguson@reddit

George Carlin put his fingers in your bum?

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b00c@reddit

Wait, that would be 73.

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Smrtihara@reddit

…whaat?

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Groundbreaking-Lock7@reddit

I think they meant 2 fingers up each others ass

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Namerunaunyaroo@reddit

I think the current punchline is “ I owe her one”

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spagels73@reddit

Make like a tree and getting our of here.

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Optimal-Ad7801@reddit

Make like a tree and leave

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OutrageousRhubarb853@reddit

I was going to go with that but then some smart arse comes back with “your wife has a Weiner”

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Opening_Cheesecake54@reddit

What is 69 + 69? Dinner for four

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FromBZH-French@reddit

J’espère que la vue vous plait ?

Le plafond mériterait un coup de peinture

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heterosexualvolcano1@reddit

i do the 34.5 - it's when i get a bj and do nothing

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Eaglearse@reddit

68.5 everybody knows what that means.

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Scubby_Dooks@reddit

I don't. Is it a blumpkin?

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PubesOnTheSoap@reddit

68 and I owe you 1

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musicwithbarb@reddit

For blind braille readers, we get to do 64 because those are the inverse of each other.

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TruthfulAJ@reddit

I feel that.

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ErraticDragon@reddit

Ha, nice!

It's not often you see braille jokes.

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Chim_Pansy@reddit

Amazing foresight to feel the joke out and see it through

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justanemptyvoice@reddit

Underrated response

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Valokoura@reddit

Quite hard to read text upside down then.

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apartment1i@reddit

Not your joke, not a joke.

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kaamchalau@reddit

Glad to see a 6 7 here too.

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EricUAE@reddit

lol take my upvote

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buhhole8@reddit

67

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GrandmasterJoke@reddit

The, "I'm off", cracked me up. Lol

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lokiandbutters@reddit

Nowhere did it say I'm off. Are you a bot?

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GrandmasterJoke@reddit

OP has amended the joke.

I am not a bot.

Bleep. Book. Bop.

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PlatasaurusOG@reddit

My wife asked if I wanted a 69 the other day. I said “How about a 68 and I owe you one?”

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360walkaway@reddit

"I have just celebrated my 70th birthday. It's not as good as 69 though... I guess I can say I'm 69 with one finger up my ass."

-- horribly paraphrased George Carlin bit

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danath34@reddit

It's better when Larry The Cable Guy tells it

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SerDuckOfPNW@reddit

Just read it in his voice

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bravissimo594@reddit

lie down

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Automatic-Tadpole314@reddit

Guy goes to a brothel but “Hurricane Gussie” is the only girl available. So in he goes, Gussie comes out of the bathroom and goes around him blowing deep breaths of warm air on him. She says those are the warm tropical breezes that come with the Hurricane. She then squats over him and pees all over him and says those are the warm rains that come with the Hurricane. Then she gets her boobs in his face and starts knocking them into his head and says those are coconuts falling from threes. He gets up and starts to leave and Gussie asks where he’s going, and he says home, who can fuck in weather like this.

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