A guy goes in for a physical; the doctor asks about his activity level. "What do you mean?" asks the guy.

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vantageviewpoint@reddit

You walk a long way golfing 18 without a cart.

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Average course plays at over 6,000 yards, which is ±3.5 miles. This is the straight line path down the fairway from tee box to hole. Realistically you're zigzagging down the fairway as you walk to your ball, and maybe backtracking and walking around to find a ball in the rough. An average walking round likely winds up being over 5 miles by the time you're done.

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fearsometidings@reddit

Seems very doable tbh. I wonder what golf was like before carts? Were the courses just smaller because of inferior clubs as well?

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Eccentrica_Gallumbit@reddit

It's absolutely do-able unless you're a couch potato. The 5 miles is spread out over a 3-5 hour period depending on how busy the course is. There's a lot of standing around and waiting on the group in front of you in many cases.

Were the courses just smaller because of inferior clubs as well?

To some extent, yes. The average course looks like it's increased ~0.5 miles in the past 130 years, so not that significant. Course design has changed more than length to take into account the longer driving distances of modern clubs.

People in general walk less now than they did in the 1800's and early 1900's. Before carts, the only option was to walk. Golf was also almost exclusively a rich white man's sport up until maybe 40-50 years ago.

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medium_green_enigma@reddit

"rich white man's sport"

And an opportunity for young men to earn money carrying good clubs around the course.

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AutoModerator@reddit

/u/Eccentrica_Gallumbit has unlocked an opportunity for education!

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medium_green_enigma@reddit

Good bot

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boganvegan@reddit

The interesting thing about language and grammar is that if enough people do it "wrong" then the "wrong" way becomes the "right" way.

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Crewsy67@reddit

Wrong is never the “right” way it just becomes the “accepted” way.

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riverjack_@reddit

By that logic we're all wrong, unless we're saying "Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum" like they did before the Norman conquest.

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Szriko@reddit

Your entire sentence is the wrong way. Every rule of grammar in english is the 'wrong' way if you go back.

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Sushi_Explosions@reddit

The fuck? No. That is not even remotely true.

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boganvegan@reddit

Language is constantly changing. In my lifetime a whole new dialect, "Estuary English", has emerged in the London area. New and "incorrect" usages constantly pop up and oftentimes they become accepted and even "correct." Did you know that the standard pronunciation of bird used to be brid? This particular type of language change is called metathesis, a more modern example is pronouncing "ask" like "axe".

Below is a link to an article about "incorrect" use of myself and yourself. 30 years ago the "incorrect" usages would have seemed clearly wrong. I can remember when I first heard people "misusing" -self it would bother me, it still does a little but when reading the article I realized I am no longer sure of what is correct or incorrect. The fact is that language is constantly changing and if people actually understand your meaning you are correct enough.

Correct Use of Myself, Yourself, Itself - ProofreadingPal https://share.google/RgB3PijVm6SMe0izA

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LetWest1171@reddit

I’d like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition…

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RussiaIsBestGreen@reddit

Unless you’re proposing that English was invented whole cloth and then unchanged for centuries, yes, it’s very true. The language is Germanic, but does not follow the same grammar as the other Germanic languages, implying that at some time there was a switch from correct grammar to incorrect, and that incorrect grammar eventually was settled on as correct English grammar. Spelling has changed dramatically over the centuries as well.

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MiserableOptimist1@reddit

It's not because English switched it's grammar from Germanic, it's because the language sprang from Nordic and Viking tongues. The Germanic/Saxon stuff came later.

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SirCharles-90210@reddit

Nope. It becomes right.

But I'm really happy because I no longer have Down's Syndrome.

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boganvegan@reddit

Correct. Good linguists (not Reddit amateurs like me) avoid descriptions like right and wrong and just refer to "accepted".

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absolute_Friday@reddit

But what about the Max Power way?

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Antique-Apricot-7895@reddit

No one asked.

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Eccentrica_Gallumbit@reddit

Shutup automod.

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Sparky3200@reddit

I do lawn irrigation service and walk 5-7 miles a day.

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Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit

Whenever my partner and I go for a long walk, he also does lawn irrigation service - but only because he has a weak bladder.

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Eccentrica_Gallumbit@reddit

I'm proud of you?

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FoundOnTheRoadDead@reddit

The course designers also take into account if the expectations are for cart use, and can spread the course out a lot - so there can be a lot of space between holes that can add a lot of distance to the walk.

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rlgjr3@reddit

Aka the good old days. (Only made this crass remark because my daughter now kicks my ass any time we play.

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EuropeanInTexas@reddit

Plenty of people don’t use carts when playing golf.

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Coyltonian@reddit

Grew up in the part of the world with prolly the highest density of golf courses anywhere. Within about ~15 miles there are nearly 3 dozen courses (including 3 world class ones that have hosted over 2 dozen majors between them) - and that is despite a huge chunk of that 15 mile radius being under the sea!

Growing up every one golfed. We even got golf lessons in primary school.

I was still over 30 and living on the other side of the country the first time I ever used a buggy (when I went out to play a round with my boss and his boss).

They are insanely fun to rocket about in, but there is zero “need” for them unless you are seriously unfit or infirm.

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kaskudoo@reddit

Used to golf all the time without cart…. Not in US, no carts

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rlgjr3@reddit

Used to caddy the Bethpage Black with two bags summers of ‘64 & ‘65

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1lard4all@reddit

I was a caddie when I was 12-16. You would walk a lot more than 5 or 5 miles if you were carrying two bags and had duffers who split the fairways all the time. Wore little old 115 pound me out.

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Labrattus@reddit

Courses designed to be walked vs using a cart have a more compact layout, even if the actual playable length is the same. So the distance from green to the next tee box will be short vs the longer distances that are pretty common on courses designed for carts.

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alleyoopoop@reddit

Augusta National (where the Masters is held) has increased by nearly 700 yards since 1940. Almost all of that occurred after 2000, when Tiger won his first Masters and made a joke of the par-5s.

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platopete@reddit

And pulling a trolley increase the intensity of the exercise

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IncreaseCertain9697@reddit

How much is that in real units?

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GrumpyOldCodger100@reddit

Twice a week I walk my local muni course. Every time, my step counter says I’ve logged 14,000 steps almost exactly - which is 7 miles, I believe. That’s up and down hills, pushing a cart. Exhausting (but satisfying) for us old guys.

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jflb96@reddit

Originally, the mile was 1000 paces, sure, but that was back in Roman times

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froction@reddit

...where each pace is two strides

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jflb96@reddit

Yes?

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lurker1957@reddit

I’ve used my fitness app to track my walking while I golfed a couple times. Unless the course is very compact with each tee very close to the prior green it’s at least 5 miles.

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bikedrivepaddlefly@reddit

True.

And there is often a long path between the green and the next tee box. Some stupid lengths between holes that justify a cart.

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deathkidney@reddit

I play a standard course - 6800 yards of the back tees. Most 18 holes my Garmin watch tells me I’ve walked about 7 miles. There are few walks from one green to the next tee, but not many. And I’m not a terrible golfer.

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SomebodyInNevada@reddit

Yup, doesn't matter that joke guy was playing golf, the activity is real.

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EngineersAnon@reddit

Which is why it was absolute bullshit when SCOTUS ruled that the PGA had to let a golfer who couldn't walk the course use a cart.

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RSGator@reddit

Why is the Americans with Disabilities Act “bullshit”?

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EngineersAnon@reddit

In principle, it is not. In this case, it is, because "perform this action seventyish times with a reasonable degree of precision" and "perform this action seventyish times over the course of a fivish mile brisk walk with a reasonable degree of precision" are not the same thing.

You wouldn't compare the shooting of an Olympic-level winter biathlete during the biathlon with the shooting of another who was just sitting at the range between strings of shots, would you?

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RSGator@reddit

You wouldn't compare the shooting of an Olympic-level winter biathlete during the biathlon with the shooting of another who was just sitting at the range between strings of shots, would you?

Sure we can compare them, but the sitter would be DQ’ed for not doing the skiing part, which is essential to the biathlon.

Walking isn’t essential to golf, I play golf all the time with a cart.

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EngineersAnon@reddit

Walking isn’t essential to golf, I play golf all the time with a cart.

Walking isn't essential to recreational golf, as a shot clock is not essential to recreational basketball. The PGA has as much right to declare it essential to golf in their league as the NBA has to require a shot clock in theirs.

A sports league has the right to determine which physical activities are and are not part of the sport as played in their league.

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PurdueJohn@reddit

I agree about organizations being able to set their own rules, but walking is not essential to golf. Most state organizations allow carts in their tournaments. Senior PGA allows carts, as do many other pro organizations. Handicaps don’t judge whether you are walking or riding. It matters not.

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EngineersAnon@reddit

It isn't essential to golf. It is up to any league to determine whether it is essential to their competition. Just like the shot clock in basketball.

And if the PGA has a division which does allow carts, then, IMO, that only strengthens their stance in saying that the top-tier tour doesn't.

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PurdueJohn@reddit

Like I said, I agree they should be able to make their own rules. The shot clock is a good example. Walking still isn't integral to "real golf". The reasons that the PGA keep walking as a standard are more for logistics and aesthetics. It looks better, and fans can walk along with their favorite players (kinda). I walked when I played in college, and rode most of the tournaments after. It's the shot-making that matters, not your mode of travel between shots.

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froction@reddit

Because it (obviously?) should not be applied to sports.

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froction@reddit

It is absolute bullshit that any court be even asked to interpret a set of arbitrary and made-up rules in opposition to the organization that is the creator and maintainer of that exact set of arbitrary and made-up rules. That is like a court ruling that JK Rowling is wrong about Harry Potter's favorite color.

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monopulse@reddit

My dad played 3-4 times a week and always walked. As he got older he bought a robot cart that carried his bag. Had a remote on his belt. It just followed him until he told it not to. Took to the course on a trailer towed behind his Jaguar. He was in great shape for his age. Skin cancer got him.

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Mattbl@reddit

I hit my 10k step mark easily playing golf with a cart, even. You still walk around the tee and green, and depending on the course you might still park the cart a ways from the green. Even with a cart, it's exercise.

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BeligaPadela@reddit

A little Birdie tells me it's really Rough if you can't Drive Fore shit..

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Wowza-yowza@reddit

You shut Putt around the course in a cart

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reddit10x@reddit

Like Tiger would?

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2whatextent@reddit

Isn't it ironic that arguably the greatest golfer of all time can't drive for shit.

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istasber@reddit

An eagle-eyed redditor will notice this is teed up for a pun thread, which is par for the course here.

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SidratFlush@reddit

You can't drink beers to re-hydrate. That's going to make you feel worse. Get some water in first then enjoy the beers.

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

Beer along with just about every other beverage you dump down your gullet, is >90% water. It will absolutely hydrate you. The diuretic effect is not enough to offset the water in the beer.

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SomebodyInNevada@reddit

It's not just the diuretic effect, but digestion and disposing of unwanted stuff in urine also costs water. While I don't think beer is net negative it's quite possible to have liquids that are net negative water. And why if you are in a survival situation where water is a factor, don't eat.

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Finwolven@reddit

You certainly can drink beer to rehydrate. Yes, you will feel bad eventually because alcohol is a poison, but that has nothing to do with your hydration level.

Our bodies are incredibly efficient at utilizing water, no matter what we have mixed into it. For instance, coffee will hydrate you, even though caffeine is a diuretic. The effect of caffeine is far less than the effect of liquid intake of the coffee that contains it.

And if you're drinking american beers, it's like canoe sex anyway, you will end up more hydrated than drunk.

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apartment1i@reddit

No, what happens is your body bypasses most of the process of reabsorbing water from your blood as it's being filtered, and it is sent at a much higher rate to your bladder, meaning your system becomes dehydrated rather than hydrated.

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Finwolven@reddit

I can't tell if you're trying to be sarcastic because what you wrote is so absurd, but while it's true some _more_ of it gets to your bladder faster (not unfiltered, beer piss isn't beer, even though piss beer is), not all of it is. It's not an 'on-off' process.

Drinking a gallon of beer is less hydrating than drinking a gallon of water, but either way you'll still end up both pissing a lot _and_ bloated from fluids.

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apartment1i@reddit

Absurd, maybe, but that's how the body works. Look it up if you're interested.

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centstwo@reddit

I think you're talking about Budweiser's "Drinkability" feature.

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123twiglets@reddit

it's like canoe sex

I've never heard this does this just mean full of water lol

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Live-Wrap-4592@reddit

Fucking close to water. Forgive me mods

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123twiglets@reddit

Brilliant, stealing that one

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

Monty Python's Eric Idle, if you want proper attribution

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SidratFlush@reddit

Yeah, a beer or 3 American beers, isn't going to do harm.

Who though would drink just the one normal non-US beer?

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KaraAliasRaidra@reddit

Same with caffeinated drinks. They’ll dry you out if you’re not careful, so you need water too.

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tinymeow13@reddit

This is a myth, the diuretic effect of caffeinated beverages is not enough to be net negative fluid intake.

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KaraAliasRaidra@reddit

Today I learned

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jdmillar86@reddit

I figured it out by not turning to dust and blowing away in the wind for the last couple decades

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

Right? I drink almost nothing but iced tea and coffee. I'd be a mummy if caffeine outdid hydration.

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KaraAliasRaidra@reddit

X-D

Actual footage of someone who isn't jdmillar86: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIY89wmiUqk

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harryregician@reddit

This is posted under "joke"

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SidratFlush@reddit

So we're my comments. Like the real joke is in the comments saying on this sub.

I'm sorry if I didn't hit the mark on this occasion.

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CeruLucifus@reddit

I think that was part of the joke?

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SidratFlush@reddit

Yes, the bad advice part, lol

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just-4-lafs@reddit

Never understood why anyone would put odd looking clothes on and try to hit their balls with a club. Sounds painful to me!!

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AdKey5631@reddit

True story: I was an 18 year old kid working at a golf course snack bar between the 9th and 18th holes. Players would stop there for beers, sodas, and hot dogs. If I wasn’t too busy I’d ask how their game was going. One day a big older guy walks up and asks for a beer. I asked him how his game was going and he replies: “It’s a lot like masturbating.” I guess I froze. I had no idea where this was going. I just looked at him. He quickly said, “It’s a lot of fun, but you don’t particularly want your friends watching.”

This is probably an old joke now but he got me good. At the time I didn’t know if he was hitting on me or what the hell was happening. Ha!

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External-Analysis-31@reddit

I heard a version that went “you feel miserable afterwards but you know you’ll do it again.”

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

Who feels miserable after masturbating?

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SeanAker@reddit

Depends on how hard post-nut clarity hits.

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BioletVeauregarde33@reddit

Beer won't make you hydrated.

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

Beer is over 90% water. Of course it will.

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IsItSupposedToDoThat@reddit

Depends on the beer. Light beer might not have an impact but full strength beer is a diuretic, pulling water from your body. That’s why you piss like a horse when you’re on the piss.

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50_MHz@reddit

I just love it when people explain a joke. The fact that it couldn't be 7 miles just ruins the humor for me.

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Spadizzly@reddit

Obviously you're not a bowler.

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Brrringsaythealiens@reddit

Hey at least they’re housebroken.

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Soft_Chipmunk_8051@reddit

You just don't understand how shitty his game is.

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maton12@reddit

Fore

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AdigaCreek25@reddit

Exactly why I put my clubs away. I was constantly playing with myself in the woods

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Ajayv22@reddit

A guy gets in a wreck and messes up his hands. Dr fixes them up. Guy asks the Dr “will I be able to play the piano?” Dr says “Sure!” Guys says “GREAT! I couldn’t play before”

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fewchaw@reddit

Simpsons did it: https://youtu.be/sMRcIOjdojU?si=UwpkpNezhVI92wyG

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TheRealRockyRococo@reddit

I broke my right pinky pretty badly when I was in my 20s. The young orthopedic surgeon was very serious, he was giving me all kinds of exercises to do to increase my flexibility. I asked him if I would be able to play the piano when the cast came off. He launched into a long spiel about how playing the piano was very difficult and required strength and flexibility, but he would give specific instructions and that if I followed them yes, I would be able to play the piano. I said great, I can't play it now. He got livid and said look I don't have time for your dumb jokes and stormed out of the room. I consider that a great success.

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SouthernZorro@reddit

Another guy goes to the doctor and tells him his penis has turned orange. The doc takes a look at it and sure enough - it's bright orange. The doc scratches his head for a minute and then asks. "Well, do you handle any chemicals at work?"

Guy says, "No and I've been laid off for a month anyway".

Doc asks, "So what do you do with your spare time?"

Guy says, "Watch porn and eat Cheetos".

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litterboxhero@reddit

If you want to turn your daddy parts orange, eat some Cheetos and watch some porn.

--Paul and Storm

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Anecdotally speaking, I know it is not 0, and I know it is not 8.

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