My son’s letter from prison
Posted by Wayne-De-Payne@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 29 comments
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison.
“This year I won’t be able to plant potatoes because I can’t dig the field. I know if you were here you would help me”
The son wrote back, “Dad don’t even think of digging the field because that’s where I buried the money I stole”
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug up by the police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again, “Now plant your potatoes Dad, it’s the best I can do from here.
Old_Fart_on_pogie@reddit
116
ro6in@reddit
As this joke really is already quite old, I am curious. Which joke is #1 in that list of time-honoured jokes?
Old_Fart_on_pogie@reddit
Joke ##1 dating back to 1900 (BCE).
“Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."
Clothes_Chair_Ghost@reddit
Joke # 1 is “why did the chicken cross the road?”
FreedomOfSqueek@reddit
"...cross the game trail?" was the original, I think
Improvedandconfused@reddit
The most genius thing about the son’s plan was that he was actually in prison for a few minor driving offenses.
Cultural-Company282@reddit
In prison for minor driving offenses? Hey now, there's no reason to turn this into a racial joke.
sexy-geek@reddit
Hey hey, that wasn't a racial joke, that was a pedophilia joke. He said minor driving offenses...
bluemaga4ever@reddit
UUMV
sexy-geek@reddit
Bless you.
bluemaga4ever@reddit
Weird niche joke. Some guys who go to jail for kiddie stuff try to say it's for something else, and a common one for some reason is Unauthorized Use of a Motor Vehicle. (UUMV) To the degree that sometimes that acronym gets used to subtly hint at the other thing. Usually jokingly translated as Unauthorized Use of a Minor's Vagina.
sexy-geek@reddit
oh, I see now. Yeah. Makes sense. Thanks.
Cultural-Company282@reddit
If the driving offense involved rear ending a minor, it could be both.
CarlJustCarl@reddit
Busted for marijuana in a red state
DaFoxtrot86@reddit
Oh this is an old one my grandpa used to tell. Only in his version, the son said that was where he hid all the bodies.
joseph4th@reddit
When I heard it, there was something more nefarious about why the sun was in jail, and his response was something along the lines of whatever you do don’t dig in the such and such field
Emsweego@reddit
And it was a tomato garden plot
Dunge0nMast0r@reddit
They were simpler times...
pm_me_flaccid_cocks@reddit
Oh! I tell a version just like this, but it ends with all the prison guards gang-fucking me in every one of my existing orifices, while creating a few new ones.
BioletVeauregarde33@reddit
A few days after a young man went to college, he wrote this letter to his mother:
Dear Mom,
$chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on $amuel
His mother wrote back:
Dear Samuel,
I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, your mom
juadog@reddit
Good one.
sparkingsocket@reddit
An oldie but a favorite of mine
Tigweg@reddit
There's an Aesops Fable that tells a very similar tale
Topsytopsytopsy@reddit
Seventy-plus years ago, it was where the guns were buried. Still works!
vonnostrum2022@reddit
Good one
marcel_in_ca@reddit
I originally heard this as an Irish father/son, and it was the buried IRA guns
DepartmentOfJustAss@reddit
Then the cops sprinkled crack on the field, and arrested the dad.
"It's an open and shut case, Johnson."
RansomStark78@reddit
New gen
Disastrous-Bee3260@reddit
I like this joke, because it’s the wrong thing for the right reason :)