A midget is walking along a path when a beautiful blonde comes walking by in the other direction.
Posted by Jokeminder42@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 69 comments
He says, "Hey beautiful, what do you say to a little fuck?"
And she says, "Hello, you little fuck."
kensolee@reddit
Midget fortune teller got jailed for running scams but broke out of prison.
Next day the headlines read - Small Medium at Large
MyOtherCarIsAHippo@reddit
Classic.
punkfunkymonkey@reddit
A midget goes into a brothel. None of the women in the reception are that keen on taking him on, but eventually one takes him up to a room. Very soon after a scream is heard and all the women run upstairs to find out what just happened.
When they get into the room, they find their coleague passed out and the naked midget stood their with a hard on that reaches above his head.
The women all stand there looking at it in awe. One of them eventually asks, "Is it OK if I touch it?"
The midget replies, 'Touch it? Sure, but no sucking, I used to be six foot tall!'
SeMoMu@reddit
A midget goes into a brothel. None of the women in the reception are that keen on taking him on, but eventually one takes him up to a room. Very soon after a scream is heard and all the women run upstairs to find out what just happened.
When they get into the room, they find their coleague passed out and the naked midget stood their with a hardon that reaches above his head.
The women all stand their looking at it in awe. One of them eventually asks, "Is it OK if I touch it?"
The midget replies, 'Touch it? Sure, but no sucking, I used to be six foot tall!'
Waitsfornoone@reddit
I went to a restaurant run by midgets and the service was terrible.
In their defense, they're short staffed.
Fartyfivedegrees@reddit
Fair go! They struggle to put food on their table.
BreakOpen@reddit
I’ve had it down to here with dwarves.
sexy-geek@reddit
God I laughed really hard at this one...
Radiance37k@reddit
Well, it went over their heads though...
sexy-geek@reddit
Damn, it can get worse!!!! 😂😂😂
ManualNotStandard@reddit
You really gotta hand it to short people
jayjaco78@reddit
Because they can’t reach…
Unique_Connection945@reddit
Correct
Bike-Different@reddit
And none of them were Happy.
Caecus_Umbra@reddit
Well, statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.
digitalphunk@reddit
What is snow whites favourite drink?
7up
TheDevilsAdvokaat@reddit
But some of them were Grumpy and Dopey.
bsmknight@reddit
Being a little short staffed is better than being half staffed.
hairy_quadruped@reddit
What’s the difference between a dwarf and a midget? Very little.
XarmtheinsaneX@reddit
Yeah dwarfism really is a growing problem.
roughczech@reddit
Much better. The original fell short
Nopain59@reddit
It dwarfed the original.
yIdontunderstand@reddit
Bro, midgets have got a terrible sense of humour.. Most jokes go over their heads...
jsenthesuperhero@reddit
While others are just out of their reach
MSB218@reddit
I tried to think of a clever reply to this joke, but I’m stumped.
Meranio@reddit
They gotta be the bigger man, forgive the jokester, and step up their game in the humour department.
dayma1@reddit
Elevator smell different to small people…
Beatless7@reddit
I have a serious midget fetish.
bcwagne@reddit
You don't like light hearted ones?
birdbrainedphoenix@reddit
Doesn't sound like a big problem
P155ingInTheWind@reddit
How could you stoop so low !
StarsBear75063@reddit
Midget gets on an elevator and there is already a beautiful woman in the cab. Midget asks, "Can I smell your puss"? She snaps back, "Certainly not!!" "Oh", remarked the little guy, "must be your feet then".
dsa157@reddit
The other day I was driving by a prison and I saw a midget climbing down a rope ladder to escape. As I passed him, he sneered at me and I thought 'that's a little condescending.'
maciarc@reddit
It turns out he's psychic. So now there's a small medium at large.
dsa157@reddit
The cops were about to capture the psychic, but before they did, he spontaneously combusted! No one knew what to say, because it's rare to see a medium well-done
elmersfav22@reddit
Why do dwarves laugh when running in the meadows??
The grass tickles their balls
puffypoodle@reddit
We had a abnormally short student at my middle school a couple years ago who stopped by the bus stop one day if he could borrow a dollar. I asked him why? He said he was a little short today…. Honest to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, this really happened two years ago.
One_Disaster_5995@reddit
I hope you didn't laugh. They can be very short tempered.
richmondhill712@reddit
Obviously. Their threshold for "I've had it up to her" is much lower.
Threefrogtreefrog@reddit
“Call me an elf one more time !!”
posophist@reddit
Sounds like he’ll become a small businessman.
BankshotMcG@reddit
Supposedly Harlan Ellison told Sofia Loren "I'd really love to fuck you " and she replied, "And if you do, and I find out..."
Epstiendidntkillself@reddit
Two lawyers were walking down the street one day when a pretty girl walked by. One of the lawyers said "I'd sure like to fuck her" and the other lawyer said "out of what"?
PussyTermin4tor1337@reddit
It’s the priest and the rabbi looking at a little boy
Eikestep@reddit
What did the cop say when the midget reported that he had been pick pocketed? A: How could anyone stoop so low!
Syntak01@reddit
The term Midget is offensive to a small group of people.
CD_Synesthesia@reddit
SamTheViking@reddit
The joke works better the first way. Your way isn't funny.
discofunkbunny@reddit
Seven dwarves in a bath feeling happy, so happy got out.
eltedioso@reddit
Seven dwarves on a merry-go-round feeling happy. Happy got off.
Jaster_Rogue@reddit
That left them feeling Grumpy.
NevRaDull_Moment1969@reddit
So grumpy got out. But Dopey...Dooey stayed...
tonysnark81@reddit
A blonde goes to Human Resources to file a complaint against her coworker.
“What happened?”
“He said my hair smells wonderful,” she said tearfully.
“Why is that an issue? That’s a very nice compliment.”
“He’s a little person!”
InspectorMendel@reddit
I mean, it's a creepy thing to say regardless
Meranio@reddit
Oh, really?
Frequent_Cat10@reddit
Her name was Cuntswaylow
IrishFlukey@reddit
A low blow.
Its4MeitSnot4U@reddit
Or a short snort
Motor_Jump1703@reddit
You know why midgets are always smiling when they run?? Because the grass be tickling there balls.
sanilp@reddit
Is the autobiography of a midget a short story?
jessijuana@reddit
Heeeheheheh I love this
swgpotter@reddit
Dwarf shortage
balrob@reddit
Why’d the dwarf look up the queen’s dress? He wanted to see the royal opening.
Born_Promotion_4088@reddit
First laugh out loud of the day!
FunCommunication2604@reddit
Why do midgets laugh when they run through grass, because it tickles their balls
Viking-Mutt@reddit
That’s the best little person joke I’ve heard all day! Thanks OP.
Westworld-Kenny@reddit
Typical midget jokes, they always come up short.
unlcebuck@reddit
A lot of good, little jokes here.
XarmtheinsaneX@reddit
Yeah,dwarfism really is a growing problem.