Jim and Bob are golfing together on a Sunday morning...

Posted by ArmchairPancakeChef@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 45 comments

They're both on the green, which was near a County Highway.

As Jim lines up his putt, a funeral procession goes by on the Highway. Jim immediately stops, takes off his hat and bows his head.

Bob is impressed, "Wow, Jim. That's really a profound sign of respect. I'm impressed."

Jim answers, "Well, Bob. We were married for 41 years. It's the least I could do."

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BillWilberforce@reddit

I was reading that as Jim Moir aka Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer. Two great English comedians.

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robgod50@reddit

Never liked them in their show but Bob is a comedy genius. He was great on last one laughing

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BillWilberforce@reddit

Tomorrow I will kill again, this time in Donegal.

!Reddit mods and admins, this is a reference to Amazon's Last One Laughing (UK), series 1+2. Where Bob sang funny songs, in an attempt to get the other "housemates" to laugh before he did. I am not promoting violence, nor wanting to kill anybody.!<

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Omygodc@reddit

That was such a brilliant show. Diane Morgan’s joker had me rolling.

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BillWilberforce@reddit

https://www.cineby.sc/tv/262819/2/2?play=true

At 09:55

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pedalare@reddit

I think he premiered this song format on the athletico mince podcast. Very funny indeed

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sintonesque@reddit

He did the Jordan Henderson song on the most recent series

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colBoh@reddit

Well, Jim's right. It is the least he could do.

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ArmchairPancakeChef@reddit (OP)

And as the excellent Hawkeye Pierce used to say, "never let it be said I didn't do the least I could do."

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JHEverdene@reddit

Tom and Harry are golfing one day, and as they make their way across the green, the spot two women in the distance, sunbathing near the 9th hole.

"I'm not having this!", says Tom, and he angrily marches over to give the two women a stern talking to. But as he gets about halfway, he stops, turns around and hurries back.

"What's up?", asks Harry. "I thought you were going to send them packing".

An ashen-faced Tom replies: "I'm going nowhere near them: one is my wife, and the other is my mistress!"

"Oh Hell", Harry exclaims. "Right, you stay here, I'll go and get rid of them".

So Harry sets off across the green...

!He gets halfway there, stops, turns, hurries back and says to Tom:!<

!"It's a small world, isn't it?!"!<

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colBoh@reddit

Tom and Harry?

Do the wife and mistress have the last names Torres and Nine, respectively?

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JHEverdene@reddit

Haha! That would be a niche theme for a golfing joke.

But no, I just wanted two generic names, and decided to leave Dick out of this one...

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Leo_Looming@reddit

I'm a bit slow but it's it implied that Jim was still married to her at the time or is it possible that after 41 years they were divorced and she died as a widow and still unmarried?

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ArmchairPancakeChef@reddit (OP)

She died. And all he cared about was golfing. That theme is a running one in golf jokes.

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relayrider@reddit

i don't golf or even know any golfers.pretty much when i hear "golf" i vision in my brain DJT burying one of his wives in a golfcourse and than using her as a "tee"

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TheLaughingSage@reddit

He skipped his wife's funeral to go golfing. So still married.

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One day a man and his wife are golfing. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, doglegs right around an old barn. With a terrible slice the man puts the barn between his ball and the green. Knowing that the strokes that it will take to get around the barn will destroy his score, he begins to rant and rave. His wife hating to see him ruin such a great afternoon makes a suggestion.

"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."

He thinks this over and decides that it will work. With his wife holding open the barn door he lines up with the hole and gives the ball a terrific "Whack"! The ball shoots through the air and right into the head of his wife, killing her instantly.

Months go by, the man mourning all the while. His friends, hating to see him in such a state, convince him to go golfing with them. They end up at the same course and on the final hole, oddly enough, another terrible slice puts the old barn between his ball and the green. The man is about to punch his ball back to the fairway so he can have a clear shot at the green when his friend makes a suggestion. "What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."

The man replies, "No. I already tried that once and it ended up horribly."

"What happened?" his friend asked.

"I got a double bogey on this hole."

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bigredcar@reddit

One of my all-time favorite golf jokes. Well told.

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TerpBE@reddit

It would work better with the last two sentences switched.

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ArmchairPancakeChef@reddit (OP)

Put the punch line in before the setup is complete?

I don't think so.

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galt-john1984@reddit

He’s saying the punchline should be the last sentence. Well Bob, it’s the least I could do. We were married for 41 years.

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cyncity3132@reddit

I like it as is, truthfully

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ArmchairPancakeChef@reddit (OP)

It is the last sentence.

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tigerofblindjustice@reddit

Please define the word "sentence" for us real quick

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robgod50@reddit

There's literally 2 sentences at the end.

"We were married for 40 years".... That's the punchline.

"It's the least I could do"..... is not the punchline.

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ComputerGuyInNOLA@reddit

I have heard this joke before and it is always funny!

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ArmchairPancakeChef@reddit (OP)

There's nothing like a good golf joke.

Suitable for polite company!

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pjdueck@reddit

Oh, good ol’ #2874… got me again!

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no_shut_your_face@reddit

For a second I thought I was seeing n the Duggarsnark subreddit

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Imperial5cum@reddit

I am immensly cinfuzzeld as to where the Joke is in there ....

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BillWilberforce@reddit

Jim is stopping to pay respects to his wife whilst playing golf, instead of going to her funeral.

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ChiknDiner@reddit

My stupid ass thought, what does the fact that Jim and Bob married for 41 years have to do anything with the funeral amd Jim's respect and I couldn't find the joke there. Thanks.

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