My first original joke. Not a retelling.

Posted by The_Real_Mongoose@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 42 comments

A traveling salesman in a rumpled charcoal suit, having just finished his last appointment of the day, suddenly felt ravenous. Standing on a street corner in a city he didn’t know well, he pulled out his phone and searched for something nearby.

Just around the corner was a place with thousands of reviews. Every single one of them was five stars.

The name of the restaurant was simply:

WORLD’S BEST SANDWICH

He frowned at the screen. Under “Menu,” there was only one item listed:

World’s Best Sandwich

That alone would have made him curious, but the reviews were ecstatic, reverent even. “Transcendent.” “Life-changing.” “I cried.” “Worth the flight.” “I didn’t understand sandwiches before this.”

So he went.

When he arrived, he found a narrow little deli wedged between two brick buildings. Inside, there was only a counter, a row of booths, a handful of tables, and a small refrigerator with bottled beverages. The place was immaculate. Not modern, not trendy, just exact. Quiet in the way a church can be quiet in the middle of the afternoon.

Behind the counter stood an old man in a white apron. He had perfect posture and the air of someone who had spent decades perfecting doing only one thing.

The salesman walked up to the counter and said, “I saw the reviews. I’m here for the world’s best sandwich.”

The old man looked at him and said, “White or wheat?”

“Wheat,” said the salesman.

The old man nodded once.

Then he began.

He took the bread out with absolute reverence. He sliced tomatoes so perfectly they looked machine-made. He laid down lettuce leaf by leaf, like restoring a fresco. He added meat, cheese, oil, vinegar, cracked pepper, a pinch of salt. Every movement was exact. Silent. Controlled.

Then he wrapped the sandwich in paper, placed it on the counter, and said, “That’ll be eighteen dollars.”

The salesman paid, took the sandwich, and sat down.

He unwrapped it.

He took a bite.

The bread gave at exactly the right resistance. The acid hit at precisely the moment the fat needed lifting. The salt level was miraculous. Each ingredient was distinct, and yet all of them belonged to a single thing so complete that it no longer seemed assembled.

He finished the sandwich, stood up, and walked back to the counter.

“That,” he said, “was the best sandwich I’ve ever had in my life.”

The old man inclined his head very slightly.

The salesman said, “How long did it take you to learn to make a sandwich like that?”

“I’ve been making sandwiches for forty years,” said the old man.

“Forty years?” said the salesman. “You must have learned a lot in that time.”

“Yes,” said the old man.

The salesman waited.

The old man said, “Would you like another sandwich?”