A man goes to a doctor for a checkup...

Posted by EmergencyNo7427@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 32 comments

The doctor says "Sir, I'm afraid you have a rare disease known as HITS."

The man says "What the hell is HITS?!"

Doctor says "Well, you've somehow caught Hepatitis B, Influenza, Tuberculosis, and Syphilis all at the same time. But don't worry, there is one cure for this kind of disease."

Man asks "Well, what is it?!!?"

Doctor says "You have to completely isolate yourself for three months and eat nothing but pancakes and bacon."

Man asks "Why only pancakes and bacon?"

Doctor says "It's the only food we can slide under the door."

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Paper-Dramatic@reddit

Why not eggs? You can slide eggs under a door. At least make it a full breakfast.

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LicknDragon@reddit

Why not add coffee and a straw while we're at it?

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GregorGuy@reddit

They tend to crack before they get under

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dretnarg@reddit

This is some Norm Macdonald type material

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Organic-Low-2992@reddit

My mother told a version of this back in the 80s.

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Fabulous-Possible758@reddit

Good point. This joke should be about 10 minutes longer to read.

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boukalele@reddit

Why only pancakes and bacon?

Because the light was on

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NotLucasDavenport@reddit

Which isn’t that much typhoid, but it’s weird it happened twice.

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joey-joe-joe-jnr@reddit

I gave you an upvote as there was a joke, of sorts, at the end but wow thata bad

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uncleseano@reddit

Yeah that was a stinker. I thought it was going somewhere along the lines of he takes the wrong medicine and now has the SHITS

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Feminist_Hugh_Hefner@reddit

you were probably distracted by the third chapter of the setup.

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Reviewingremy@reddit

I haven't heard this one before.... So that's something... I suspect there's a reason but it was something

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restlessmouse@reddit

Same treatment as GASH - Gonnohrea, Aids, Syphilis, Herpes.

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sl993ghty@reddit

What I want to know is what type of job inspires someone to label this NSFW?

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This joke only works in the setting of a lethal infectious disease with unknown method of transmission and no cure. It was gallows humor about AIDS when the disease was first rapidly spreading and cure (or long term suppressive treatment) had not yet been discovered. People initially thought it could be spread by casual touch, so no one would want to get close enough to an AIDS patient to treat them.

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