I bought a pen that can write under water...

it can also write other words and phrases.

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I have a blue pen that can write red

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The color of the pen, I have in my hand, is roooyal blue. The pen is blue. The goddamn pen is blue!

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Liar.

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Mine can write a mile

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Fisher Space Pen!

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This used to be the funniest joke at one point

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"I have a parrot that says good morning", says a guy. And other: "I have a can that says Beans"

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I make all my purchases off of Pen Island

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A pen is, what a pen is.

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Penis.

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That de-pens