I was denied service at Starbucks today.

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Stagamemnon@reddit

Why would a lady be asking you what her own cup size is?

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Lietenantdan@reddit

Maybe she wants you to guess just for fun?

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PewRpew@reddit

Yeah or maybe you win a jar full of jelly beans

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JakBos23@reddit

Don't ask to shake them. Apparently that's cheating. . . On your GF

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jetblackswird@reddit

Gf doesn't say it's cheating. But she certainly says I'm breaking some rules when I shake hers without asking.

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Ya know I've been told that. She can break all the boundaries she wants and she says it's being sexy. If I grab her boob she slaps my hand. Last week she grabbed my head and pulled it to her chest. So I stuck my arms out. She asked what the hell I was doing. From between he boobs I said "you didn't say I could touch them". Then she tried to smother me with them. I think she's trying to kill me lol.

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PewRpew@reddit

Death by snoo snoo!

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alwaysfatigued8787@reddit

This is what constant gooning does to a mind.

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IAmAnObvioustrollAMA@reddit

For reals... non gooners make their coffee at home!

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LicknDragon@reddit

Thanks for letting me know, I was doing both. Could have been dangerous.

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IAmAnObvioustrollAMA@reddit

How do you goon while not gooning!?

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sdarkpaladin@reddit

Eh? Isn't the definition of goon (old) to not goon (new)?

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IAmAnObvioustrollAMA@reddit

To goon or not to goon that is the question... -Goonlet

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fruggleshopper62@reddit

Some of these comments need augmentation

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Eastwood96@reddit

Tit for tat, but those things are usually breast left unsaid.

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Dadpool719@reddit

Tat

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Flickster81@reddit

Tit for tat. You have good tits

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Dadpool719@reddit

38DD. But I'm a 40+ year old man.

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K3idon@reddit

Thanks for the mammaries

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Knerzbert@reddit

You are welcome, bra

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fricafrac@reddit

I'll keep abreast of all the puns

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Responsible_Run_8151@reddit

I’m nipping at the chance for boobie puns.

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DObservingayayay@reddit

OP should’ve gone for a booba drink instead.

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Equivalent-Draft9248@reddit

Er…ehm….. boobs

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Glum-Ad7761@reddit

Boob-inga!

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jetblackswird@reddit

Leave Inga out of this

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JollyOutcome88@reddit

Bro!

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BatarianBob@reddit

Even though they weren't so great.

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basementfox69420@reddit

He tits like you only sweeter

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Quarterchickenchips@reddit

I thought they were spectacular

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Quarterchickenchips@reddit

I thought they were spectacular

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Yttikymmug@reddit

Your mammerisms are well rounded but come to a point!

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Eastwood96@reddit

I think I'll keep milking them for all they're worth.

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Glum-Ad7761@reddit

He should have told her that He works at Areola 51…

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Bemeup57@reddit

I don’t know why boob pins get so many knockers.

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hsfguy0@reddit

On a side-boob, what coffee did you get?

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Warpmind@reddit (OP)

Black, no sugar, like a sociopath.

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Eastwood96@reddit

More support.

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Federal_Appearance_4@reddit

A girl asked for a light roast at Starbucks to which the guy replied “you have small tits but I’d still hook up with you”

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snapplesauce1@reddit

Dark roast: You have the complexion of a dead body. But I like it that way.

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DaoFerret@reddit

Medium Roast: You remind me a lot of my next ex.

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EtherealPheonix@reddit

Sir this is a Starbucks.

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OrdinaryAthiest@reddit

Cringe.

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TheDevilsAdvokaat@reddit

You made a boob and got busted.

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SplitEights@reddit

You could have said “grande”

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Lietenantdan@reddit

A guy was at a restaurant, and he flagged a waitress down.

“May I ask about the menu please?”

She then slaps him and says “The men I please are none of your business!”

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Warpmind@reddit (OP)

I dunno, after some of the absolute Karens I've encountered in HR positions, I'd rather not risk it, just in case.

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Warpmind@reddit (OP)

Ouch. Beautiful clapback, I'd be more impressed than hurt, but ouch.

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J_A_Slade@reddit

ehhhh....I don't think they've ever asked for "cup size"