Little Johnny...
Posted by euben_hadd@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 33 comments
Little Johnny was in class and his teacher was going through a list of words to have each student use in a sentence.
As she got closer to Little Johnny, she began to worry about her decision. His word was "urinate," and she didn't want to give it to him.
Teacher "Who wants the next one?" Little Johhny has his hand waving in the air while no one else responds.
Defeated, the teacher says "Ok, Johnny, your word is 'urinate'."
Little Johnny thinks for a moment then says: "My dad says 'you're an 8' but if you had bigger tits you'd be a 10!"
Allegra1120@reddit
“I wanna be Johnny’s whore.”
mikemaz57@reddit
You can be anything you want to be! We believe in you!
Allegra1120@reddit
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane." The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson "And how about you, Sarah?" "I wanna be Johnny's whore"
Sofa-King-Done@reddit
Little Johhny always in the principal's office
mordecai98@reddit
It's the principle of the thing.
aktripod@reddit
Heard the joke as… Little Johnny is in class and raises his hand: “Teacher I hafta go take a piss!” “Johnny! That is not the correct word to use. The word is urinate. Now I want you to use that word in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a second: “Urinate, but with bigger tits you’d be a ten!”
euben_hadd@reddit (OP)
I suppose there are different versions. I'm old and remember it from like 50 years ago.
hadji828@reddit
Yeah, I heard a similar joke many years ago, but it is meant more to be heard than read:
A guy is having sex with a woman and when they are done, he says, "You're an eight." She says, "What??" He repeats himself and she says "Okay, " then stands up and pees on him. He says, "What the hell did you do that for??" "You said urinate," she replies. He says, "You WERE an 8, now you're a 5!"
SpaceBug176@reddit
5?
hadji828@reddit
Well, she was still moderately attractive...
Deadwoodhooplehead@reddit
One is better than a two.
CrocodileJock@reddit
Or a ten, if that's what you're into...
XannedO@reddit
Little Johnny has been getting people fired and suspended since the dawn of time. I’m convinced the kid is actually a 40-year-old man in a striped shirt who has spent decades perfecting the art of being a menace to society. It’s a classic for a reason—the delivery always hits
Lallner@reddit
Last night I went to bed at 2 with a 10, but I woke up at 10 with a 2
justtobecontrary@reddit
Oh, you're innate.
Ok-Angle7447@reddit
Little Johnny’s teacher later reluctantly asked him to use the word “fascinate“ in a sentence. Little Johnny said, “ My nanny’s blouse has 12 buttons, but she only likes to fascinate.”
GrumpyCatStevens@reddit
I heard that one as, "My cousin Betsy's blouse has 10 buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fascinate."
Valuable-Paramedic93@reddit
She must have a bad back
Riffpin@reddit
But a fantastic front
Optimal_Law_4254@reddit
Fascinating
aBanjoPicker@reddit
She thought it was safe to ask him to say and use the word “Rats” in a sentence.
He said “RATS! BIG FUCKING RATS WITH BALLS THIS BIG!!!”
NoobNoob9999@reddit
aah , a very “is there a black purse in here” vibe
TurbulentWeb1941@reddit
Idk the punchline. Pray tell 🙏
3percentinvisible@reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/funnyvideos/s/peWe2SB0Mt
TurbulentWeb1941@reddit
Thank you 😊
Hom3ward_b0und@reddit
Is there a black person here
TurbulentWeb1941@reddit
🤦♂️ Oh, of course. Thanks
Valuable-Paramedic93@reddit
Teacher,"Now Lil Johnny, if i gave you 10 DOLLARS and you gave Maria 3dollara and Juanita 3 dollars what you have left ? Lil Johnny, enthusiastically pumping his hands in the air , " Ma Bitches "!
Viking-Mutt@reddit
Classic little Johnny energy! He never disappoints.
Moist_Rule9623@reddit
When I learned these, he was Dirty Johnny, and this was my favorite of the bunch
tlbs101@reddit
There has got to be a word to describe using your innate ability to eliminate waste liquid from your body. I just can’t find it.
Financial_Cat_4795@reddit
Close but I think only number two
Arizona_Sailor@reddit
I first heard Little Johnny jokes in 7th grade. We laughed then named a couple students that would definitely say that very thing.