A time traveller goes back to ancient Rome and immediately starts looking for local clothing.

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50sDadSays@reddit

Then the time traveler thought that the tailor making the togas looked familiar, in fact he looked like drawings he'd seen of the great playwright Euripides.

Excited, he exclaimed "Euripides?"

The tailor responded, "No, I sew all these."

(Adapted from the old joke.)

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Captain_Wah@reddit

For those that don't know Roman Numerals, L=50 and X=10. Placing a smaller digit before a larger digit means "this amount before this larger amount," i.e.: XL=40.

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predat3d@reddit

But how did the seller understand colloquial 21st-century English? I'm still skeptical of the accuracy of this reporting.

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EveryDebtYouTake@reddit

there, fixed it for you:

Viator temporis in Romam antiquam redit et statim vestimenta loci quaerere incipit. Tabernam vestiarii invenit et inquit, "Heus, licetne mihi togam habere, quaeso?"

"Certe, quota magnitudine?" inquit tabernarius.

"Nescio. Experiamur L."

Tabernarius ei togam tradit, viator temporis eam induit, deinde inquit, "Aliquantulum arcta est. Licetne mihi XL experiri, quaeso?"

Et tabernarius inquit, "Quidnam sibi vult minoris flagitare?"

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EtherealPheonix@reddit

Sorry, I don't understand can you translate that into English for me?

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predat3d@reddit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIAdHEwiAy8

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tofu_ink@reddit

Thank you for that, I'm now skeptical of this report.

However as a joke, I'm entertained.

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wittymcusername@reddit

The TARDIS translates for you, duh.

“What happens if I say veni vidi vici?”

“Sorry lady, I don’t speak Celtic.”

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subfixer@reddit

Your explanation makes me feel old now.

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CerberusZX@reddit

It's been like 900 years. Most would consider that to be old.

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Gadgez@reddit

I think he's only 47, but I'd have thought wrestlers would retire sooner.

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obxgaga@reddit

“Old woman.” “Man.” “Old man, sorry.” “I’m 37, I’m not old!”

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Mkepson@reddit

What I object to is you automatically treating me as an inferior!

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ixamnis@reddit

I’m like LXVII, so it’s been a long time for me, as well.

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drkodos@reddit

always the best way to ruin a joke: explain it

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Opening-Lettuce-3384@reddit

Omg...I know Roman Numerals but just did not get the joke...I'll let myself out...

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North_Station_302@reddit

That's ok, we all had a LL chance of getting it right away.

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Captain_Coco_Koala@reddit

Which means LIV golf means it's over 3 days, hence you play 54 holes (LIV = 54).

But now LIV golf has gone back to the traditional 4 days = 72 holes. But they still have the name LIV.

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sgt_oddball_17@reddit

Because jokes are so much funnier after they are explained.....

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Evening-Tomatillo-47@reddit

I bet when someone asks you a question you tell them to google it

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"Hey guys, IF YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, I'll help you enjoy with us. You know, in case you didn't have the knowledge required for this fun joke" "GOD I FUCKING HATE NICE PEOPLE" You do understand that there is a fundamental difference between helping people that need it and being and idiot an explaining the joke when everyone clearly already got it?

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segwaysegue@reddit

An ancient Roman walks into a bar and says, "✌️ Five beers, please!"

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

I'm so mad! I can't remember the Roman numerals for 999, 51, 6, or 500.

IM LI VI D

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Gil-Gandel@reddit (OP)

Another Roman asks for a martinus. "Martini, don't you mean?" asks the bartender. "No, just the one," says the Roman.

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enwongeegeefor@reddit

oh god conjugation....I think I forgot it all now....4 years of latin....pbbbt...don't use it you lose I guess.

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Odd-Adagio7080@reddit

Ever seen The Life of Brian? Funny scene in there where the Roman soldiers make him properly conjugate his graffiti saying “Romans go home!”

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Nanosleep1024@reddit

Romans they go to the house?

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Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

It... it says, 'Romans go home.'

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enwongeegeefor@reddit

HAAAAAAA!!!!!! Ok so...in high school I took latin for 3 years (I had a year in middle school) and also took a Bible Lit class...The Bible: As Literature. It was taught by a very progressive lady. We learned all kinds of cool stuff, like the Children of the Fiery Furnace, Balaam whipping his ass, and Yael tent staking a military general in that.

ANYWAY...I was taking the bible lit class while I was taking the latin class....and our "final" was sitting around and watching The Life of Brian in class. THAT SCENE HAPPENED AND I KNEW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT AND LAUGHED VERY LOUDLY....and NO ONE else in the class even chuckled and I realized I did the thing once again.

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Odd-Adagio7080@reddit

The Bible as lit could be pretty interesting. I never read it, but as a former roommate once told me, “It’s the greatest story ever told.”

Funny thing—leaned more Bible stories from Grateful Dead songs than anything else. . .”Samson and Delilah”, “My Brother Essau”, and they even have a song called “Greatest Story Ever Told.”

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enwongeegeefor@reddit

Oh I was bitter about christianity at the time....my grandma had given something like 80k of my grandparents retirement to a tent revival preacher with a NOW infamous name thanks to World of Warcraft...Leroy Jenkins. He's the guy that started the whole selling little bottles of holy water shtick and also did the "put your hand on the TV and pray" shit.

That teacher broke me of my blind disgust and hatred of christianity and I ended up learning that this jesus guy seemed to be pretty decent. Never gonna be "religious" but I can recognize a good story with good values and morals.

I still gotta pretty healthy distaste for organize religion though...and that will probably never change. Maybe not Church of the Sub-Genius though or non-levey satanism.

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FlyMyPretty@reddit

When I was in Italy I went to a store that sold paninis. I said "panini" (in my best Italian accent). They said "how many?"

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b0ingy@reddit

should’ve ordered a paninus

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The_Notorious_GOB@reddit

Is it correct then to say “one paninus?”

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HratioRastapopulous@reddit

Not Italian, but I believe it’s panino

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screwcork313@reddit

And they looked at me like I was mad when I said I needed one more Panino sticker to complete my world cup album!

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unfvckingbelievable@reddit

Can confirm.

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VikingTuba@reddit

Then you have to mark this NSFW

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deadspacekillers@reddit

I have literally eaten one huge raviolo before.

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CromulentDucky@reddit

I ordered ravioli, received a single raviolo, and was rather upset.

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we_toucans_share@reddit

The bartender says, that'll be 60 denarii. So the customer handed over a 10 denarius note and then a 50 denarius note. Bartender says: Ok, that's 40...

(yeah, I know they didn't have paper money)

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screwcork313@reddit

The next customer who came in was a greek. So when he went to pay, he said "Listen up, here's my koine..."

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Olofahere@reddit

I won't understand it if I live to be C

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fuzzbox000@reddit

Wasn't that The Frantics?

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JSmellerM@reddit

A German tourist goes to a bar in New York and orders "Two martinis, please."

The bartender asks "Dry?"

So the German yells "NO TWO!"

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cflime@reddit

I did laugh. But the Roman toga was just several yards of fabric that a Roman citizen would wind around themselves. If it were too tight you'd just wear it looser. The Romans considered the toga to be the garment of peace, because you couldn't go into battle in a tangle of cloth you needed to hold while you were wearing it. The tunic was a knee length shirt that would make more sense.

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