A little old church lady is on her roof as a hurricane makes the nearby river flood...
Posted by Cleopatra_bones@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 8 comments
The flood waters are up to her ankles while she prays for God to save her. Suddenly a small boat appears. The man on the boat says "I'm here to rescue you. Climb onboard." The lady replies "Oh thank you kind soul, but my faith in the good lord is the only rescue I need. God will save me." So, the boatman moves on.
Hours later the flood waters are up to the lady's waist. As she still prays another boat arrives. The boatman says "It's getting bad out here. You oughta get on the boat before it gets worse." The lady replies "Thank you sir, but my faith is unshaken. God will save me in the end." The boatman shrugs and moves on.
Hours later the water is now up to the lady's neck. As she prays she feels the water ripple strangely and looks up to see a helicopter and a rope ladder. The pilot calls out over the loudspeaker "Lady, grab the ladder. We'll fly you out of here!" The lady unclasps her praying hands and yells back "I'm okay! Don't you worry! God will save me!" So the pilot moves on.
Hours later the lady finds herself surrounded by clouds and in front of a golden gate. Saint Peter welcomes her to heaven. Confused, the lady says "I don't understand. I prayed and I prayed for God to save me."
Saint Peter says "Lady! We sent two boats and a helicopter!"
Imaginary-Space1359@reddit
As a lifelong Floridian, I’ve heard this story my whole life.
Cleopatra_bones@reddit (OP)
Should I have framed the lady as "Florida Man?"
I think that would have been a very different story...
Revo63@reddit
I heard it as a man who was stranded, and the last rescuer to show up was a submarine.
Imaginary-Space1359@reddit
It’s always been a helicopter, as it’s a close reference to God plucking you out of the situation from the sky.
Eurylochushater24@reddit
I heard a jeep, boat, helicopter, then they sent help by land, sea, and air, why are you here my child?
WarderWannabe@reddit
“The West Wing” S1E14 Karl Malden tells this joke to President Bartlet.
Low_Platypus_7138@reddit
I love this one. It reminds me of antivaxxers
SerDankTheTall@reddit
Never heard this one with a woman before.