A nun walks into a liquor store
Posted by daddywags2011@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 17 comments
She goes up to the counter and orders a bottle of whiskey from the owner. He is shocked, and says "Sister, I can't sell you alcohol." She says "It's okay, it's for Mother Superior, she has a bad case of constipation". The owner is still skeptical, but he goes ahead and sells her a bottle.
At the end of the night, the owner is taking out the trash out back and he stumbles over the passed out nun in the alley. He gets her up and shouts "Sister, I thought you said that whiskey was for Mother Superior's constipation!". She drunkenly replies "Yeah, she's gonna shit when she finds out how drunk I am!"
Joke courtesy of Al Perry, may he RIP.
RabidPlaty@reddit
Why can’t he sell alcohol to nuns? They’re allowed to drink.
nineason@reddit
I have gotten drunk with Fathers and nuns a bunch of times.
martphon@reddit
Maybe a Buddhist nun?
Laez@reddit
In the longer version of the joke it is explained that mother superior asked all the local merchants to not supply this alcoholic nun.
RabidPlaty@reddit
OP should probably stick to that version.
LegendOfKhaos@reddit
He just hates them
RabidPlaty@reddit
This was much funnier than the joke.
DoFr56@reddit
The Priest and the Nun that had been in and around the parish for years became entangled late one evening. After a few minutes to catch their breath and realize what they had done.
The priest remarks that if this leaks out, his reputation will be ruined! The nun spinning off the rectory desk, up and moving said “ if this does not ALL leak out, MY reputation is ruined!
ZeroPenguinParty@reddit
A classic joke. Have it in a joke book from the 1990's. Always a pleasure reading it again.
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warriorathlete21@reddit
Anticipation of the punch line was killing me.
I was sweating like a nun taking a pregnancy test.
DaoFerret@reddit
Reminds me of the old joke where the mother superior calls the convent together for an assembly.
She turns to the assembled nuns and starts in on her tirade, “Last night a MAN was spotted sneaking into the dormitories!”
99 nuns cry out in shock, and 1 nun giggles “tehehehe”.
The mother superior continues, “There was a used CONDOM found in the bushes!”
99 nuns cry out in shock, and 1 nun giggles “tehehehe”.
“There was a HOLE in the CONDOM!” the mother superior yells out.
1 nun cries out in shock, and 99 nuns giggle “tehehehe”.
I3bacon@reddit
Good one ... I'll shamelessly steal it and use it one day. 😂
Visible_Grand_8561@reddit
A nun asked for some fancy liquor. I walked out of the storeroom in my best clothes and tongue hanging my mouth.
youthofoldage@reddit
A nun runs out of a doctor’s office screaming. The nurse asks the doctor what happened.
“I told her she was pregnant”
“That nun was pregnant?”
“No, she just had the hiccups”
Youngandimproving@reddit
What kind of meat does a priest eat on Friday? Nun
oracledp@reddit
You can fool around with a nun, but don't get in the habit...