Brunette and Blonde Inherit their Family Ranch

Posted by Simply-Jolly_Fella@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 82 comments

Two sisters — one blonde, one brunette — inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they fall into financial trouble.

To keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to buy a bull so they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances the checkbook, then takes their last $600 and heads out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Before leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you so you can drive out and help haul it home.”

The brunette arrives, inspects the bull, and decides to buy it. The man tells her he’ll sell it for $599 — no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram with the news.

She walks into the telegraph office and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator nods and says, “I’d be glad to help. It’s just 99 cents a word.”

With only $1 left after buying the bull, the brunette realizes she can only afford to send one word.

After thinking for a moment, she nods and says, “Send her the word ‘comfortable.’”

The telegraph operator looks puzzled. “How will she know to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul the bull back if you send just the word ‘comfortable’?”

The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it slow.”

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RealCrazySwordGirl@reddit

Is it not a "telegram"? Telegraph was the Morse code sending device with the dots and dashes.

Telegram is what they had before fax, email, and instant messaging, to get short messages quickly from one location to another, but not necessarily sent by Morse.

It was, i think even up until the 1980s, a way you could send those short messages to arrive within minutes or hours, but it was basically done by phone. You'd call up the western Union operator, tell her what you wanted to say, then she would contact whatever operator was on that side, who would transcribe the message and send it by delivery courier to wherever your recipient was.

Then they invented fax machines.

Then they invented the internet.

Then cell phones.

Then Reddit! 😆

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Willing-Fudge-7887@reddit

Fun fact the fax machine was first patented in 1843! fax on Wikipedia

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WeHaveSixFeet@reddit

Hence the statement that Abraham Lincoln could theoretically have sent a fax to a samurai.

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RealCrazySwordGirl@reddit

That's awesome! Of course, you can patent something without actually making a working one, no?

Back in the day i had at least one boyfriend with whom i used to exchange fax letters the way people in the 90s and 00s sent emails 😆

Now, i wish the concept of email had never been invented 🙄😖

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jflb96@reddit

You don’t have to have made a working one, but you do have to know how to make a working one and disclose how to make a working one. That’s why Gene Roddenberry never got a patent for warp drives.

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RealCrazySwordGirl@reddit

Interesting! Did he try to get a patent for warp drives?!

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jflb96@reddit

Not as far as I know

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darkslide3000@reddit

Telegrams were sent by telegraphs. That's what telegraphs were for. The concept of a telegram was later grandfathered into newer communication systems for people who needed the consistency, but the entire point of that message type (the fact that it can only support the characters in the Morse alphabet, that it is billed character by character, that it doesn't distinguish upper and lower case, that it uses a special STOP character, etc.) was for sending it via telegraph.

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RealCrazySwordGirl@reddit

Yes, of course. But the message was called a teleGRAM. The device for sending them was the teleGRAPH

D34thst41ker@reddit

Took me a bit to get it. For those having issues, Comfortable, read slowly, can be read as 'Come For Ta Bull', with Ta able to be interpreted as The.

mvandemar@reddit

Thank you, I could not get there. :)

OkapiEli@reddit

I got it right away. And yes, I’m blonde LOL

jbauer68@reddit

A blonde asked me to explain it to her. I got her right away.

New_Expression_5724@reddit

I got it right away, and I am bald.

AreYouAnOakMan@reddit

r/FoundTheBlonde

4mystuff@reddit

A sub we need

JSmellerM@reddit

Won't that be just full of blondes thinking they are lost?

No. It’s empty. They couldn’t find their way in.

Yes. Still worthwhile.

MeButNotMeToo@reddit

It exists, it’s just empty …

DefiantMemory9@reddit

I kept reading it as "Come For Table" a few times before I broke up "Ta Ble".

KnoWanUKnow2@reddit

I was wondering why she needed a table.

K_Mike_K@reddit

Why did the blonde write TGIF on the inside of all her shoes?

As a reminder: Toes go in first.

slowsteadyfreddy@reddit

Bravo....

Professional-Weird44@reddit

This is a new one! Well done!!

Iphroget@reddit

"New joke" featuring a telegram?

APacketOfWildeBees@reddit

A dog walks into a post office to send a telegraph...

blacksterangel@reddit

With a pastor and a rabbi

MeanwhileSomeplace@reddit

The panda orders h2o

Cozzamarra@reddit

Eats shoots and leaves after.

Talory09@reddit

Eats shoots and leaves ~~after~~.

4theloveofsquirrels@reddit

That was a great grammar joke on the back cover of that book! I have a t-shirt that still cracks me up... it says:

       Let's eat, Grandma 
       Let's eat Grandma

       Grammar matters

Grandma matters too.

Ha, that should be on the back!

chux4w@reddit

The rabbit says "I'm a type O."

monkeysky@reddit

He puts a five dollar bill on the table, and the clerk tells him to dictate the message.

The dog goes "woof woof woof, woof woof, woof, woof woof."

The clerk says "you know, you paid five dollars, you can add another 'woof' at the end of your message."

The dog says "but then it wouldn't make any sense."

rificolona@reddit

Finally a joke that actually made me laugh. I will mark this date. (tips hat)

kerenosabe@reddit

It was new when my grandpa first heard it in 1957.

When he told it to me, I didn't get it because I had no idea how telegrams work.

313078@reddit

First time it was sent in morse code

tanzmeister@reddit

You can't be serious

What? It was a joke!

Anyway I haven’t seen it on here and Ive been coming. Here a long time!

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22comfortable%22+site%3Areddit.com%2Fr%2Fjokes

AdFragrant6602@reddit

Scout camp, central Calif., about 1977. I have not heard it since. Not new, but a good one.

alexaboyhowdy@reddit

Yeah, I've been telling it since the 80's

AutoModerator@reddit

/u/alexaboyhowdy has unlocked an opportunity for education!

Abbreviated date-ranges like "’90s" are contractions, so the apostrophe goes before the numbers.

You can also completely omit the apostrophe if you want: "The 90s were a bit weird."

Numeric date-ranges like 1890s are treated like standard nouns, so they shouldn't include apostrophes.

To show possession, the apostrophe should go after the S: "That was the ’90s’ best invention."

The apostrophe should only precede the S if a specific year is being discussed: "It was 1990's hottest month."

TL;DR: When writing dates, apostrophes do not pluralize!

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Sorry, it was middle the night not fully awake texting

CloggedNose@reddit

I remember hearing this joke like 20 years ago lol

Belgrugni@reddit

Definitely not new, heard it over 25 years ago! Is better than the average blond joke though.

jwd1066@reddit

“Zebulon spent the morning trying to hitch a new lead horse to the war chariot.

After three hours, two broken straps, and one bitten hand, the horse was calm, the chariot was ready, and the animal followed obediently wherever it was led.

No one is quite surethe method s, but Tirzah has just invoiced him for services rendered… which, as ever, proves why hers is considered the oldest profession.”

Sorry, but you are NOT smarter than a blonde. /s