I confessed to a priest that I had committed all of the seven deadly sins in just one day
Posted by DaFoxtrot86@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 16 comments
The priest, surprised by my confession, asked for details.
"Well... I was angry and envious at my neighbor, so I lazily seduced his wife, ate all his groceries, and I didn't share.
The priest takes a quick count and says "You forgot pride."
And I said "No, I'm pretty proud of this."
Independent_Bite4682@reddit
Wasn't this just posted less than 3 weeks ago.... copy and paste
DaFoxtrot86@reddit (OP)
I did not know that. I just looked up jokes about the seven deadly sins a few days ago, saw this one and thought it'd be funny to post.
Strive--@reddit
Alternative punchline… “I didn’t come here to atone.”
Ghiren@reddit
To be fair, that is pretty impressive.
Iokua_CDN@reddit
I'm just going to say, lazily seduced his wife is a bit... meh.
I'd instead stay "so I seduced his wife, then lazily ate all his groceries without sharing."
Or something like that. Sloth makes much more sense to be doing it while also gluttonously eating all the food rather than lazily seducing someone.
tenthjuror@reddit
Took an afternoon nap on his couch after eating all the food in the fridge.
Iokua_CDN@reddit
Even better! Thank you, that's the perfect edit to the joke
Ajfd@reddit
Minor tweak to make the last line pop:
The priest takes a quick count and says "That's only six."
And I said "No, I'm pretty proud of this."
Waitsfornoone@reddit
Sloth - always the hardest one when someone aspires to commit all 7 deadly sins in one day.
Wowza-yowza@reddit
How do you lazily seduce? If so, you should write a book.
DaFoxtrot86@reddit (OP)
Naw. Desperate housewives is already a series
bajajoaquin@reddit
“I’m here bragging to you, aren’t I?”
checker280@reddit
“Why are you telling me? I’m a Rabbi!”
“Because I’m telling EVERYONE!”
david13z@reddit
That’s the better punchline. Like the 85 year old man who went to confession to tell the priest that he had sex with two 18 year olds? The priest asked how long it had been since his last confession. The old man said he’s never been to confession because he’s Jewish. The priest asks why are you telling me? The old guy says “are you kidding? I’m telling everybody “.
Creepy-Team6442@reddit
😂🤣
Dman_57@reddit
Not catholic just wanted to tell someone.