Guy goes to the doctor, says, "Doc! Doc! You gotta help me! My damn dick turned bright orange!"

Posted by mvandemar@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 50 comments

The doctors says, "Really? Oh my, I've never heard of that before. Let's take a look."

So the man drops his pants and underwear, and sure enough the doctor sees the brightest, orangest penis he's ever seen.

"Hm," says the doctor, "do you now or have you ever by any chance worked in a dye factory?"

"Nah, never done that for work" the man replies.

"Well," the doctor continues, "do you work with any dangerous chemicals?"

"Nope, sounds too scary, wouldn't do that either" says the man.

Stumped, the doctor then asks, "Ok, do you work with radioactive materials then?"

"No, Doc, you don't get it!" the man retorts, "This can't be work related, gotta be something else! I've been unemployed for months now, all I do is sit around the house eating Cheetos and watching porn!"

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FiveFingerStudios@reddit

1980 is closer to 50 than 30

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LitigiousCeilingCat@reddit

It ain’t easy bein’ cheesy.

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XDDDSOFUNNEH@reddit

NEIL PERT IS THE BEST FUCKING DRUMMER EVER!

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GroanZoneDadJokes@reddit

I got this reference. Best damn movie ever!

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CJRedbeard@reddit

Are you sitting at home in a bean chair eating cheetos? Do you want to donate $1,000 to me?

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Glum-Ad7761@reddit

This joke dates back to the 1980’s. Still funny.

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Adorable-Response-75@reddit

Wow. Half a century years old.

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fly_over_32@reddit

30 years isn’t half a century…

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LordSia@reddit

I've got good news and bad news...

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fly_over_32@reddit

Do an old man a favour and keep them

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InfinitelyAbysmal@reddit

Oh I don't like that

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mvandemar@reddit (OP)

Not one bit. Dammit.

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Mycroft90@reddit

Credit to Buddy Hackett

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mvandemar@reddit (OP)

Oh God, really?? Do you have a link to him telling it? I can't find it and I would love to see that if you do. :)

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ManOfTheMeeting@reddit

This is why a simple taste test is recommended in these kinds of situations.

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hbennet@reddit

NGL, I initially thought this was going to be a joke about DJT

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Sweaty-Can4476@reddit

Ah... I see now. Thank you for explaining

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Sweaty-Can4476@reddit

Hu? What happened 🤨?

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SuperSyrias@reddit

He eats cheetos. Famously sticky orange dusty dust cheetos. Then watches porn. Without washing his hands. He touches himself down there, because nobody just "watches" porn. Then he does not bath or shower, then sleeps, then does it all over again.

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sjciske@reddit

The orange dust from Cheetohs is called: Cheetle.

Really.

Honest.

https://www.davidbanks.net/blog-3-1/the-cheetle-effect-how-flavor-dust-became-an-icon-of-american-snack-culture

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BlackChinese2@reddit

Gotta be sure its cheetos doc

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twcsata@reddit

Separate hands, man, separate hands. One for jackin’, one for snackin’.

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ThatCJGuy431@reddit

Man, I really hoped this was a Presidential joke…

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carmium@reddit

One's mind goes there instantly, alas...

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ElfDestruct@reddit

is his name Bubba?

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kansai2kansas@reddit

Look folks, when it comes to jokes, nobody does jokes better than me, okay?

It's incredible, people are lining up waiting to hear my jokes, it's true folks, a lot of people are saying it

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Unique_Anywhere5735@reddit

The joke is almost done, it's basically over, but I want you to know it's ahead of schedule. I won't give you the schedule, because my enemies would love to know that.

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ThatCJGuy431@reddit

That’s better!

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TheGalacticApple@reddit

Don't worry it just means you're next in line to become President.

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mvandemar@reddit (OP)

Sorry for the cheesy joke guys.

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Curious-Singer-9281@reddit

You forgot to add the part where he also has tennis elbow.

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FuriousResolve@reddit

I legit remember this joke from high school almost 20 years ago. Wild lol

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Acrobatic-Ocelot-935@reddit

Make it 60 years.

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SirGreybush@reddit

30 years ago for me. Was funnier back then.

Modern version should be: bright red and burns

Doc: stop eating Takis when watching porn

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ElectricTurtlez@reddit

Would still work for back then with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

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ballcheese808@reddit

Funny how doc thought that was a natural looking orange colour

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The_H_N_I_C@reddit

I was taking night classes for becoming a CNC operator around 2001 and told a variation of this joke to the classroom. I think a couple of days later I had bought a 61" TV and was telling some of the classmates about it, the next day when I got to class a bunch of the guys were stifling laughter until I sat down. Almost all at once they tossed a bunch of bags of Cheetos from the vending machine at me and erupted into laughter.

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J3cksonnn@reddit

haha

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Gumbysfriend@reddit

A blonde girl takes her car to the mechanic. After a few minutes she says to him " what's the problem ? " he says " crap in your carburetor " she says " how often do I have to do that ? "

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Firm-Raccoon-9048@reddit

Cheesy does it!

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blacksterangel@reddit

A guy goes to the doctor because one of his balls turned blue.

The doctor says, "This looked bad. I think we have to cut this ball or it could be a life-threatening situation".

"Well, I don't like it but I guess we have no choice" says the man.

A week later the same guy returns complaining that now the other ball turned blue

"Unfortunately, the condition seem to be spreading. I'm afraid we have to cut the other ball too" concludes the doctor

"Damn it doctor. Is there anything else we could do?" begs the man

"I'm sorry" says the doctor, "but I'm afraid that's our only option"

So the doctor cut the last ball and send the man home. Around a week later, the man returns and this time it's his penis that has turned blue. The doctor gave the same solution. The penis had to be cut off.

"How am I going to pee then?" complains the man. "I don't want to have to sit down to pee"

"Don't worry. I'm going to install a silicone hose as a replacement." says the doctor

So the doctor installed a medical-grade silicone as a penis replacement and send the man home. Three days later, the man returns.

"Doc, now the silicone hose turns blue!!"

Puzzled, the doctor take another look and says,

"Well bud, I think it might be your jeans..."

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