What's the difference between a cow and a crucifixion?
Posted by _Oolon_@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 58 comments
You can't milk a cow for 2000 years.
Posted by _Oolon_@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 58 comments
You can't milk a cow for 2000 years.
RustyNK@reddit
What was Jesus' ultimate sacrifice? He gave up his weekend
EnlightenedExplorer@reddit
To visit his father, who was living in heaven.
Competitive_Link_42@reddit
We’ll see how funny this is in the day of judgment.
FriendshipQuick1926@reddit
Although they are meant to be humorous, I don't find them that way. You all should be ashamed of yourselves for taking things so lightly. That's my viewpoint and y'all don't have to agree with me.
HawkeyeJosh2@reddit
That’s good because we don’t.
FriendshipQuick1926@reddit
Why am I not surprised!?
averagejoe860@reddit
That’s a bold joke for Good Friday. But you only live once! Just kidding. See you Sunday! -Jesus
Quiet-Salamander5231@reddit
Stop! You're splitting my sides!
Reecethehawk@reddit
😂
scr1bbl3@reddit
Ha! Nice
Neverendingmuthrfuk@reddit
At least they’re not making multiple movies every year and pretending they deserve best picture, like they do with the holocaust
DieFichte@reddit
Well whoever wrote the bible should have done a better job, aparently the material can't be adopted unless you are a raging alcoholic anti-semite.
ChestSlight8984@reddit
What did they say? I'm intrigued.
DieFichte@reddit
He wasn't very amused with the joke involving a religious figure. I guess he wanted to substantiate whatever argument he had by comparing the amount of academy award winning movies there are about the Holocaust versus Jesus.
CeruleanEidolon@reddit
This is a really, really strange ax to grind.
Neverendingmuthrfuk@reddit
Naw, you’ve just been successfully brainwashed :) it’s no wonder they keep making these movies for people like you to think they enjoy.
siekobilly@reddit
Where are all of the jokes about allah? You scaredy-cats!
Crazyguy199096@reddit
It takes 72 virgins to make one
oldtruckerguy@reddit
I don't want to have to go into hiding like that Author did over 25 years ago
Subject-Relation-352@reddit
They went outta style in 2001.
BreakfastPizzaStudio@reddit
I agree, I feel like those would blow up!
Voratus@reddit
I think this is the first joke I've seen in /jokes
HighVulgarian@reddit
Jesus Christ!
GenerationYKnot@reddit
"You have a lovely home!"
Wide_With_Opinions@reddit
Ding Dong!
the_flat_man@reddit
Get the escalade, we're leaving
TribeBloodEagle@reddit
We all know he was very secretive about his Honda, and did not speak of his own Accord.
3point21@reddit
It’s Jason Bourne!
DudesworthMannington@reddit
They're minerals, Marie!
_Oolon_@reddit (OP)
On a stick!
_Oolon_@reddit (OP)
On a stick!
TwntyKnots@reddit
Precisely
DamnedGladToMeetYou@reddit
Oof!
Liv1ng-the-Blues@reddit
Jesus Wept!
PlanttDaMinecraftGuy@reddit
Leaving this at 666 upvotes
Bikertov@reddit
He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty boy 🤣
Jokeminder42@reddit
Now... fvck off!
Marquar234@reddit
Are you a virgin?
If it's not a personal question.
LostBetsRed@reddit
Jesus saves... but Moses gets the rebound! He shoots! HE SCORES!!
Fuckoffassholes@reddit
Can't milk a cow for 2000 but you can milk Dachau for at least 80.
john-stacks@reddit
ironic its on good friday
Frontrowbass@reddit
Substitute (historical atrocity narrative) for crucifixion and see how well the joke goes lmao
Yugan-Dali@reddit
Thursday evening, someone asked Dismas and Gestas, What’re you guys going do tomorrow?
They said, I dunno, maybe hang around with that Jesus guy.
winthroprd@reddit
I'm disappointed in OP. How dairy make that joke?
Yugan-Dali@reddit
Yes, an udder disappointment.
calm-lab66@reddit
Holy cow!
SignificantPen9325@reddit
Christ on crutches.
MurseMan1964@reddit
You nailed that one
RebekkaKat1990@reddit
Why do all the women love Jesus?
Because He’s hung like this! extends arms way out in dominant T-pose formation
Marquar234@reddit
Jesus walked into a hotel with three nails and asked, "Can you put me up for the night?"
RebekkaKat1990@reddit
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
Only takes 1 nail to hang up a picture of Jesus.
FrostySquirrel820@reddit
Too soon ?-)
One_Economist_3761@reddit
Mooooving joke.
LOUDCO-HD@reddit
Christians will tell you it wasn’t a crucifixion, it was a crucifact!
eicoeico@reddit
Udderly disastrous
Feisty-Height897@reddit
Jesus walks into a hostel with three nails and says, "can you put me up for the night?"
S2Pac@reddit
Hang it in the Louvre
drinkslinger1974@reddit
I didn’t see the punchline at first, thought you left me hanging.