I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"

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RDFozz@reddit

Not sure about monkeys - but I have definitely never heard of a banana having cramps.

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"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time\_flies\_like\_an\_arrow;\_fruit\_flies\_like\_a\_banana](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_flies_like_an_arrow;_fruit_flies_like_a_banana)

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SirGreybush@reddit

You have Murphy’s Laws, then you have Cole’s Law: thinly sliced cabbage

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walkingoffthetrails@reddit

This belongs in the dad joke subreddit

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maclainanderson@reddit

The first several times I heard this joke I didn't make the fruit fly connection at all. I thought the joke was just that bananas "fly" the way a fruit does, i.e. not at all

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broodfood@reddit

It works on multiple levels

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Alexander_Delacroix@reddit

I save these kind of jokes for the elevator at the job.

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eltedioso@reddit

Jokes are to elevators as music is to elevators

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Zoilo2@reddit

The elevator at the job? It likely has a lot of ups and downs.

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nb6635@reddit

Please, oh please, ell me you work in either a banana processing plant or the primate exhibits at a zoo.

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Somebody_not_you@reddit

I love this! I prefer to change the ending to "like an apple". It's just a fun tickle to the brain.

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Electrical_Tomato_73@reddit

But fruit flies prefer a banana

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spicysubu@reddit

Paraprosdokian

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Nathan-Stubblefield@reddit

My dad said that in his youth, during the Great Depression, he once saw a Man Eating Possum.

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Bill-Ding2112@reddit

My dad called it a beaver, but I was 12

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Ajayv22@reddit

Damn that’s a big possum!

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IkariYun@reddit

Nah, normal-sized possums eat men just fine

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SorryStandard8199@reddit

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read."

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Sethrymir@reddit

I had a friend who was stationed in the Philippines decades ago and he said they used to sell monkey on a stick and this beer I think called San Miguel, which he said was brewed in such small batches that no two of them tasted the same. “I was never so happy as when I had a San Miguel and a monkey on a stick”

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hurzelschnertz@reddit

Humans absolutely do eat more bananas than monkeys and it’s not even close.

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Autumn_Ridge@reddit

It depends on the human. Native Amazonian tribes eat a lot of monkey.

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A3thereal@reddit

Bananas per individual or bananas in aggregate per specie?

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hurzelschnertz@reddit

Both, actually

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tcwillis79@reddit

RFK would like a word.

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whydya-dodat@reddit

But first… a monkey.

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justalam@reddit

Human or Women?

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Electrical_Tomato_73@reddit

It's true in a straight sense. 1. There are more humans therefore we eat more bananas 2. We cultivate bananas and ship them across the world to eat them 3. Monkeys don't actually favour wild bananas though they will eat the human variety if offered

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MinFootspace@reddit

A flea can jump higher than a house.

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James_1894@reddit

Flea can learn to play an instrument too, if you jump high enough

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MinFootspace@reddit

Might even get enraged againt some things.

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Boot_Effective@reddit

I can jump higher than a house.

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Soul-Burn@reddit

House can jump higher than a house.

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ysth@reddit

Which season? Some of the time, he couldn't jump at all.

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Soul-Burn@reddit

F me you're right 🤣

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emsesq@reddit

[Chilled monkey brains](https://i.redd.it/htofrlzldbq21.jpg)

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FourteenthCylon@reddit

The last time I ate monkey was about fifteen years ago. Monkey meat has pretty good flavor but the meat is *tough.* I recommend marinading it for about 24 hours before cooking. Watch out for shotgun pellets when chewing.

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IkariYun@reddit

I always watch out for shotgun pellets when I eat game

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Missing4Bolts@reddit

This guy bushmeats

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

r/dadjokes

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