Vending machine didn’t dispense tea… it fired ants into the cup!
Posted by filco86@reddit | talesfromtechsupport | View on Reddit | 169 comments
Got a call from a client: “Filippo, the machine isn’t dispensing tea… also we have ants around it.” I’m thinking ok, probably a valve or something simple, I’ll go check it. While I’m on the way he calls me again almost yelling: “something exploded.” I’m like… exploded?? He says he tried to get a tea and a wave of ants shot into the cup. I get there and open the machine and it was completely invaded, ants everywhere, they had gone straight into the sweet tea line and basically created a blockage inside the tube. When the machine tried to dispense, it literally fired ants into the cup. The client even tried to say it was the machine’s fault and asked me to get rid of them one by one… I told him look, ants don’t come from the machine, they come from outside. So we emptied everything, removed all the soluble products, deep cleaned the inside, placed a trap, and followed the trail to stop them at the source. Came back the next day, zero ants, completely gone. Of course we had to sanitize everything again, but yeah… definitely the first time I’ve seen a vending machine shoot ants instead of tea.
EntertainerSlow799@reddit
Tech support has to fix tea machines? With ants? I’m really glad I WFH…
derKestrel@reddit
He works in the iTea department.
filco86@reddit (OP)
Yeah… that wasn’t exactly in the job description 😅 You go there thinking it’s a simple tea issue and suddenly it turns into pest control WFH definitely has its advantages 😂
Hargan1@reddit
I don't care how well you clean it, I would never get a drink from the Ant Machine™️ again. if they let it get that bad once, you know they ain't cleaning it properly
filco86@reddit (OP)
I get why it looks bad, but this wasn’t a “dirty machine” situation. Ants don’t show up because a machine isn’t cleaned, they show up because there’s sugar and food products and they find a way in from the outside. The inside of the machine was actually clean, they just went straight to the sweet tea line and built up there. In cases like this everything gets fully emptied, cleaned and sanitized, and if needed even replaced. After that, it’s back to normal. It’s more about pest control than hygiene 👍
Qwirk@reddit
The dude you responded to probably would be shocked that insect parts fall into food supplies pretty regularly and a certain percentage is tolerated for all products.
Your comments would be enough for me to green light using this machine again, not a big deal at all.
filco86@reddit (OP)
Fair point — a certain amount of that is actually regulated and tolerated in food production, it’s more common than people think. That said, the difference is between trace levels and something that’s clearly an infestation in a specific machine. In those cases, it’s more about maintenance and hygiene than anything else.
But glad my comments helped — at the end of the day, these machines are just tools. If they’re properly maintained, there’s nothing to worry about 👍
tehhpro@reddit
AI generated reply
Spacecow_99@reddit
The whole account is AI. I don't understand how people don't realize
-MazeMaker-@reddit
Maybe some people are interested in reading translated stories from people who don't speak english 🤷♂️
option-9@reddit
This is a reminder that historically white flour and polished rice were reserved for the rich because it needs more work to make the flour non-whole-grain but it allowed easy visual inspection to detect bits of chipped millstone or perhaps crushed insect parts (to remain on topic). Mmhh, whole-grain limestone.
InsGesichtNicht@reddit
In the back of my head, I knew this already. Reading it still makes me uneasy, but I know I'm not going to care once dinner starts stinking up the apartment tonight.
__wildwing__@reddit
It’s not like corn or other grains necessarily get scrubbed with soap and water during processing.
JaschaE@reddit
FunFact: Ants are responsible for a surprising amount of internet outages, because they find a warm box that is out of the rain, start building things and sooner or later their infrastructure project collides with the human infrastructure project. Ant-Infrastructure is much more resilient to low voltage shocks than human infrastructure is against getting dirt shoved in all nooks and crannies.
georgiomoorlord@reddit
There's a fun story that the first computer bug was a moth.
AdreKiseque@reddit
There's a story of the first "actual" computer bug being a moth. The term long predates that event.
kai58@reddit
Where did the term come from then? Because I was told it came from said story
option-9@reddit
I have no idea, unfortunately, but wish to expand the roster : bugs, glitches, and gremlins all predate electronics, video games, and the 1984 hit movie respectively.
That's why Grace Hopper noted, as the previous commentator indicated with quotes, her note as she did. The first actual bug causing a bug.
JaschaE@reddit
I assume that term comes from something nasty like we are still using "stomach bug" probably highly likely for most of history to see something crawling if ehem, your system didn't work right..
On that note, apparently "Shaka Zulu" the Zulu emperor that beat the brits, translates to "Stomach bug of heaven". The Zulu being the people of heaven, Shaka being a kinda cruel nickname because his mother was sent away to relatives when her stomach swelled because of a "stomach bug" that had nothing to do with the chiefs interest in her.
JaschaE@reddit
As evidenced by the diary (including taped moth) of Admiral Grace Hopper. One of the early Computer Scientist
TheTeslaMaster@reddit
Isn't that where the term "bug" came from?
AdreKiseque@reddit
No, that's a myth. "Bug" as a term for a problem predates computers.
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
Yes.
JaschaE@reddit
It takes a distinguished palette to really appreciate but I can guarantee you that nothing starts your day like a fresh cup of ants in the morning.
TairaTLG@reddit
As someone who has the unfortunate genetic predisposition to smell ants. GAH!
Disastrous-Ice-5971@reddit
So... You are basically telling me, that I am a part of a small cohort of the human population, who can smell ants (and also ladybugs, cockroaches, flies, grasshoppers, wasps and so on)? Wow. I thought everyone can do that.
ALazy_Cat@reddit
I've never heard of anyone who could
TairaTLG@reddit
Crushed ants make the most horrible smell to me. Like, immediately nauseated. So just the thought of a billion ants blasted out a little hose. ICK! Thankfully, it's not a strong smell, I kinda have to sniff at it to smell it.
Aselleus@reddit
You might be able to rule over them and become their ant queen (or king)
The_Real_Flatmeat@reddit
Mmm, formic acid...
ALazy_Cat@reddit
Sounds like a nightmare
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
I can smell crickets and June bugs. But then I live in an area where we get invaded by both every year.
ALazy_Cat@reddit
Sounds like torture, unless it's a pleasant smell
Dgill77@reddit
It’s like sweet mixed with rank death. It’s not pleasant.
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
Ask me again when we get our annual invasion in a couple of months.
ALazy_Cat@reddit
I'll try to
Nezrite@reddit
Oddly, I only smell them when they're on or near blooming peonies...
TheRealLazloFalconi@reddit
I'll bet you've met someone who could, it's just not something that gets discussed a lot.
bmelancon@reddit
Ladybugs can produce a strong odor when they feel threatened or are squashed, much like stink bugs. I never knew some people could smell the other types of bugs though.
Belisarius-1262@reddit
Wait, you mean not everyone can smell that nasty smell from ants????
Silent_Ad_8672@reddit
I cannot smell ants, but cilantro tastes like soap to me. Also apparently some people cannot taste the bitterness of coffee, whereas I'm hypersensitive to it.
Bodies are weird.
Disastrous-Ice-5971@reddit
Apparently not.
Dougally@reddit
Ants have 6 legs and underarms. You need to teach them to use deodorANT.
castlerobber@reddit
What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on the anthill?
♫♪ Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant DEAD ant...♪♫
StorminNorman@reddit
DAAAAAAAAAAD!
DeHub94@reddit
What do they smell like?
Dgill77@reddit
A putrid musky sickly sweet smell. At least that’s what the ants here in the Pacific Northwest smell like.
TheGothWhisperer@reddit
Wait, not everyone can smell ants?! Now I know why my friend thought I was joking when I said ants in Indonesia smelled different to ant back home...
meski_oz@reddit
It's akin to the coriander gene.
JaschaE@reddit
In a slightly different, and much more terrifying world in terms of scale, all of you would have been magnificent early warning systems/hunters
filco86@reddit (OP)
Yeah, extra protein and zero sugar needed… not exactly the upgrade the client was expecting 😅
weaver_of_cloth@reddit
We've got really tiny ants around here that a lot of people call sugar ants. No clue why.
getoffmylawn100@reddit
Most little ants around us prefer sugar, and the larger ones like fat. So they're sugar ants or grease ants.
JBridsworth@reddit
It's not a 'bug', it's a feature. 😂
Stone_Reign@reddit
It's a feature and a bug!
RedHeadRaccoon13@reddit
Yabbut....isn't it actually a bug feature?
djshiva@reddit
It's not a "bug", it's a bug.
trro16p@reddit
At least the client didn't chose the extra hot ones(fire ants)!
Dougally@reddit
Spicy ants.
teapots_at_ten_paces@reddit
For health, I highly recommend green ants. These are also of the spicy variety.
gn0meCh0msky@reddit
Those are praying mantis' yah jackass. And don't eat them, you'll make baby Jesus cry.
teapots_at_ten_paces@reddit
I've done soooo many things that would make baby jesus cry. What's one more?!
Trinitykill@reddit
"Lot of caffeine in this drink, I'm feeling really antsy".
VanquishedVoid@reddit
That's sugar ants for you! Completely skip the need for regular sugar!
cybersaurus@reddit
Did they have to antea up?
Marmot418@reddit
r/angryupvote
Grolschisgood@reddit
I once had an ant invasion. I boiled the kettle for my morning coffee, poured it in, stirred it up and saw all these little black specs. On closer inspection it was ants! Thousands and thousands had crawled intonthe kettle for fuck knows why and spoiled my morning drink. I was fuming!
KidDelicious14@reddit
What a horrible way to go though, goddamn.
paulcaar@reddit
Not as much as those ants
AllanBz@reddit
This happened to my aunt when she was serving tea to guests. She was mortified.
fizzlefist@reddit
To be fair, they all died for their sins against you.
option-9@reddit
So were they.
filco86@reddit (OP)
That’s absolutely brutal… waking up and getting that as your “morning coffee” is a nightmare 😅 Once ants find a heat source or even just a bit of moisture, they’ll go in by the thousands — it’s crazy how fast they can take over something like a kettle. Safe to say that coffee didn’t wake you up gently that day… it probably shocked you awake instead.
Arnkh@reddit
I once had my morning coffee ruined by a cockroach who drowned himself in the cream pack, and slopped into my cup as a fat, lazy, last drop.
Geminii27@reddit
They were just making sure you had your daily dose of anti-bodies.
frodosmumm@reddit
I have heard they have a peppery taste from the formic acid. lol
kwilsonmg@reddit
I see an Anteater has entered the chat.
Rathmun@reddit
While I agree that nothing else starts the day like a cup of ants... That only means it's unique, not that it's desirable.
Though I'm sure you could get a hipster to wax poetic about how good it is and no one else understands.
bobk2@reddit
The ants are my friends.
Are blowing in the wind,
The ants are/is blowing in the wind.
--Bob Dylant
JaschaE@reddit
As I said, very refined palette to really appreciate. And miles better than some poor captive jungle cat shitting in your cup.
SpellCheck19@reddit
*palate. A palette is what a painter uses.
Rathmun@reddit
To be honest, I'd much prefer to appreciate a cup of ants with a palette than a palate.
JaschaE@reddit
Ah, sorry, second language here...
FauxReal@reddit
Some ants are really good. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeypot_ant
AllanBz@reddit
It’s all the formic acid, a tang of acidity, a hint of acridity.
bob152637485@reddit
Though, to be fair, could it actually taste pleasant in the right scenario? I've had cooked grasshoppers(or crickets, can't remember)before, and they were actually rather tasty. Exactly like the husk of a peanut flavor wise.
If the ants were cooked, ground up, and maybe mixed in with the grounds(not loose floating around), I could see them maybe adding a sort of nutty flavor to the coffee, similar to chicory.
Malashae@reddit
We have finally found the secret anteater
Auntie_Aoife@reddit
The best part of waking up, is soldier (ants) in your cup!
Faiths_got_fangs@reddit
I guarantee a cup of ants will wake you right up
PTBAFC24601@reddit
“🎶The best part of waking up…is ants in your cup🎶!”
DresdenPI@reddit
Ants are definitely an acquired taste. Luckily acquiring them is just a matter of a bit of spilt soda.
FredB123@reddit
With their peppery taste and crunchy texture, they really are this season's way to start the day.
AdreKiseque@reddit
I'm partial to a cup of spiders myself
Okora66@reddit
A brimming glass, even?
JagadJyota@reddit
But I'm trying to cut down.
squirreloak@reddit
Palate
TararaBoomDA@reddit
It's all that formic acid.
Putrid_Promotion_841@reddit
Can't help but think of the blue Anteater from Pink Panther!
trro16p@reddit
I picture this guy....
The Ant and the Ardvaark
Putrid_Promotion_841@reddit
That's him!
boli99@reddit
Breakfast Ants
Brants.
Nonproductivehuman@reddit
Couldn't you change the label for that selection from 'sweet tea' to 'ants'?
pkinetics@reddit
AntTea
Camera_dude@reddit
The day I'm forced to deal with vending machines on top of desktop PC and servers, I'm trading in my company badge and becoming a moisture farmer deep in the Sahara desert.
When did IT become "if it has a power plug, it's IT"?
crystalgem411@reddit
Mmmm formic acid
Frazzledragon@reddit
That is amazing, and I don't say so lightly.
A cup of ~~spiders~~ ants.
Puzzleheaded-Joke-97@reddit
It was when I rapped that link that I realized I have definitely spent too much time on Reddit this morning! 😵💫
filco86@reddit (OP)
Yeah… limited edition: tea, sugar… and whatever else decides to move in 😅
deeseearr@reddit
Ants. Earl Grey. Hot.
koohikoo@reddit
There are Ants in that nebula!
dustojnikhummer@reddit
-- Kanthryn Janeway
deeppanalbumparty_@reddit
"I give you five points for making an ant joke but you lose five points for falsely attributing the quote to the wrong person. thumbs up There you go, thanks for playing, better luck next time." -funk, possibly.
dustojnikhummer@reddit
But Janeway did say "There is Coffee in that nebula", in like Episode 4 of Season 1or something, when they realized they are running out of power so replicators were rationed.
Jasong222@reddit
It's a special antnomily
calley479@reddit
I had a jacuzzi tub shoot out ants once.
My wife liked to turn the lights low and have a nice relaxing soak in the tub. Then she turned the jacuzzi jets on… and a few minutes later the screaming started. I came running to see what was wrong and it was hard not to laugh. Thousands of ants floating in the water.
We had ants invade our house a lot since it was in a rural area… we were used to it. Apparently ants really like dry hollow areas. One time they made a nest inside the toilet lid (the old design ceramic ones are usually hollow).
Didn’t expect the jacuzzi tub though. We showered in that tub daily, but I think it had been a long time since she had filled it for a bath.
I dont think she ever used the tub after that incident. Though we did move a few years later.
Stellapacifica@reddit
Tangentially related, I once left an open can of arizona on my windowsill overnight. Took a nice big swig of ants first thing in the morning, ruined my whole day.
Rubik842@reddit
That line about the ants coming from outside reminds me of one I had.
I had repeated tickets on an evacuation PA speaker in a toilet. Water was dripping out of it.I resorted to hanging an information tag off it: "Please stop raising tickets about the leak on the speaker's tag number because I am absolutely sure the water is not generated by the speaker or the amplifier. I have checked several times. Stop calling me, Call a fucking plumber. AFTER the water has stopped THEN call me and I will install a new non-rusty one. Have you called the plumber yet?"
Lellela@reddit
Well, that'll certainly wake you up in the morning...
Turbojelly@reddit
"He found a Nutri-Matic machine, which had provided him a plastic cup filled with a liquid thst was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea." - Douglas Adams.
genums@reddit
That is not a job for tech support.
kjtstl@reddit
What kind oof rich fat cat complains about free protein???
Nox_Stripes@reddit
You know, the one coworker thats just an anteater in disguise is probably terribly disappointed by this development.
MasterClown@reddit
Maybe the firmware that runs the machine had a bug in it?
filco86@reddit (OP)
Yeah… firmware bug: new “protein mode” activated automatically 😅
d1ng0d4n@reddit
As former tech support, now pest controller, I can affirm that we'd only bait the hell out of it to kill off the colony. Cleanup is still on, well, usually maintenance staff. Not support 😅
filco86@reddit (OP)
Yeah exactly, once they get in it’s more a pest control job than a vending one 😅 We handled the cleanup and sanitizing on our side, but stopping them at the source was the real fix
Geminii27@reddit
It was a health machine. Dispensing ant-tea-bodies.
filco86@reddit (OP)
Yeah, high protein tea… not exactly what was on the menu 😅
filco86@reddit (OP)
😂 bella questa, rilancia così:
⸻
Yeah, high protein tea… not exactly what was on the menu 😅
sexyflying@reddit
r/angryupvote
harrywwc@reddit
here, take my poor man's 'gold' — 🥇
DaNoahLP@reddit
You want to get ants? Because thats exactly how you get ants!
filco86@reddit (OP)
Yeah… turns out the machine figured it out before we did 😅
radraze2kx@reddit
What's the problem? Just get a vending machine that dispenses ant eaters, duh.
VenomBasilisk@reddit
When I was at Dollywood, bees were swarming the drink machines. They were trying to do what those ants did. It makes sense, they are both hymenoptera.
tazerwhip@reddit
So, it was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
Jukingbox@reddit
wdym your tea doesn't have legs?
mechanical_marten@reddit
Must have come from Omega Mart
skawn@reddit
Sounds like the kind of absurdity that I wish I could watch on video.
Background_Future656@reddit
Remind me of the time first thing in the morning, very sleepy, pouring Cheerios into my bowl and then milk. Big spoonful as I bring it to my mouth. I’m sleepily wondering why are my Cheerios moving? Crap, ants all over my Cheerios box. Now I keep all of my opened cereal in sealed Tupperware
roopjm81@reddit
The best part of waking up is...
HOLY FUCK ARE THOSE ANTS? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
lamblikeawolf@reddit
[You're my presANT this year.](https://i.imgur.com/DVAS1My.png)
zeus204013@reddit
Actually ants, cockroaches and mice are attracted to some foods/substances. You can clean but is always needed to block the access to the machine.
The same occurs with bears and some places with some sweet stuff...
yetzt@reddit
somehwere out there is someone very confused, with unexplainable tea in an ant-dispenser
Pleasant_Expert2258@reddit
We had an ant infestation in our RV. Took us a while to find where they got in. We looked at the outside and there were hundreds climbing up the power cord, through the outside plug to the inside.
MacTechG4@reddit
Sirius Cybernetics Advanced Ant Substitute! Share and Enjoy!
LiveLongAndProspurr@reddit
The best part of waking up is formics in your cup.
albaiesh@reddit
Yep, that's new.
the-lady-roxi@reddit
Should have joined me at my last job. We had room temperature ant water from the water fountain.
Nothing like taking a refreshing sip (not really) and feel the water moving in your mouth. YECH!
filco86@reddit (OP)
That’s a level of “refreshing” I’m not sure anyone’s ready for 😅 Once you’ve had “moving water,” you really appreciate how much difference proper maintenance makes… whether it’s a fountain or a vending machine. Safe to say that’s one experience nobody wants to repeat!
filco86@reddit (OP)
That’s a level of “refreshing” I’m not sure anyone’s ready for 😅 Once you’ve had “moving water,” you really appreciate how much difference proper maintenance makes… whether it’s a fountain or a vending machine. Safe to say that’s one experience nobody wants to repeat!
BellaSquared@reddit
Somewhere on the planet, someone probably thinks ant dispensing machines are a good idea.
filco86@reddit (OP)
Honestly, somewhere out there someone is probably prototyping it as a “natural protein source” 😅 At this point, nothing surprises me anymore — if it exists, someone has tried to monetize it.
storybookdreaming@reddit
One time, when I was very young, around 4 years old, I went into the pantry and there were 2 bottles of pancake syrup (the fake kind). One was infested with ants and one hadn't been opened yet. I decided to drink the ant infested one. To this day I have no idea why lol
Acrobatic-Mobile-605@reddit
Caramelised ants are probably a delicacy somewhere.
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
I've had chocolate covered ants. They are rather crunchy with an odd nutty type flavor.
My mom was stationed in Japan at one point, made a few friends, and had one of them send her a box from the base store. (It was actually cheaper to ship from base to base rather than through USPS).
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
At 4, anything weird sounds like a good idea.
muninn99@reddit
And this is why I joined reddit. Well done. :-)
filco86@reddit (OP)
Haha, glad you found your people 😄 The ant-vending machine saga is one for the books — only on Reddit, right?
Tattycakes@reddit
What is this, a vending machine for ants?
filco86@reddit (OP)
Right?! At this point I’m starting to wonder if the ants had a secret subscription plan 😅 Nature’s own vending system, no maintenance required… except for the occasional caffeine crash.
HaplessReader1988@reddit
I thought i was on r/somnigastronomy. Because this is nightmarish!
filco86@reddit (OP)
Haha, honestly it does feel like something straight out of a nightmare 😅 Between ants and vending machines, you never know what kind of “extra ingredients” you might end up with…
Euphoric-Series-1194@reddit
A vending machine shooting ants sounds awful. I can only imagine the client's face when the insects shot into the cup.
We had a similarly overpowered coffee machine at an old job. The hot cocoa nozzle dispensed with extremely high pressure. If you didn't physically hold your plastic cup down when you pressed the button, the initial burst of boiling cocoa would tip the cup over and spray sticky chocolate water all over the counter.
By the way, your story is incredibly bizarre. I am actually developing a horror/comedy game called I.T Never Ends about cursed tech support tickets. It even has a sentient coffee machine you can befriend. Would you mind if I adapted your ant-dispenser experience into a ticket for the game?
TzGaming@reddit
Just wishlisted the game a few days ago, and this is a fantastic ticket idea.
Euphoric-Series-1194@reddit
I know! I was literally just drawing and animating the coffee machine a few days ago and when I saw the title of this post pop up on my reddit app I was like damn!
filco86@reddit (OP)
Haha, that cocoa nozzle story sounds terrifying too 😅 — sticky chocolate everywhere is no joke! Go ahead and use the ant-dispenser story in your game, that’s hilarious. Love the idea of cursed tech support tickets and a sentient coffee machine — sounds like my kind of horror/comedy. Can’t wait to see how it turns out!
Rustymarble@reddit
There's a type of ant that stays dormant for years, then invades and just like dies where it is. I have no idea. But one day we suddenly had an ant problem. They ate through the wires in the washing machine, ate holes in clothes, invaded the pantry. It was crazy! And then they were just gone. Months go by and my sister goes to make a hot chocolate. Pours the powder into her mug, fills with hot water, and then goes to drink. She thought it was a special type with dehydrated marshmallows that were defective..... nope! Dead ants, in the hot chocolate!
filco86@reddit (OP)
That’s wild… and honestly a bit terrifying 😅
Nature is crazy — sometimes you think everything is gone and then it comes back in the most unexpected way.
I’ve seen similar situations around vending machines, especially when there’s something sugary involved… they’ll find their way in no matter how well you clean it.
But finding them in a hot chocolate… that’s next level. I hope she didn’t drink that last sip 😅