TheaterFire

If a king sleeps on a king mattress, and a queen sleeps on a queen mattress, what does a prince sleep on?

Posted by gmthisfeller@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 99 comments

An heir mattress.

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99 Comments

genfgenf@reddit

As long as the prince sleeps on something, he will be fine. They say size doesn't matter.
View on Reddit #78692253

seethruyou@reddit

"I have a king size bed. I don’t know any kings. But if one came over I would say “You won’t believe what I have for you! I could probably set up your old lady too.“" Also Mitch
View on Reddit #78201042

Affectionate-Row3793@reddit

lol! liked both RIP Mitch jokes. Thanks!
View on Reddit #78418966

erremermberderrnit@reddit

It's to your exact specifications
View on Reddit #78254607

Chrome2Surfer@reddit

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof
View on Reddit #78186502

Affectionate-Row3793@reddit

Thank god she didn't go through the roof! lol!
View on Reddit #78418597

redbeard387@reddit

They used to be called Jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one back in 1976.
View on Reddit #78187176

SaintCholo@reddit

LOL, he said yo mama so fat when she goes camping, BEARS hide their food!
View on Reddit #78206018

Affectionate-Row3793@reddit

Good one!
View on Reddit #78208802

Fickles1@reddit

Love a good yo mumma joke
View on Reddit #78212663

LifeExit4353@reddit

Your mama so fat she carrys pesos in one pocket and yen in the other
View on Reddit #78229910

Ceemer@reddit

Yo mama so dumb, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
View on Reddit #78265251

Terry_Cruz@reddit

Yo mama so fat, her lower half gets frostbite in the middle of summer.
View on Reddit #78285781

Affectionate-Row3793@reddit

Lol! Upvote!
View on Reddit #78368733

jpopimpin777@reddit

Yo Mama's so fat the guys at the strip club call her Hitler, on account of all the damage she did to the poles.
View on Reddit #78214749

Castle_of_Jade@reddit

What the fuck. Hahahahahaha
View on Reddit #78215157

zamfire@reddit

Yo mamma so ugly, her blowjobs count as anal
View on Reddit #78216617

Terry_Cruz@reddit

Yo mamma so dumb, she thinks income tax means she has to collect semen for the IRS.
View on Reddit #78220196

Original-Age-4720@reddit

Yo mama so dumb, she thought Pokemon was a Jamaican porno.
View on Reddit #78363558

ferniekid@reddit

Yo mama’s so fat, her belt size is equator
View on Reddit #78278252

Terry_Cruz@reddit

Yo mama's so fat, she had to add another notch in the Kuiper belt.
View on Reddit #78285474

SaintCholo@reddit

Like the telephone company, always driving poles to the ground.
View on Reddit #78262551

Vintage_Zoo@reddit

Literally started laughing a second before I took a drink! So glad my eyes were faster than my hand!
View on Reddit #78219452

eltedioso@reddit

I don’t get it
View on Reddit #78187955

Aviator07@reddit

OP’s mom is a tramp.
View on Reddit #78190017

eltedioso@reddit

Like Charlie Chaplin? Or like the dog in the spaghetti movie?
View on Reddit #78190166

MaterialParsley7536@reddit

More like a cargo steamer from days gone by.
View on Reddit #78193380

eltedioso@reddit

Oh, right! now I get it
View on Reddit #78193523

MaterialParsley7536@reddit

Be honest. Did you think I meant Cleveland Steamer?
View on Reddit #78194107

eltedioso@reddit

I assume that's some sort of diner sandwich, and yes.
View on Reddit #78194600

Pkrudeboy@reddit

More of a taco.
View on Reddit #78241267

NuncioBitis@reddit

Oh wow - you've got a surprise coming!
View on Reddit #78197632

Malalang@reddit

I've got Stanley Steamer coming.
View on Reddit #78213179

Ok_Discussion6529@reddit

Isn't that a football team
View on Reddit #78207637

LegalShooter@reddit

No, but I t does describe the Cleveland football team.
View on Reddit #78210601

CrustySailor1964@reddit

Had to google that one. After all these years I never knew it had a name.😂🥴
View on Reddit #78199207

MaterialParsley7536@reddit

Cargo steamer or Cleveland Steamer?
View on Reddit #78201821

AmazingGrace911@reddit

No she stamped it
View on Reddit #78211520

DerbyDad03@reddit

She's the lady Frank sings about.
View on Reddit #78213172

eltedioso@reddit

Zappa?
View on Reddit #78213997

DerbyDad03@reddit

Nope, but Dweezle helped out on Lisa Loeb's cover of Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves, so there's that.
View on Reddit #78214807

1009naturelover@reddit

Probably has the stamp to prove it
View on Reddit #78215836

Adorable_Past9114@reddit

Yo momma does
View on Reddit #78225089

eltedioso@reddit

You know my mother?
View on Reddit #78226557

Adorable_Past9114@reddit

Everyone knows your momma
View on Reddit #78226778

eltedioso@reddit

That's shocking to me! she doesn't really seem to have any sort of social life at all
View on Reddit #78227243

Chrome2Surfer@reddit

He doesn't either
View on Reddit #78188769

LostBetsRed@reddit

Ugh. Can we please, please lay off the yo mama jokes? They're old, they're tired, and they've been done by just about everybody. >!Just like yo mama.!<
View on Reddit #78232424

Saelethil@reddit

My wife found out I replaced our bed with a rocket ship. She was over the moon!
View on Reddit #78334458

PumpikAnt58763@reddit

I love Reddit. Where else can you see something devolve into Yo Mama jokes?
View on Reddit #78273575

StevieWondersGoodEye@reddit

She found out that there are better places to be hopping mad.
View on Reddit #78186850

Hattix@reddit

Epstein island.
View on Reddit #78387932

AntifaMiddleMgmt@reddit

If European history is to be followed, his sister...
View on Reddit #78352471

Original-Character28@reddit

Jeffrey Epsteins couch?
View on Reddit #78229057

Over_Gas_4867@reddit

Is that where Vance got his couch??
View on Reddit #78326272

GibsonBluesGuy@reddit

Epstein’s Island
View on Reddit #78265815

kitbuoy@reddit

Underage girls
View on Reddit #78223237

Floyd_Pink@reddit

Yup. Totally thought this was gonna be the punchline.
View on Reddit #78257685

RobertIsAPlant@reddit

Empires are ruled buy emperors, kingdoms are ruled by kings... And out country...
View on Reddit #78242027

Falcoln1342@reddit

Or a twin bed if he has a brother born with him
View on Reddit #78241061

Ibrahim-08@reddit

Whatever his parents approve of 😂😂
View on Reddit #78239895

ChickenXing@reddit

Little red Corvette bed
View on Reddit #78237750

TheDevilsAdvokaat@reddit

Epstein accusations too.
View on Reddit #78235078

finder_outer@reddit

Or maybe a spare mattress.
View on Reddit #78234985

leftblue@reddit

Epstiens island FIFY
View on Reddit #78231273

Shellrant42day@reddit

A princess 🤔
View on Reddit #78225443

RevengeBedtimeProcra@reddit

Reminds me of when Prince Charles was asked: [Do you have a King size bed?](https://youtu.be/h1TgavRjPXE?si=sUcOYSUOUspb6eze&t=124)
View on Reddit #78221769

mouringcat@reddit

And does a princess sleep on a peaed mattress?
View on Reddit #78201353

PachecoJunior@reddit

Bette than a peed one
View on Reddit #78221645

Kurkikohtaus@reddit

His cousin.
View on Reddit #78220966

Ecstatic-BiPt8645@reddit

An underage matrass?
View on Reddit #78218799

TedMich23@reddit

Fentanyl? Too soon?
View on Reddit #78217983

-B-H-@reddit

If two people having sex is a twosome, and three people having sex is a threesome..... I think I know why my mom called me handsome.
View on Reddit #78217029

charonco@reddit

I thought it was going to be Epstein Island
View on Reddit #78215536

kevinlc1971@reddit

A princess?
View on Reddit #78214019

rickie-ramjet@reddit

Purple mattress?
View on Reddit #78213181

Dawgs6485@reddit

This is better than I thought it would be. My first thought was "Propofol"(Drug that Prince overdosed). Then I thought it might be "Epstein's Island". Im glad I was wrong.
View on Reddit #78212550

Hurtkopain@reddit

at an heir bnb
View on Reddit #78210392

multicultidude@reddit

Probably an Epstein mattress…
View on Reddit #78209222

Acceptable_Sleep_527@reddit

A toddler bed
View on Reddit #78208644

rdev009@reddit

It depends on which island he’s visiting.
View on Reddit #78205943

OnlySaysInsults@reddit

prince mattress
View on Reddit #78205620

Skrynesaver@reddit

The ravaged bodies of children, if the files are to be believed
View on Reddit #78203672

cyokohama@reddit

Vanity
View on Reddit #78201994

Waitsfornoone@reddit

Whomever he can.
View on Reddit #78201793

clarkgablesball-bag@reddit

A child
View on Reddit #78201738

seethruyou@reddit

"When I was a kid, I would lie in my twin size bed and wonder where my brother was. " RIP Mitch
View on Reddit #78200868

a_casual_observer@reddit

Begrudging upvote.
View on Reddit #78199163

gmthisfeller@reddit (OP)

Equally begrudging.
View on Reddit #78199671

Dashover@reddit

My dog Prince sleeps in his cage
View on Reddit #78199240

bmxxtc@reddit

i'd say on prince ass.
View on Reddit #78187819

NuncioBitis@reddit

eew you mean incest?
View on Reddit #78197725

Deitaphobia@reddit

Purple Mattress
View on Reddit #78190106

NuncioBitis@reddit

this one's good too!!!
View on Reddit #78197701

Immediate_Analyst806@reddit

Yowza
View on Reddit #78197291

weekedipie1@reddit

whatever epstein gives him
View on Reddit #78186761

gmthisfeller@reddit (OP)

Yup. There’s a Prince in the files.
View on Reddit #78194186

Chaotic424242@reddit

It seems that, in some case(s), the answer may be *underage girls*...
View on Reddit #78191912

fairyKawaiis@reddit

Damn, that's a solid dad joke. Prince sleeping on an heir mattress is peak wordplay
View on Reddit #78189763