A man wakes up hungover, with no memory of coming home.

Posted by MarkHirsbrunner@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 184 comments

He realizes he's fully clothed in bed. He sees one of the lamps on a bedside table is broken, and he smells like he was sick on himself. He sits up and sees muddy tracks leading to his bed. The man groans and holds his head, knowing he's going to be in big trouble with his wife. She then enters the bedroom with a glass of water and some aspirin. "Here sweetie, you probably need this" she says, handing out to him. "Sounds like you had a fun night. When you feel like it, I have your favorite breakfast in the kitchen, you can lay back down and I'll bring it to you in bed I had my mom pick up the kids so you can have some peace and quiet, and after you clean up and feel better, I was thinking we could fool around and I'll do that thing for you that you like." The man is baffled that she is being so nice to him. Suspicious, he asks what happened last night "Around 2 AM I was woke up by you trying to unlock the door. I let you in and you staggered right past me and collapsed in the bed after knocking over the lamp" she says. "I was mad but I figured I should try to undress you. Then you yelled at me." "I'm so sorry honey, what did I say?" "Get your hands off of me lady, I'm married."