A horse walks into a bar...

He walks up to the bartender and says "Hey, no long face jokes. You wouldn't believe the day I've had. First, I spend ten hours at work today just typing numbers into a computer. It was so busy, I didn't even have a chance to take my lunch. "I get home, and as soon as I walk in, my wife tells me that she's leaving me and taking the kids. Then she just walks out. I'm standing there, stunned, when my boss calls and tells me that he's the guy my wife is leaving me for. And because of that, I'm fired. "I'm just furious right then and decide to go for a drive to cool down. I get a few miles down the road and a cop pulls me over for going two miles over the speed limit. $300. Can you believe that? "So I'm just sitting there in my car pondering this awful day when a truck comes along and sideswipes my car and just speeds off without even stopping. On top of that, the airbag slammed into my phone and broke the screen, so I can't even call for a tow truck. "I start walking the five miles into town to find a garage, and, not ten minutes in, it starts pouring rain. By the time I get into town, I'm completely soaked and decide 'Fuck the garage, I just need a drink'. And so that's why I'm here. So gimme a shot and a draft and keep 'em coming please." To which the bartender replies "Holy shit, a talking horse!"