Help! Post your best/worst "Your Mom" jokes here, please!
Posted by Southern_Gur_4736@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 141 comments
A friend of mine collects these, ever since she saw White Girls. I'd love to guve her more, so please post what you have. I will start:
Your mother is such an ugly whore that all she costs is your self-respect.
Your mother only loves you because of child support payments.
Your mother is so fat, you can only take a body pic from a satellite.
Ivesleptsincethen@reddit
Your mom is so fat that she wore yellow one day and my autistic 3 year old yelled “school bus”!
Normal-Ear-5757@reddit
Your mum's a your mum joke
xXAcidBathVampireXx@reddit
Yo momma so ugly, her blowjobs count as anal.
sexy-geek@reddit
Beautiful
Nolongeranalpha@reddit
Yo momma so ugly she looked in a mirror and the reflection ducked.
Chichibebewey@reddit
Lol this is so dumb… I had a good laugh.
xXAcidBathVampireXx@reddit
Yo momma so fat, I ran out of gas trying to see her good side.
UnableLocal2918@reddit
Yo momma so stank she uses a skunk as deoderent spray.
Yo momma so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around her neck so the dog would play with her.
Yeah but at least that trick worked for my momma unlike yours.
MissingXpert@reddit
your mom is dragging catapults through mordor...
DannyMeatlegs@reddit
What's the difference between a joke and 3 dicks? Yo mama can't take a joke.
ldunord@reddit
Your mama so slow it took 9 months for her to deliver a joke
Patient_Diet_6540@reddit
Your mom is so dumb she was scared to go to a spelling bee because she thought she was going to get stung
Major-Concentrate958@reddit
Yo momma is so fat that she falls off the bed from both sides simultaneously.
Yo mamma is so ugly she’s member of the Finnish band Lordi, without wearing any costume.
Yo momma is so dumb she throws lemons on the ground and yells „Go, Pickacchu!“
gamingwflex@reddit
Yo mama so fat god wonders why he made the earth
tech_creative@reddit
Your mother sweats while taking a shit and pulled trucks on MTV.
grax23@reddit
Your mom is so fat that when she hauls ass she has to go twice
tratemusic@reddit
Fantastic haha
Desperado2583@reddit
This one is NSFA (not safe for anywhere) for several reasons, but it's still my favorite. Don't judge.
Your momma's so old
You were warned.
garrettj100@reddit
I can’t believe we’re still doing these stupid “yo mamma” jokes. They’re all old, tired, and at this point, everyone’s had a turn.
Just like yo mamma.
garrettj100@reddit
Your momma was so fat that when she died they cancelled all the flights in Europe.
Golden-Sun@reddit
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family.
Yo momma so fat she makes Moby Dick look like a Tic-Tac
_robmillion_@reddit
Your mom's so fat, they kicked her out of the plus-size store and sent her to the times-size store!
Confused_Stu@reddit
Your Mom's so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 gigabytes.
FIRE-trash@reddit
If she lost weight, would she be exFAT?
PLCGuy65@reddit
No comments on this one?!?!?
zonazog@reddit
OK. I’ll byte.
cyborg_type_darkness@reddit
Yo mama so fat, she has to buy two plane tickets to get inside.
Lava_Wolf_68@reddit
Yo mama so fat, she uses the highway as a slip and slide.
TanaFey@reddit
You momma so fat she sat on a rainbow and Skittles came out.
Life_forged@reddit
Yo mama so ugly even her dildo goes limp
CommissionLimp3833@reddit
Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread to her
machinepoo@reddit
https://jabde.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Yo-Mamas-Mass-2.pdf
yirzmstrebor@reddit
Yo mama so fat, her shadow weighs ten pounds!
Valuable-Paramedic93@reddit
Yo mama so fat when she enters the ocean in California, they have tsunami's in Japan
So.fat she needs to bathe in Hoover dam
So dumb she dials 911 on the microwave
So dumb she puts correction ink on the laptop screen
Brooker2@reddit
Yo mommas so fat, when she sat on a quarter a booger popped out of George Washington's nose
EnormousPurpleGarden@reddit
Your mom is like a vacuum cleaner in that she sucks, blows, and gets laid in closets.
Granny_knows_best@reddit
Your mom is so fat she has to take two trips. I think there was more to the joke but I hear it 40 years ago.
EnormousPurpleGarden@reddit
I think the joke is about taking two trips to haul ass.
hooldon@reddit
Yo momma so cheap, she caught Covid18
DirtyDuckman53@reddit
Your mama so stupid she stayed up all night studying to take a blood test
Groobear@reddit
Your momma so fat when she took a selfie it said out of memory.
whalemango@reddit
Yo momma so fat, they had to get Moses in to part her Red Sea just to give her a gynecological exam.
Leading_Swing8794@reddit
You're momma so fat, when there's a full moon, she turns into a warehouse
headlesssamurai@reddit
This one made me laugh out loud
Leading_Swing8794@reddit
It's long been one of my favorites. Glad I could be of service
dkesh@reddit
Just like yo.momma
Chichibebewey@reddit
Ha! Stoopid. I love it.
whalemango@reddit
Your momma's so fat she's not allowed to travel to Egypt. Because the last time she was there she spread her legs and they thought Moses was parting the Red Sea again.
Doombah@reddit
Yo momma's so fat that after sex, she smokes a ham.
Yo momma's so fat that she uses a VCR as a beeper. A bit dated, of course, but a classic.
Yo momma's so fat that when she hauls ass, it's two trips.
Yo momma's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles, cars slow down.
Yo momma's armpit hair is so long it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
Yo momma's so fat, she plays Hopscotch like this "LA, Vegas, Houston...".
Williedzee@reddit
You're mama's teeth are so yellow she drinks milk and spits out Yoo-hoo!
fartymarty42@reddit
You mama’s teeth are so yellow, I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter
franksymptoms@reddit
Yo' mama so ugly Bill Cosby gave her a Red Bull!
Brrringsaythealiens@reddit
Holy shit that one got me. Fucking savage.
intrepidagent4444@reddit
Your mom is so big that when she sits around the house…she sits AROUND the house.
FlavMink@reddit
Yo mama so fat after I finished having sex with her I rolled over twice and was still on top of her.
ToastedSlider@reddit
Yo mama's afro is so big, when she got in my car it instantly looked like it had tinted windows.
surdtmash@reddit
Yo mama so fat her body waxing bill includes a taxi fare to get to the other side.
FairyGodmothersUnion@reddit
Yo mama so old, her social security number is 1.
Stadaday@reddit
https://youtu.be/XwaAgY7A_JA?si=hCwMdkdPGeIMfmKA
Tinadazed@reddit
Your Moma is so dumb , she held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot.
Liquid_disc_of_shit@reddit
Yo momma so ugly even her dildos go flaccid
Creepy-Winter-4244@reddit
yo momma so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention
Liquid_disc_of_shit@reddit
I feel like I should hug my momma after reading that one
XANDERtheSHEEPDOG@reddit
Fucking brutal!😂😂
CptSoap989@reddit
Holy fuck 🤣🤣🤔🤣
aim4theface@reddit
Your momma smells so bad, that when she goes to the beach, cats try to bury her!
InterruptingCow__Moo@reddit
Yo mama is so fat, she got on a scale and it said "to be continued"
aim4theface@reddit
How to fuck your mom! Find the crease that smells like shit and go one back!
InterruptingCow__Moo@reddit
Yo mama's so fat, she can only play Seek
Informal_Stress_9953@reddit
You momma so fat, she walked across the room and my MP3 skipped.
Informal_Stress_9953@reddit
Yo momma so old her social security number is six.
Informal_Stress_9953@reddit
You momma such a hope, she got five kids by eight daddies.
EruditeLegume@reddit
Tonight, I’m off to the orphanage to tell 'yo mama' jokes.
Yo mama so dumb - she call the gym 'James'.
Yo mama so fat - when she skip a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama so fat - when she fall out o' bed she fall out o' both sides.
Yo mama so fat - she got 8 other fat mamas orbiting around her.
Yo mama so fat - even her car got stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat - I picture her in my head and my neck broke.
Yo mama so fat - her blood type is gravy.
Yo mama so fat - she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat - when she haul' ass, she got to make two trips.
Yo mama so fat - she jumped an' got stuck.
Yo mama so fat - done a three-way an' I never even seen the other guy.
Yo mama so fat - her weight an' her credit card numbers match.
Yo mama so fat - I'd talk behind her back...but I only got half a tank of gas.
BinBender@reddit
Yo mama so stupid, she spent two hours in the store to buy a carton of orange juice, because on the carton, it said concentrate.
BinBender@reddit
Yo mama so fat, she passed in front of the TV, and I missed the entire season of Friends*.
^When I learned this joke, Friends was still a popular show. Update may be required.
sexy-geek@reddit
Yo momma's so fat, when she passed in front of the tv, I missed 17 episodes...
Yo momma's so fat, she has 3 zip codes.
Yo momma's so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Yo momma's so fat, when she had a threesome the two guys never met each other.
Dirtywoody@reddit
I detest these as not funny or clever.
Schweenis69@reddit
Your mom's so fat, she walked in front of the TV and I missed three episodes
OnePointSixOne9@reddit
Yo mama’s so ugly, your daddy gets morning wouldn’t.
Auran82@reddit
Yo mumma jokes are old and done by literally everyone.
Kinda like yo mumma.
Nwsamurai@reddit
Let's get off Yo Mama jokes, like I just got off Yo Mama.
xXAcidBathVampireXx@reddit
Yo momma so fat, she sat on a quarter snd squeezed a booger out of Washington's nose.
Nwsamurai@reddit
Wish I had that one back on the playground.
modern-prometheus@reddit
Your momma’s so fat she bought a hula hoop and it fit.
The-Joon@reddit
Yo mama so fat, the back of her neck looks like a giant pack of hot dogs.
Nwsamurai@reddit
Yo Mama so fat, she doesn't have curves, she has curve.
Yo Mama so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo Mama so fat, she went to the beach and the tide came in.
Yo Mama so fat, when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion says, "I'LL COME TO YOU!!!"
The-Joon@reddit
Yo mama so nasty, her mouth doubles as the night deposit at the sperm bank.
Insanebrain247@reddit
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought you were worth keeping!
Nolongeranalpha@reddit
Yo momma so ugly I used her photo to make Chuck Norris flinch.
Nolongeranalpha@reddit
Yo momma so fat her picture bent the nail on the wall.
Ok-Bicycle8103@reddit
Yo mama so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone
mrshakeshaft@reddit
They call your mum the grand old Duke of York. Because she’s had 10,000 men
Lietenantdan@reddit
Yo momma so fat, it's always high tide when she goes to the beach.
mackmackenzie@reddit
Yo momma so fat she uses diet soap.
humperty@reddit
Your momma's ass so big, the whole army and navy couldn't find her until they stepped outside.
Gil-Gandel@reddit
Your momma so nasty, her memory foam mattress drinks to forget.
gthrees@reddit
Your mama is so smart that all she does is scroll Reddit jokes all day
scott_in_ga@reddit
Yo mama is so poor, one day she was walking down the street with one shoe on and ppl shouted to her, "hey, you lost a shoe!" And she replied, "No, I FOUND one!"
scott_in_ga@reddit
Yo mama is so short, you can see her feet in her driver's license photo!
iamanerdybastard@reddit
My mom. Period. End of sentence. She's just a fucking joke.
FiestyEagle@reddit
Ouch. Need therapy?
iamanerdybastard@reddit
Yes, yes she does.
well-of-wisdom@reddit
Yo mama is so fat Chuck Norris couldn't lift her.
SnooMemesjellies7469@reddit
Yo momma so fat and smelly, she uses the whole state of New Jersey as deodorant.
averagejoe860@reddit
Yo mama so stupid, she though Tupac Shakkur was a Jewish holiday
Significant_You9481@reddit
Your Mama's so fat, her belt size is equator.
dhskdjdjsjddj@reddit
Yo mama so fat, when she walks upstairs she turns the house into a bungalow.
Keefer1970@reddit
Yo mama's like Ms Pac Man. Give her a quarter and she'll swallow balls all day
Willing_Recover_8221@reddit
😂
HellStar54115@reddit
Yo mama’s so ugly, her new line of makeup is called why bother
Yo mama’s so stank that her new deodorant is called skunk piss
Yo mama’s so dumb that she thinks that preparation H is the newest type of toothpaste
HellStar54115@reddit
Yo mama’s pubic hair’s so long that crabs are bungee jumping
chasethesoundguy@reddit
Your mama is so nasty when she plays mortal kombat scorpion’s like, “stay over there!”
It used to be called a jumpoline until your mama used it.
kittyhm@reddit
Your Momma so stupid she thought 3 positive pregnancy tests meant triplets. Then she cried cuz she didn't want to be pregnant for 27 months.
TreebeardsMustache@reddit
Yo mama so dumb, it takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes...
Yo mama so fat, her blood type is marinara...
Yo mama so fat, her shadow weighs 100 lbs...
You mama so fat, after sex she smokes a turkey ..
Yo mama so fat, she got a job at the airport, kickstarting 747's...
Yo mama so ugly, she sold her likeness to a laxative company, and they just replaced their pills with her picture...
pick-and-hoop@reddit
Your mamma is so fat she fell from both sides of the bed
pick-and-hoop@reddit
Your mamma is so poor she can’t even pay attention
jmart_tx@reddit
Your momma's so drunk, she breastfed you beer.
thatkindofdoctor@reddit
Ya momma so stupid, she took nine months to make a joke
fattonydaaxe@reddit
Your mama so fat she shops for clothes at Luluwatermelon.
Fredfredricksen01@reddit
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the movies she sits next to EVERYONE!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
ThanksFDR@reddit
Do you know the difference between your mother and a washing machine?
The washing machine doesn't follow me around for two weeks after I dump a load in it.
Super_Fa_Q@reddit
The difference between your mom and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when I slap it.
Windowman84@reddit
Your mama teef so yellow, when she smile, traffic slow down.
CantReadDuneRunes@reddit
Your mum is so old, she remembers cheering in the stands, back when Jesus played fullback for Jerusalem.
Chaotic424242@reddit
Your mama's got so much hair under her arms she looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
KingNosmo@reddit
Your momma's so fat, it takes a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
krustyDC@reddit
Your mum sits in front of Walmart and lets people spit on her for 50 cents, because she wasted her bus money on Vodka.
NoGodz@reddit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuwH8RrzURU
Southern_Gur_4736@reddit (OP)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Freddy_C_Krueger@reddit
Yo Momma so fat and ugly, she was hired to drag the catapults through Gondor.
b0ingy@reddit
yo momma is so fat dora couldn’t explore her
yo momma so fat and old, before paleontologists met yo momma it was just called the”Jursic” period
Yo momma so poor she sucks dick for the protein
BioletVeauregarde33@reddit
Yo mama so old, that when she first read A Christmas Carol, the ghosts were still alive.
64CarClan@reddit
Your momma’s so irrelevant, even your problems stopped blaming her.
Your momma’s so checked-out, even your nightmares stopped expecting her to show up
64CarClan@reddit
Your momma’s so unreliable, her shadow shows up late.
64CarClan@reddit
Your momma’s so invisible in your life, even your childhood memories filed a missing persons report.
Yoguls@reddit
Your momma's so stupid she puts lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Your momma’s so stupid when you said it was chilly outside she grabbed a bowl.
Your momma’s so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
ForeverYoung_Feb29@reddit
Yo mama so fat, the Sorting Hat at Hogwarts put her in the Waffle House.
Yo mama so nasty I had phone sex with her and got an ear infection.
Your mom is so ugly the whole world faked a pandemic so she'd have to wear a mask.
CptSoap989@reddit
Yo mama is like a shotgun, 2 rocks and 1 blow
IamtheBoomstick@reddit
Yo Momma so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, the mirror ducked!
IamtheBoomstick@reddit
Yo Momma so fat, I pictured her in my head, and broke my neck.
IamtheBoomstick@reddit
Yo Momma so cheap, she went to McDonalds to put a shake on layaway