A cop pulled me over once. “Son,” he said, “you know it’s illegal to go 90 in a 35-mph zone.” No question mark at all.

Being guilty as hell, I naturally smart-assed the reply, “How can you tell? You see, quantum mechanics tells us that you cannot determine both an object’s position and momentum at the same time. As since all the universe is in motion in the grand ballet of planetary motions—of which Earth is but one humble rock—position is a very tenuous thing.

“Also, logic following, if you could know my position, I wouldn’t therefore, have tangible, measurable momentum.

“Alas, officer," I continued, "my position might have been the 35-mph zone, but if you could know that with certainty, you couldn’t know my momentum, my speed.” I smiled then. “Therefore, you must let me go.”

Some time later, I was making my one phone call: “Hello, Mom. I’m in jail.”