[old joke I know] How to clean your cat

First step is to lid to commode, add soap. Depending on needs, which type Usually a nice smelling shampoo works. Next step is to lift commode lid. Add cat, promptly return lid to shut position. Hold lid firmly downward, as cat self-agitates. {Under-lid leaking of cleaning cat is not advised} Third and final step. Flush commode until cat is rinsed of residual detergents. Cat should still be self-agitating. When sufficient rinse is achieved. Taker one step back. Release pressure on commode lid. Cat will self dry.