On a windy day this guy sees an elderly rabbi get his hat blown off, so the guy runs after the hat and manages to grab it.
The rabbi is very grateful. He hands the guy a $20 bill and says "God bless you, young man!"
Posted by Jokeminder42@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 93 comments
The guy figures this is his lucky day, so he goes to the racetrack. He sees that one of the horses in the first race is named "Top Hat," and thinks to himself "This must be a sign! The rabbi gave me a blessing!" So he bets the $20 on Top Hat, and the horse wins the race! The guy is now up $100.
In the next race there's a long shot named Stetsen, so he puts the whole $100 on Stetson. Stetson wins! The guy is now up $1500.
Now he's really sure of himself, and on the next race he bets all his winnings on a horse named Chateau, at 100-1 odds. But to his shock, the horse comes in dead last.
Dejected, he goes home and tells his wife what happened.
"You idiot!" says his wife. "Chateau is a house, chapeau is a hat! We could have been rich! Anyway, which horse won?"
And the guy says, "I dunno... some Japanese horse named 'Yarmulke.'"
Dazzling_Society1510@reddit
I need to remember this one, haha
404_GravitasNotFound@reddit
Yarmulke
InfusionOfYellow@reddit
I bet you can guess what a jewish pirate wears.
pearlsbeforedogs@reddit
Do you know what a pirate's favorite letter is?
InfusionOfYellow@reddit
The C.
colemanjanuary@reddit
An eye patch?
Nondescriptish@reddit
:YAAARRRmulke!"
ProfMcGonaGirl@reddit
Not a keeeeeepah?
Swordidaffair@reddit
It WAS a sleep mask that he got 50% off, what a bargain
bbob_robb@reddit
I'm going to tell this joke to my Rabbi, it's perfect.
Rmondu@reddit
I'm going to convert so that I have a rabbi to tell this joke to.
LovingNaples@reddit
Tim? Is that you?
PositiveElk3927@reddit
know how your Rabbi’s makes coffee.. He brews it
DeV4der@reddit
A Fedora?
Doc-in-a-box@reddit
Discount Gold-Toe Socks from Costco?
Wishing-I-Was-A-Cat@reddit
Dude, you can't just come after my zayde like that.
wakeupagainman@reddit
how do they get that weird little round cap to stick to the top of their heads? Do they use some kind of glue or is it just nailed on?
slugothebear@reddit
Weekend at Bernie's? 😅
Jealous_Nebula1955@reddit
Hair clips.
carmium@reddit
There's a brad nailer just inside the door of the synagogue.
spudfish83@reddit
Why is je stood there?
Puzzleheaded_Quiet70@reddit
Waiting for Brad to show up
Puzzleheaded_Quiet70@reddit
Waiting for Brad to show up
screwcork313@reddit
He's there to offer a strip of Sellotape to any jew whose yarmulke is slipping.
llynglas@reddit
Super glue.
PuzzleheadedTap9635@reddit
Bobby pins if your serious.
wakeupagainman@reddit
yes. i was serious.,,Those little discs seem to stay perched there even when there's a strong wind
HoneyImpossible2371@reddit
I know I guy who tattooed his crown like a yarmulke. No one ever asked him to cover.
Vindicted1501@reddit
Obviously stapled
sugarfreedaddy2@reddit
It's magnetic
404_GravitasNotFound@reddit
I use a hairpin....
freddymercury1@reddit
When people ask why I wear it, I tell them "same reason as the Pope".
fonefreek@reddit
Your union demands it?
matt_the_hat@reddit
… to cover your bald spot.
canada11235813@reddit
Not sure if it helps the joke… But if you spell it “Yamika” it feels a lot more Japanese. If you’re not familiar with “yarmulke”, you might pronounce it Yarr-mull-Kay and then the joke makes no sense at.
sztrzask@reddit
But... Yarmulke is pronounced yarr-mull-key.
Iamjimmym@reddit
Yah-mi-kuh
TrekkiMonstr@reddit
No, absolutely not. Schwa in the middle, sure, but not an /i/. And pronouncing the R and L is the more traditional, Yiddish pronunciation. Yamika is just painful
randomguy16548@reddit
No one pronounces the R or the L like, ever. I'm an orthodox Jew, who wears one, pretty much every male figure in my life wears one, and literally every single person I've ever heard refer to it has pronounced it yamika.
TrekkiMonstr@reddit
Dark Ls are subtle and Rs can change vowel quality without being obvious. In any case, even accepting that, the common pronunciation is still a schwa, not an /i/. No one says yah-mi-ka, that's just flat incorrect.
randomguy16548@reddit
They... do though. That's how it's pronounced. And the R and L are not pronounced, at all.
FlyMega@reddit
Yeah I agree I was a bit lost at first
kinsman82@reddit
But what were the odds for yarmulke….?
ceryz@reddit
You might want to correct "château" into "chapeau" for the help of understanding the joke, château means castle whereas chapeau means hat! Unless a chateau is a specific type of hat that I'm not aware of its existence
numbertenoc@reddit
The whole joke hinges on the fact that the guy mistakes chateau for chapeau. It’s brilliant actually.
Reminds me of the old Steve Martin bit.
ceryz@reddit
Oh my bad on that, my brain autocorrected stetsen as stenson, that's why I was confused, thanks
OxViking@reddit
Even though I had to have the punchline explained to me, I really enjoyed this.
Moppo_@reddit
Either I've been pronouncing yarmulke wrong, which is very possible, or it doesn't sound Japanese.
whaticism@reddit
Lots of folks just say it yamaka
drlongtrl@reddit
That's bologna
Suvtropics@reddit
I call it yabbadabba
calfuris@reddit
It could be that you've been pronouncing it correctly but there's a common alternative pronunciation that works for the joke.
More-Instruction9715@reddit
Better to give Yarmulke even longer odds.
Piney_Dude@reddit
The funniest part is where he gives him $20
akaHastaSiempre@reddit
That’s how you know it’s a joke and not IRL🤣🤣🤣
Careless_Wishbone_69@reddit
If we're doing "a Japanese horse", might as well be "Kippa".
Jokeminder42@reddit (OP)
Yeah, I thought of that (when I looked up how to spell "Yarmulke"), but I don't know if "Kippa" is a familiar term.
bbob_robb@reddit
Kippa doesn't sound vaguely Japanese.
Yamaka works with the joke. It might be better if you spelled it phonetically so it looks like Yamaha.
Kered13@reddit
How does it not? It's perfectly valid (phonologically) as a Japanese word. Compare it to Kappa, for example.
sarpon6@reddit
So next time, spell it phonetically, as pronounced by all the members of the Tribe in my circle - Yamakuh. Emphasis on the "ya," like Yamaha -- see how that works?
Rezart_KLD@reddit
I know how to pronounce it from the Adam Sandler Hanukah song
Jonathan_Peachum@reddit
American here who now lives in Western Europe. "Kippa" is much more familiar here and in fact I have never heard "Yarmulke" here (although I am of course familiar with it from my upbringing in the US).
Deus_latis@reddit
Yep, I'm in the UK. I know Kippa (used to take my Year 2 class to the local synagogue for an RE lesson once a year) never heard of yarmulke.
Moppo_@reddit
Odd, I'm in the UK, and while I have heard kippa before, the first (and only name that comes to mind when I see the hat) is yarmulke.
Pkrudeboy@reddit
Which is both sad and ironic. Kippah is Hebrew term and yarmulke Yiddish, so it would have been the other way around when Europe still had a noticeable Jewish population. Growing up on Long Island, I never heard kippah until I was an adult and half my block was Jewish.
Jonathan_Peachum@reddit
Not so sure it is as simple as that.
The synagogue I now attend is just about half Ashkenazi and half Sephardic in terms of membership but follows an Ashkenazi rite, and I have never heard "Yarmulke" used there (just as I have never heard "Kippah" when I was growing up in the US decades ago).
It may simply be that as time has gone by, more and more people want to use the Hebrew term.
Pkrudeboy@reddit
There were more Yiddish speakers prior to WWII than there are Hebrew speakers today, and that’s with it being the main language of Israel. It only was a major thing among the original Zionist movements who moved to Palestine.
Loko8765@reddit
Ah, then that might be it, I’m also familiar with both cultures but since I’m not Jewish I don’t use the word often, so I have never thought about an eventual difference on different sides of the Atlantic.
Loko8765@reddit
It is.
Pkrudeboy@reddit
It would have been called a yarmulke in Europe a hundred years ago.
tryjmg@reddit
I know yarmulke but not kippa.
Gibodean@reddit
I know yarmulke, and don't know kippa. Unless it's a type of english fish.
transgender_goddess@reddit
Brit here, and although neither are particularly familiar terms to me, kippa rings more of a bell
NSA_Chatbot@reddit
The joke is that he doesn't know what a yarmukle is and it sounds adjacent to Yamaha.
GoofballGnu397@reddit
But it only sounds similar to Yamaha if you know how it’s pronounced?
bbob_robb@reddit
It's pronounced Yamaha but with a k. Like Yamakah.
jerdle_reddit@reddit
Yes, but "yarmulke" is a funnier word.
Severe_Coffee8717@reddit
Yarmulke is not Japanese. It’s Yiddish
Automatic-Ad-1452@reddit
To quote the philosopher Foghorn Leghorn, "You gotta jump for 'em...there all goin' over your head...I'm a cuttin' but you're not a bleedin'..."
GetInMyMinivan@reddit
Just like the Rabbi. That’s the joke.
SaltLickCity@reddit
Welcome to Hebrew-Japanese class on Reddit. 🤷
deliverance73@reddit
That would be funny if the word sounded remotely Japanese.
calfuris@reddit
it can
AffectionateFruit454@reddit
What do you get if you cut 50 bras in half? 100 yarmulkes with chin straps. (I'll see myself out)
seventurtles@reddit
Why not ‘a Mexican horse named Sombrero’?
Mysterious_Network42@reddit
Because it all started out with a rabbi
seventurtles@reddit
True, but top hat, stetson…
bbob_robb@reddit
Also, sombrero is a Mexican hat.
The joke is that the person hears "Yamaka" but doesn't know what it means, and thinks it sounds Japanese.
TurbulentWeb1941@reddit
🤦♂️ "Oi vey! .. such shlimazl."
Motor_Growth_9036@reddit
This “hat joke “ is above my head
notmaddog@reddit
Prik Chee Noy, "rat shit pepper" usually dried and floating on a soup, fkkn hot
Feisty-Conclusion-94@reddit
I totally guffawed at this.
Bobiego@reddit
This is so bad