I'm finally ready to admit that I'm secretly married to four different women.
Posted by ol_hickory@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 68 comments
I think that's big o' me.
auld-guy@reddit
Bigamy is actually having 2 wives (bi). Not sure what the word for 4 wives is. But I know the penalty for Bigamy...2 mothers-in-law.
LW-M@reddit
Quad amy? That would mean 4 MILs. You might strike it lucky with 1 or even 2 great MILs. The odds are really stacked against you that you would get all 4 to treat you well, especially if they ever figured out your real story!
NewGuy-1964@reddit
There are a number of terms that are specific. You already know monogamy and bigamy. Polyandry is when a woman has more than one husband. Polygyny is when a man has more than one wife. Polygamy is the overarching term of someone who has more than one spouse.
LW-M@reddit
Thanks. I'm familiar with the terms and their definitions but a joke is intended as a bit of levity. My intention was to just go-with-the-flow and see where it took us.
NewGuy-1964@reddit
Oh yeah. Sorry about that. Sometimes I forget where I am and get a little pedantic. Comes from being a teacher. I promise, I wasn't as boring as that in my actual field.
LW-M@reddit
No biggie. I understand your reference to being a teacher. Both of my parents and 2 of my 5 sisters were teachers. Arguments, or as we referred to them, lively discussions, were interesting at our house.
My wife remarked that she had never experienced watching 7 people, (I also have a brother), all convinced that they had the only correct answer. She said it looked llike a comedy to her.
NewGuy-1964@reddit
I taught a subject that I would think would be boring to anyone not in the major. I taught computer engineering.
RRC_driver@reddit
In the depths of my family tree (Utah 1890s) I have three sisters who were married to the same man. Three wives, one MIL
NewGuy-1964@reddit
I have an interesting one too. My great-great-grandfather and his identical twin brother married a pair of identical twin sisters. No, it wasn't one big happy marriage. Each brother married one sister. They settled in houses across the alley from each other in Burley Idaho. As far as we are aware there was never any wife swapping. But there was kid swapping. According to my grandmother, some of the kids weren't sure which parents were theirs. They just all went to sleep in whatever house they happened to be in when it was bedtime.
Tollpatschina@reddit
So there are circles in your family tree?
RRC_driver@reddit
Quite a few, I’m connected to a friend, by three different paths (his mother, his father, his wife) and another friend has his dad related to my mother and his mum related to my dad. Plenty of connections by marriage, so not totally inbred
Catnipfish@reddit
Finding 4 women named Amy would be a challenge. 🙂
LW-M@reddit
Good comeback! Quad-amy vs big-amy is a better explanation.
flatoutsask@reddit
Is a small amy better then a big amy?
Enough-Meaning-1836@reddit
It depends on where she is big at...
flatoutsask@reddit
I didn’t think she was a ‘big-at’
ChiefSlug30@reddit
A old joke I first heard on "The Two Ronnies" back in the 70's, but it was probably older than that.
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BrainFRZ@reddit
Good bot
dhark@reddit
Reader beware - pedantic non-joke incoming ...
Bigamy - originally - was the crime of marrying a (second) woman, while married to another in a monogamous society. Since you could never legally marry the second woman, you couldn't have a "third" wife - the crime would always be attempted second wife. Even if you did it three times, as in this joke.
(I finally looked this up, after always finding it odd that there would be a word for exactly two wives. Was there ever actually a society that tolerated exactly two wives, but no more?)
nylonnet@reddit
I practised trigamy for 3 years before I worked out it was actually trigonometry. My three wives were devastated.
^(Pre-emptive pedantic note: "practi)^(s)^(e" is a verb, while "practi)^(c)^(e" is a noun. The same applies to "licen)^(s)^(e/licen)^(c)^(e". Many people don't know that.)
KaizenHour@reddit
Ok, so you made me curious and I'm sick in bed, so i looked up the next bit.
Several societies have historically allowed exactly two spouses:
Customary “two-wife” limits in some precolonial and early colonial West and Central Africa, e.g. among some Akan and Yoruba groups, a second wife might be permitted only if the first wife was infertile or agreed to it.
Some Polynesian island societies (such as in Tahiti and Hawaii before European contact) sometimes allowed a man or woman to have two recognised partners — for example, a formal spouse and a secondary “companion” or “ritual partner.”
In the Arabian Peninsula, before and just after Islam’s emergence, some tribes effectively tolerated “two wives, but no more" before Islam later codified up to four wives
In Tibetan and Nepali societies practising fraternal polyandry, a woman might have two husbands, typically brothers, a practical arrangement to prevent land fragmentation
I've heard variation on Aboriginal Australian social structures having two partners, but that's one for the first part of your adult life, another for later.
auld-guy@reddit
Well, if you make a mistake twice, only a fool would do it a third time
DraycosGoldaryn@reddit
Unless they are sisters …
TheRealHikerdog@reddit
Sister wives.
TheRealHikerdog@reddit
Called polygamy. Or being a Fundamentalist Mormon
viri0l@reddit
Surely tetragamy?
auld-guy@reddit
Y’all really make my day…every day. Well done.
BeDoubleNWhy@reddit
Bibigamy
DemophonWizard@reddit
Polygamy
isdeceittaken@reddit
Bigamy, trigamy and quagomy. Perhaps that was too quigamy.
Doc-in-a-box@reddit
I aspire to be a gigamist
Top_Helicopter_6027@reddit
Elon? Is that you?
Nammmieee@reddit
This belongs on r/WeddingJokes those people are built for this kinda confession
Valuable-Paramedic93@reddit
Bigamy is one wife two many . Monogamy is the same thing ....
NewGuy-1964@reddit
'Tis why I now have a husband instead of a wife.
StkRes@reddit
4 diff women, all in one body. One is abusive , one is bitchy , one is fat , and one allowed him to f once a week.
flatoutsask@reddit
I didn’t think she was a ‘big-at ‘.
porgy_tirebiter@reddit
I once shot an elephant in my pajamas
tundrabarone@reddit
I am legally married to one woman yet traditionally I was married to four women, for a period of time. It made for some interesting family jokes.
Jonathan_Peachum@reddit
There once was a young man from Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked: "Why the third?"
He replied: "One's absurd"
"And bigamy, sir, is a crime."
Zoilo2@reddit
Does he know that man from Nantucket?
ElderberryPoet@reddit
The one who was going.. ah, fucket.
Gurrick@reddit
You are making me grin
ElderberryPoet@reddit
Just wagging my chin.
ElderberryPoet@reddit
..resolving this lim'rick, so suck it.
YourOverlords@reddit
Socks hard! Send another!
slightlyseared@reddit
Now watch while I cum in this bucket
ElderberryPoet@reddit
I actually like yours better.
Oddsteverino@reddit
Big of you? It's big of all of them!
TheRealHikerdog@reddit
Groucho: let’s get married Margaret Dumont: why, you’re already married! That would be bigamy! Groucho: why yes, it would be big of me!
Wild_Kiwi_2890@reddit
Glutton for punishment then 😂😂
arallsopp@reddit
Thought we were supposed to marry 16…
Four better. Four worse. Four richer. Four poorer.
ktka@reddit
What a mormon!
Busy_Rent4@reddit
Call me old-fashioned, but I’m good with disappointing just one woman at a time….
Zoilo2@reddit
I like it. My brother would too.
Inevitable_Professor@reddit
I feel pulled in a lot of different directions by this joke.
Careful_Royal_6502@reddit
It's a biggame.
Culture_Creative@reddit
Stupid puns, kiss my buns
IAteAnotherVegan@reddit
bi is 2, 4 is polygamy. if you change it to 2 wives the punchline works...still funny though.
Doc-in-a-box@reddit
☝️Found the educated person!
Githyerazi@reddit
Burn them! Or were we supposed to see if they float first...
jumpinin66@reddit
Classic Groucho Marx joke:
Margaret Dumont: Why that's bigamy.
Groucho: It's big of me too. Let's be big for a change. Let's face it one man and one woman was good enough for your grandfather but who wants to marry your grandfather? Not even your grandmother!
TheWhiteWolf1970@reddit
In Christian cultures, you are allowed 16 wives. Four richer, four poorer, four better, and four worse.
Avatorn01@reddit
Delivery on the punch line was horrible. Sorry you get a 1 star Yelp review. Try better next time.
Abner_Cadaver@reddit
I think it's big of them, honestly.
gneiss_gesture@reddit
Wouldn't it be quad o' me?
OgOnetee@reddit
Be honet- you're ready for more, man.