A horse walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Posted by MissyJ74@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 72 comments
As the bartender serves him, he looks at the horse and says "hey, why the long face, pal? Are you depressed?"
The horse ponders for a second, scratches his chin, and says "I don't think I am" - and promptly disappears.
See, this is a joke about Rene Descartes' famous statement, "I think, therefore I am." I could have mentioned this at the start of the joke, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse.
ztreHdrahciR@reddit
A Horse Walks into a Bar... He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse?" The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, "Y, the long face."
VintAge6791@reddit
If at first you don't succeed with a geometry joke, try, trigonometry again.
Strokin_out@reddit
I begrudgingly upvoted you. It was a monumentally tedious joke, but at the same time hilarious. Thanks for the hard work.
Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit
I upvoted him because I love horses. Simple as.
mara07985@reddit
And I upvoted because I love tedious jokes. Complicated as
DowntownFeedback6127@reddit
Grrroooaaannn!!!
ddekock61@reddit
Complex. A stretch. Mired in academic depth. Yet I vaguely enjoyed it.
--Jester--@reddit
Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
bornfromanegg@reddit
A gas walks into a bar.
The bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases here.”
He doesn’t react.
Pause_Affectionate@reddit
An atom walks into a bar looking on the floor, under the tables and in the corners. Bartender says "hey what are you looking for?" "I lost an electron." "Are you sure? "I'm positive!"
BLINDrOBOTFILMS@reddit
r/yourjokebutworse
bornfromanegg@reddit
Indeed, but it made me chuckle smugly to myself.
bornfromanegg@reddit
I groaned. I think that’s the correct response. I also enjoyed it.
Zagadka06@reddit
Cheers.
bloot25@reddit
Vaguely.
Round-Ad5540@reddit
Perfectly described.
mathologies@reddit
This is pedantic, I know, but . . .
If we take as true the statement IF i think THEN i am (I think therefore I am; or, I think --> I am)
Then that implies the contrapositive is also true IF I am not THEN i do not think (~I am --> ~I think)
But it doesnt say anything about the truth value of the inverse (I am therefore I think) or the converse (I don't think therefore I am not).
This joke and other jokes rely on the idea of P --> Q implying ~P --> ~Q, but this does not follow.
I know, I'm tons of fun at parties.
DarksideAuditor@reddit
Deeeez cartes
paulrumens@reddit
A man with Downs Syndrome rides a horse into a pub and the barman says "why the mong face?"
mito88@reddit
a baby seal walks into a club.....
thank you.
Pinkxel@reddit
r/fuckyouhaveanupdoot 🤣
CalabreseAlsatian@reddit
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Hey, pal, why the long face?”
The horse replies, “My wife just died, you asshole.”
Make_the_music_stop@reddit
A horse walks into a bar.
"Why the long face?" asks the bartender.
The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from Sex in the City."
IntrovertedBrawler@reddit
Back in the 90s, was she in a famous TV show?
2cats2hats@reddit
Yes, the original title was "Two whores their mother and a horse"
Zhree1@reddit
Yes, it was called Square Pegs
ilhares@reddit
I think she was also in a John Hughes movie.
Mean_Maxxx@reddit
And just like that…
Robespierreshead@reddit
oh damn
I_deleted@reddit
“My crippling alcoholism is destroying my family.”
Flahdagal@reddit
Best laugh I've had all day, and I'm stuck in an airport.
Top-Research-9816@reddit
Yes you could have mentioned it at the beginning but you left it til right st the end which is like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, but hay!, I won't hold it smagainst you as I'm sure you will be saddled with enough blame as it is
Top-Research-9816@reddit
I suppose I'd better rein it in, but I can't resist cracks while I'm on the hoof
BadLegitimate1269@reddit
I also can't resist crack
Top-Research-9816@reddit
Nor can I if it's the one between her cheeks
rabotat@reddit
This joke was hilarious when it happened organically in a reddit comment, as a canned joke it doesn't really work as well.
Kinbote808@reddit
It’s in Jitterbug Perfume which was published in 1984, I have no idea if Tom Robbins actually came up with it though, but whatever random Redditor you think made it up did not make it up.
MissyJ74@reddit (OP)
It was even funnier when one of my HS teachers told it to me. 28 years ago.
stayin_aliv@reddit
Was a philosophy lecturer. Cracked a version of this in class many years ago. Got a slow clap and groans.
Actius@reddit
I’d imagine your students who read Descartes’ Meditations realized the joke doesn’t make sense.
jbauer68@reddit
You’re welcome son
madefordownvoting@reddit
there is a zero percent chance reddit is older than this joke.
rabotat@reddit
I was thinking of this, my bad. This one was "Descartes before the whores".
16thmission@reddit
It has 6969 upvotes. Nice.
Background-Host-7922@reddit
That's why dictionaries are so hasty, and why Ents never have libraries.They always put Descartes before Horace.
Rufezius@reddit
A bear walks into a bar and the bartender says hey what will you have … the bear says ….
Uhh …. a rum and coke ….
the bartender says ok, but what was with the big pause? and the bear says I dunno I was born with em
brianmathews4113@reddit
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender asks “what’ll it be”.
The horse, not knowing English, promptly shits on the floor and leaves.
Valuable-Paramedic93@reddit
The bar was too low and the horse gpt a.boo boo
Geloradanan@reddit
You’re going to have to pony up after that one.
Sapient-ASD@reddit
Works better when you say poof, diaappears. pause. See this is the point of the joke where the philosophy students start laughing because they understand cogito ergo sum, or i think, therefore i am, but to explain that at the beginning would be putting Descarte before the horse.
TastiSqueeze@reddit
The least you could have done is to say "Horace" walked into a bar. Then it would have been putting Descartes before the Horace!
FRANKStheBEAN@reddit
So good
0wlonyt@reddit
almost downvoted till I read the last part, hilarious
Ooh-Rah@reddit
I first heard this some years ago, but it's still funny.
fluffychien@reddit
This is so bad, it's good.
Gazingeezer1984@reddit
Groaning….
That_Guy_Jared@reddit
Been using this joke for years. Hasn’t failed me yet.
skaler73@reddit
…the long face? The horse says, “ Bone cancer.”
KlutzyAd905@reddit
😛
Ddowns5454@reddit
"I yam what what I yam." So is Popeye two people?
CoffeeJedi@reddit
A horse enters the bar. Bartender says, "why the long face?"
The horse answers, "because friend Sarah Lynn just OD'd in a planetarium and I'm an aging alcoholic actor with some really messed up family issues. Now gimme a shot of that Guten Bourbon, the urban German bourbon."
Puzzleheaded_Radio99@reddit
Celine Dion walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender comes over with the beer and asks, “ Hey Celine, why the long face?”
SugarSweetStarrUK@reddit
I think you meant Queen Camilla there, but good shot
goodnightgracie42@reddit
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face?
Due_Report7620@reddit
Alternative joke, a horse walks into the bar, and the bartender asks “why the long face?” The horse simply replies, “I was born like that.”
Immediate_Plenty4436@reddit
Lovely.
wowsomuchempty@reddit
Well played!
mordecai98@reddit
A horse walks into a bar and the bartend at asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "I'm Sarah Jessica Parker".
caskettown01@reddit
This is my favorite joke. I tell it all the time and everyone else seems to hate it. Tbf…my version has grown over time, not dramatically but it still takes a couple of minutes to get out. It’s a big build up for a joke about solipsism.
HikeRobCT@reddit
A cow at the same bar later was having a great time, dancing and saying “carpe diem.” Thus putting Descartes before the Horace.
Relevant_Cause_4755@reddit
Erudition!
J_robintheh00d@reddit
Excellently well done 👍