Can you remotely unjam my printer
Posted by AnDanDan@reddit | talesfromtechsupport | View on Reddit | 34 comments
A light, light-heartened story today.
The other night Im at home, on Discord chatting with people on a server. Friend of mine pops on, and in a joking tone asks "Uh, hey AnDanDan? Can you help me unjam a printer?" My response in a joking tone, after groaning of course, was "I will kill you in real life." We all know how this goes, over the phone printer support.
Despite grumbling, I give it a cursory look since they turn on video. Brother printer, they were out of letter, fed it legal instead while choosing to print on letter, and the greedy bastard took in two pieces at once. Thankfully my friend isnt completely fazed when it comes to technology - even if the quantum computers they work on are still a bit tricky for them - so Im able to direct them pretty easily. Check this panel, pull here, see if this is there etc. Got the model from them before hand, and easily pulled up the guide. Ended up just walking through that, pop the back off the printer to release everything, and like that it's done.
Still, I have to admire the temerity to even semi-seriously ask 'Hey can you unjam my printer over [the phone]'.
depastino@reddit
At least it wasn't that annoying. tiny scrap of torn paper lodged deep in the recesses of the paper path that you need divine assistance to locate.
the-exiled-muse@reddit
And a pair of industrial-sized "tweezers" to remove it.
Geminii27@reddit
Or a specialist tool you can only get from that one manufacturer and costs $200 for a brittle length of bizarrely-shaped plastic.
commentsrnice2@reddit
Or the one feed roller you can’t access from the access panels keeps eating paper and after trying to gently unstick the lost sheet you realize that the roller keeps grabbing corners because the plastic and foam casing on it is literally crumbling away and making it tacky. Go ahead, ask me if I speak from experience😭🤬🖨️🔨
Geminii27@reddit
Oh, absolutely. Guess how I discovered what was causing every page on one printer to feed through about a third of the way before printing started? The company had run the printer so long and so heavily that the backstop for a solenoid movement had been smashed into a paste so thin that the moving metal parts were now able to electrically conduct between them, screwing up the paper feed signal.
depastino@reddit
LOL...nice
Geminii27@reddit
They told me to fix it after none of their techs, and none of the specialists they hired to look at it, could figure it out. I asked for a full technical manual on the printer model, plus electrical diagnostic kit and probes, because I was by no means any kind of laser-printer expert. They gave me a plastic school ruler, a pencil, some kindergarten scissors, and a bottle of stationary glue, because that's what the boss's secretary had in their desk.
Thanks, guys. Real helpful.
(Yes, I did manage to slap together a 'temporary' fix - that was probably used for the next ten years until it wore through as well.)
depastino@reddit
You have to be kidding
Geminii27@reddit
Nope. They weren't exactly technical and didn't want to spend any money on anything, which is why they had a busted laser printer sitting around gathering dust for a year before I turned up.
commentsrnice2@reddit
I was lucky, there was an entire tool chest in the other room and the owner said “have at it, just make sure everything is back where you found it” to which I replied “you can’t be mad I borrowed something if you can’t tell it was borrowed” and that got a laugh
nymalous@reddit
Ugh. I worked (briefly) for a copier/printer company and provided on site "maintenance" to some of their contracted accounts. Very little fun to be had. But at least the pay was abysmal. And the training was non-existent.
toenail-clippers@reddit
How are printers such a fucking nightmare ..... like why cant they just fuckin Print.... my roommate asked me to set up his printer and when I saw it's an HP one I felt myself die inside. The instructions were completely useless and i spent a good 30 minutes cursing the lil printer off.
Warfieldarcher@reddit
Had that! 3 of us tried to find the jam without success. Called out an engineer who knew the printer type, took him 4 hours, a table full of screws and parts and the end result was a piece of paper the size of a small fingernail!
ozzie286@reddit
In many HP printers, the sensors are a plastic arm that goes into the paper path, and the other end of the arm is an IR beam break sensor. I pulled apart a printer the other day to find a chad from pre-punched paper stuck in the sensor itself.
MikeSchwab63@reddit
Anybody ever use a phone borescope to find tiny stuff in tiny spaces?
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=android+borescope
ozzie286@reddit
As a printer tech, I can tell you that there are many spaces in many printers where a boroscope won't fit. All you can do is shine a flashlight in and use tweezers/forceps to grab the paper bits.
Roguefem-76@reddit
At east your friend was joking. Dude, on the job last week I was trying to direct somebody to push in a plug and she sort of scoffed and said "can't you do it by computer?"
I replied in a very dry tone, "No, I cannot physically push in a plug remotely."
I've also had similar conversations about jammed printers. Just... do they not think before they open their mouths?!
AnDanDan@reddit (OP)
Not typically no, it is atypical of the user to think.
nihi1zer0@reddit
I spent 40 minutes resetting a password with a user yesterday. Finally I just made her forward me the password reset email so I could do it for her. The password reset, just need to log in.
She couldn't fucking do it. Insists the "system is broken" and I say "no, I just logged in successfully using your credentials." She was like "can you just send it to my phone?"
"like send the logged-in app directly to your phone to avoid you typing in a password correctly that you selected?"
"yeah! Just do that!"
DysfnctionalbyChoice@reddit
I think it must go something like this for many people:
Tech support has been contacted, higher power now in charge, brain autoshift into neutral, low mental hum engaged, mmmmmmmmmmm.
"Wait, what, you want ME to do something?!", mental hum replaced by the sound of gears grinding...
Relatents@reddit
Of course not. “Think first” is not one of the instructions in the manual. 😁
fuzzytomatohead@reddit
they read the manual?
Tora_no_Kurayami@reddit
Only the part that says “contact your system administrator” or “contact your local helpdesk”. Sometimes even “contact the helpdesk” and it lists the company’s number, but they call you for support instead because you are their helpdesk.
Roguefem-76@reddit
Sad but true.
6890@reddit
We had one client swear that they'd checked the breakers and proven there was power to the device before we scheduled a tech to drive to site.
Tech arrives, panel is open, breaker very obviously shut off.
Flips breaker. Checks equipment. Drives home. Here's your $1,000 bill thanks.
Geminii27@reddit
"Unfortunately, my arm is not two thousand miles long, so it's a little out of my reach."
Filosifee@reddit
Most users don’t have think_before_speak.exe installed on their personal hardware.
GelatinousSalsa@reddit
Ftfy
neko@reddit
I've definitely gotten a handful of "my wifi isn't working, can you remote in and fix it"
Buddy, remoting requires internet
MikeSchwab63@reddit
Only the ISP can do that.
K1yco@reddit
I don't know, can a mechanic change your tire without ever touching your car?
Roguefem-76@reddit
Honestly sometimes I wish I could say something like that.
LadyA052@reddit
After 30 minutes of troubleshooting: "Have you checked everything is plugged in? and everything is still not coming on?" "Yes I have double checked everything and there are no lights on the computer!" "Can you please just double check that it's plugged in securely?" "I can't see back there, our power is off." *banging head against wall*
jeffrey_f@reddit
I hate those calls