How does a hippie polygamist count his wives?

One Mrs Hippie. Two Mrs Hippie. Three Mrs Hippie....

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How does a drummer name his daughters?

Anna one, Anna two, Anna three, Anna four.

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How can you tell that the band stage is perfectly level?

Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.

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What’s the difference between a drummer and a savings bond? A savings bond matures and makes money.

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How does a first-time drinker count shots?

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

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What is the punishment for polygamy in the United States? Multiple mothers-in-law.

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How does Mr Potatohead count his mistresses?

One Potato, two Potato, three Potato, four...