Are English people less direct than other nationalities?

Posted by cosmicinaudio@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 250 comments

A common observation/sometimes criticism I hear from people from other countries is that the English are very indirect, won't say what we really think, don't ask personal questions to people we don't know well, reluctant to talk to strangers, etc. It's often said that the Dutch and Germans are particularly direct, but I've heard people of many nationalities say this about the English. Personally I don't think there really is a national trait in terms of directness in England, it's very dependent on individual personality, regional origin and social class. Some people are very direct while some are very indirect. Also, I think culturally a lot of English people are indifferent to strangers and not particularly interested in their lives or business, not inclined to want to talk to them, and I think people from other countries often interpret this as indirectness when it's not really.

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publiusnaso@reddit

I have a Dutch friend. The Dutch are renowned for their directness. He’s also ASD, which does compound that somewhat. His usual greeting is “You’ve got fat! Hello”. I did mention that’s overdoing it a touch, so he changed it to “Hello! You’ve got fat!”

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SocialistYorksDaddy@reddit

As someone who is very blunt when I think it's pertinent, pointing oit that someone is fat unprompted is just outright rude. There's no useful information communicated there and you're potentially triggering someone's body image issues.

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jaymatthewbee@reddit

Often non native English speakers miss the implied meanings

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SocialistYorksDaddy@reddit

Autistic folk too. I'm in this entire thread wondering what the hell I'm reading. I do sometimes soften unpleasant information or keep my opinions to myself, but i don't ever tell someone a lie i expect them to pick up on.

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sabzeta@reddit

Which means the communication style is less direct, otherwise the meaning would be clearly stated and not implied. Sorry I had to spell this out, clearly I'm in the non-native speaker category. I also think it's more of a cultural than a language thing and a better comparison would be with American or Australian communication styles.

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jaymatthewbee@reddit

It was implied

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sabzeta@reddit

Damn it!

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PartyPoison98@reddit

Non native British/Irish English more like. Americans will often miss the implied meanings too.

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Comprehensive_You42@reddit

I mean, there’s a code. And if you understand it, then you understand. If you’re American, and I say “well it’s a good start” then you may well misunderstand the code, and think I’m being positive, instead of what I CLEARLY MEAN. Look at some of the Japanese cultural communication styles, it’s even more codified. And if you understand the code, then it’s as clear as day.

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Glittering_Mail_7452@reddit

ah yeah, americans love delivering criticism like a sandwich, always dish out criticism with compliments to not make you or them feel bad for saying it.

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Typyrdatyp@reddit

I used "it's a good first draft" followed by details of what needs to be improved. It was very awkward when someone actually believed they submitted a good deliverable... And when for HR purposes I had to start writing "this was wrong" ... Neither Brit nor American but this was in the US. .

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LordLuscius@reddit

That's so strange. Your way of saying things makes sense to me... and I'm likely autistic. The "good start" crap... I'm 31 and only NOW AFTER BEING LITERALLY TOLD THE MEANING, do I understand that what i obviously did all those times was utterly shit. "It's a good first draft" followed by saying what to change though? I'd have changed it! You've got the "I don't hate you or think you're shit but this isn't quite right" PLUS helpful guidance on how to make it right. How can anyone misinterprete that as "all good?"

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Typyrdatyp@reddit

Beats me! The person was very intelligent, well-read in literature that requires reading between the lines, and generally humble. I think they were just very sincere and had a learning mindset so they mistook it as normal guidance... Their sincerity made me feel horrible when HR forced us to use the straight up "you failed to complete this task" phrases. I was like, I'll cause a person a lasting negative self-talk if I say something like that - this is the type of phrase that comes up from your memory when you feel bad about yourself to reinforce that negativity... Had another person who was the opposite though - inexperienced yet overly confident junior. But they figured out the true meaning fairly quickly. I assume at that stage they were chatting with other juniors or with family, who might have enlightened them.

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Ri994@reddit

Yeah, it’s tough when you want to help someone improve but have to balance honesty with kindness. It’s like walking a tightrope—especially in work settings where the stakes can feel high. Some people just don’t pick up on the subtleties, and it can lead to awkward situations.

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andrew0256@reddit

The operative word there is "Well". In English it translates as "it's shit" or " not good enough". To someone whose English is a second language they might see it a compliment, when "start again" is what is needed.

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BrightFleece@reddit

Actually that's an excellent point; the 'well' prefix kind of negates anything that comes after, doesn't it?

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andrew0256@reddit

It does IMO. I've had it used at work, and didn't need to be told anymore!

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Sea-Possession-1208@reddit

Exactly! "Well it's a good start" is very clear to all of us: There's a lot more work needed here. You have started. But this is not a finished product. Please go away and correct all the glaringly obvious problems. This is not adequate. But you're not totally off base. You are in the right ball park. You haven't given me a chair when I've asked you for a Michelin meal. But you've only given me a burger. Go make that burger Michelin star quality.

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Sea-Possession-1208@reddit

We absolutely are. However. We all understand each other. So it doesn't seem indirect. I work with people of lots of different nationalities. Many of whom have English as a first language, but it isn't English English. And it always takes a while for them to understand "I wouldn't have done it that way" or "you might want to do xyz" isn't actually a suggestion. Especially if coming from a boss. As a consequence I've become more direct in my instructions and can then struggle with English people who interpret my direct instructions as a vicious telling off. Because they're used to it being worded as a suggestion. "I wouldn't do it that way" vs "that is the wrong way to do it. Do it this way in future. And correct it this time"

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BlackJackSackIcePack@reddit

If someone spoke to me like that last sentence I would assume they hate me and I'm about to be fired

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Glittering_Mail_7452@reddit

interesting, i dont, i prefer it that way, because thanks, now i know and can do my job right. glad were clear.

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wosmo@reddit

Right, that's the problem - we load this crap up with subtext. So you understand both the literal meaning (you're doing it the wrong way), plus the underlying subtext (I'm not happy with you). So "I'm not sure I agree with that" and "you're wrong" mean exactly the same thing, but one has a polite subtext and one doesn't. This causes difficulties to foreigners because "you're wrong" is nice and simple to translate, and "I'm not sure I agree with that" is half platitude and half double-negative, and you need to understand both to extract the meaning.

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flowering_sun_star@reddit

>mean exactly the same thing, but one has a polite subtext and one doesn't. In other words they mean different things. That politeness has a meaning in itself!

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Sea-Possession-1208@reddit

Yep. Even harder if people don't have English as a first language. So they're translating or lacking the nuance of a fluent speaker But my experience extends this to other native English speakers. Just.... different types of English. Canadian vs American English vs British. Vs Nigerian vs Pakistani. We talk around a subject. Allow the audience to reach their own conclusion. Which is expected to be the same as the concept we were trying to convey but we need them to take that step in their own heads. And if we're the listener, we need to be given the respect and grace to reach the same conclusion in our own heads. Everything is a suggestion. Not an instruction. Except we 100% expect you to follow our suggestions and will be unhappy if you don't.

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wosmo@reddit

yeah - I had to think about the word 'foreigners' because it's pretty loaded term these days, but I decided that it wasn't just translations. Aus/NZ are nominally speaking the same language as us, and are far more direct. This is british culture, not english language.

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Sea-Possession-1208@reddit

I wonder if it will change at all as we absorb more cultures. On a personal level, I have found myself shifting to a more direct way of speaking, but I also try to bring international colleagues into the British way - because it isn't just me that they're going to interact with, and better for everyone if they understand what is intended. Maybe we'll all just meet in the middle. Slightly more direct and less likely to interpret directness as rudeness, and others more able to interpret underlying meaning behind the polite waffle.

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wosmo@reddit

Honestly don't know. I haven't lived in the UK for 25 years, and my inlaws still have to beat me every time I say things like "I wouldn't say no".

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Sea-Possession-1208@reddit

Ah, but do you only say that as an answer to an invite? "Would you like a cup of tea?" "Ooo I wouldn't say no" Or as a request "I wouldn't say no to one of those biscuits you've just made..." If the former- it is fine. You're being there. If still the latter, there's no hope for you. You're dyed in the wool true Brit and they'll just have to cope

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Andries89@reddit

That's the problem, it's very hard to fix inefficiencies and processes in the UK because no one can owe up and clear the air. Sometimes an intense 10-15 minute period where frustrations are vented can lead to months of care free efficient and pleasant working because things now run better than before.

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Sea-Possession-1208@reddit

Sometimes it can. And sometimes it can lead to a compete collapse of a team. We can own up and clear the air. I have no problem saying "I'm sorry. I made this mistake. I know why it happened, it isn't an excuse but it is a train and I'll do xyz so it doesn't happen again". I can clear the air with "I'm struggling with xyz aspect, for my own learning/ understand can you go through it with me?" We can be clear with each other: If my boss says to to "I'm not sure this is the direction for us to go in" i totally understand that they're not happy and I need to do a complete reset. I've got the wrong end of the stick and need to try again. "There's some expression of disquiet from management about our productivity" = pull your finger out, or we're all going to get sacked. Perfectly understandable to a Brit. But I once worked with a colleague who then later said to me "why did Bill tell us about management's disquiet? I can't make them happier in their job" But this relies on both parties actually listening and interpreting properly. And having the background and contextual clues.

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BlackJackSackIcePack@reddit

I don't think it's a problem, just different ways of working. Never had issues fixing inefficiencies or processes, but can definitely be done without singling anyone out and politely

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Andries89@reddit

I would like to politely disagree here, I have seen too many situations in UK businesses where coaching or managing a person intensely on a 1-2-1 basis would have brought tremendous efficiency gains. In some situations I'd even suggest sacking and replacing people, there is a certain "oh we've always done it like this" mentality that creeps into many UK businesses. This is all anecdotal of course

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BlackJackSackIcePack@reddit

Yeah fair enough, I've definitely come across that too. I've been told I'm a very blunt person anyway so maybe my experience isn't typical

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Andries89@reddit

Well I'm under the impression you're a very nice and correct person :-P

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Sea-Possession-1208@reddit

Exactly!

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Nomoreorangecarrots@reddit

I’ve seen this in real time! I use to have a boss from Germany in the UK and some British coworkers would be so offended and then with a British Boss they might go “Oh that’s looks good but we should do x,y,z” Where then the non native British person only here’s the “this looks good” part and takes “xyz” as a suggestion when really the British person meant “this looks shit please do xyz”

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Vikkio92@reddit

I’m not sure “this looks good” means “this looks shit”, it’s more that “this looks good” is just polite, meaningless filler that should be disregarded as it is expected and “please do xyz” is the actual point.

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Nomoreorangecarrots@reddit

Well… probably an extreme example but I’ve heard it used this way before in my industry when they are trying to be polite and have a launching point to give suggestions that changes pretty much everything.

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CiderDrinker2@reddit

I am a native speaker of British English, but I have spent so long working in international organisations, where a sort of Standardised International English is used, that I have now become, apparently, insufferably literal, blunt and over-direct in dealing with others.

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Danielharris1260@reddit

I know they’re both saying the same thing but if someone said the second one to me I’d take far far more seriously.

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michalakos@reddit

As someone that has been here for a little over 10 years, yes the English are very indirect. I am Greek for reference. Most of the time they do not recognise it because they all understand each other and have grown used to this way of speaking but it is very indirect for people coming from different cultures. When I first started working in a corporate environment here I used to ask my manager after long meetings to give me a summary of the feelings in the meeting because sometimes they would really go over my head. We would go through a meeting that I thought went well and he would tell me that most people were displeased and wanted to change stuff. You get used to it in the end and I have no issues now but as I said above, most English people would be considered indirect in some other cultures.

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Illustrious-Cell-428@reddit

You've just described my exact experience as a kiwi in the UK. It took me ages to get used to corporate culture here because people won't say openly when they disagree with something.

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hallerz87@reddit

They will openly say it. They just won't word it directly. The Brits in the room understand that they're disagreeing.

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Glittering_Mail_7452@reddit

sorry, but someone saying hmm thats interesting, for me directly translating, would not mean i dont like it. we can all speak english but it doesnt mean we use words to say the same meaning.

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DarkTeaTimes@reddit

Excuse the poor reminiscence I think in WW2 an English unit were about to be overrun and wiped out - they got on the blower and US artillery/another infantry unit? were the support. The Brits explained they were about to be overrun/wiped up with something like 'It's getting sticky here' which the Americans interpreted as no big deal. No help came.

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FatYorkshireLad@reddit

Pretty sure that was Korea.

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Technohedge@reddit

Whereas in NZ, nobody disagrees with ANYTHING

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Cheese-n-Opinion@reddit

Is it really 'indirect' though if we all understand it? At a certain point, if it's so codified then that's just how the standard phrasing happens to be. I think part of it is we use different phrasings to encode levels of respect and tone into the language, where other languages might for example use different formal and informal pronouns.

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michalakos@reddit

It is indirect though. I understand why and how it is happening (now at least) but that does not make it direct even if everyone understands it. It is codified at this point but that is still indirect

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Bubbly-Tank-6286@reddit

What a great boss though!

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AdLiving4714@reddit

…And the feelings of a native South African as well. Unlike OP, I’d even go so far as to say that, compared with other countries, British indirectness cuts across all social classes and regions. Alas, I ended up in Switzerland, a country whose inhabitants are famously indirect. At least I was already accustomed to handling indirectness, even if I had to learn the codes and clues all over again - different though they are from the British ones.

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Street_Inflation_124@reddit

I’m extremely direct. I hate dancing around over things. I got in trouble in Canada for explaining carefully why things were not to my standards and how people were going to rectify them.

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orcinus99@reddit

Absolutely true. From experience in working in multinational teams, non Brits often don’t understand what British colleagues want them to do, and stuff doesn’t get done. On the flip side directness is often perceived as rude in the UK and people don’t realise other cultures have a different way of communicating.

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mysuitisblack_not@reddit

American living in the UK. Can confirm Brits are indirect and passive aggressive. Drives me insane.

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what_a_r@reddit

Good lord yes. Told a neighbour to pick up after his dog when he shat in the neighbour’s front garden, even gave him a bag. According to the whole village, I can’t behave like this. Not sure what I should’ve done differently, help a clueless European.

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bolivlake@reddit

Oh absolutely. Brits use far more 'softeners' and linguistic padding in their interactions with others. Other languages/cultures are much more 'to the point'. I spend a fair bit of time in Germany. The other week, I was on a train and I happened to be sitting in a set that someone else had reserved. They came up to me and said (in German) *“Excuse me, that’s my seat”.* In the UK, I would expect the interaction to be more like: *“Oh, um… sorry, I think I might have this seat booked?”* \[begin performative checking of the seat numbers, even though they're very much sure this *is* their seat\] *"yeah I think I have 20D, sorry!"*

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_abstrusus@reddit

I get lots of trains. I, an English person, tell people directly if they're in my seat. I see plenty of other English people doing the same (and, depressingly frequently, getting unnecessarily angry at those in their seats). Throwing a 'sorry' in really doesn't seem any less direct than saying bluntly 'that's my seat'. It's no different to 'excuse me'.

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BeeSting113@reddit

Good explanation - I think it's called "register"? Malcolm Gladwell did a really good explanation of it in his book Outliers. He explained that cultural differences are critical to communication in airline cockpits, where hinting rather than being direct can lead to disaster. He gives a good blow-by-blow analysis of a conversation between some Korean pilots, where one of them tries to warn the captain that he's flying into dangerous weather conditions by saying something like "the weather forecast system really is useful, isn't it?" rather than "that storm is too dangerous to fly in", but the pilot either ignores or doesn't understand the hint. The British register would be somewhere in between - as you say, it'd be phrased more as a question, like "Are you sure..." or "That weather system looks quite nasty"

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menevensis@reddit

The ‘classic’ example of cultural differences impeding effective communication in a very lethal way is probably the story about the Gloucester Regiment’s defence of Hill 235 in the Battle of the Imjin River. The British commander informed his American superior that things were ‘a bit sticky,’ which to an American means ‘it’s fine’ not ‘about to be over-run.’ The American general thought nothing needed to be done and the battalion remained in position until it had been surrounded and virtually annihilated. I suspect the significance of the exchange is at least partially apocryphal, but it does make for a pithy anecdote about understatement and the linguistic barriers between Britain and America.

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Weekly_Beautiful_603@reddit

Gladwell’s interpretation of the Korean Air crash has been fairly rigorously debunked. Here’s a person who knows a lot about Korean culture listing some of the issues with this explanation http://askakorean.blogspot.com/2013/07/culturalism-gladwell-and-airplane.html Among the things Gladwell does not mention are that 90% of the conversation was in English, without any honorifics or features of Korean conversation, and that the first officer did in fact speak quite directly to the Captain (“Captain, Guam condition is no good”). Register in sociolinguistics refers to a way of using language that is appropriate for the circumstances. While it’s absolutely true that this differs by culture, that also makes it largely irrelevant when comparing situations where all parties *share* a culture. In the Korean case, both the Korean speaker and the Korean listener should have somewhat similar expectations about how to communicate, just as two Dutch people would.

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TraditionalBench7008@reddit

That's not rigorous debunking. You've posted a single meandering long, long, long very long, long, very long blog of one very distracted person writing down a conscious stream of gibberish. Previous OP provided link of aviation crash investigations which specifically cited the reasons gladwell wrote about in terms opoor communication die to cultural norms being major or primary causes. Of all the Asian tiger economies, Korean society is the most hierarchical and worst for this especially if you're a woman.

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ItsDominare@reddit

> You've posted a single meandering long, long, long very long, long, very long blog of one very distracted person writing down a conscious stream of gibberish. I just want to let you know that this sentence really made me laugh. I'm not quite sure why, but it did.

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TraditionalBench7008@reddit

Dude! Try reading the link! I'm not kidding, you'll wish you were in the dentist's chair receiving new fillings rather than face being forced to read it word by word to the end. It's the worst thing I've ever read. I don't think it's physically survivable? Try it!

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ItsDominare@reddit

OK, give me some time to psych myself up and I'll report back.

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Weekly_Beautiful_603@reddit

It’s interesting that you consider the post to be “very distracted” when it specifically and concretely cites numerous issues with Gladwell’s write-up. It would hardly be the first time Gladwell has written about something totally out of his lane. The folks at [If Books Could Kill](https://podcasts.apple.com/jp/podcast/if-books-could-kill/id1651876897?l=en-US&i=1000585745201) go into more detail on Outliers. I don’t know Korea well, but I have lived in Japan for fifteen years and the way Asian cultures continue to be represented as completely one-dimensional in Western media is wild to me. Also, as I wrote above, the conversation on the plane was 90% in English and held between three speakers of the same culture, sharing similar cultural mores. The idea that the entire Korean culture would not have developed a way to express dissent is just patronising. I hear dissent expressed all the time in Japanese - politely, indirectly, maybe, but once you know the cultural rules it’s clearly there. Did you also read the part about how Korean Air’s “history of accidents” was caused in large part by military engagement and terrorism? Are those also things we can chalk up to Korean culture??

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thedrums2012@reddit

Nathan Fielders inspiration

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Adorable-Emotion4320@reddit

In the Netherlands they would have left out the 'excuse me' :D

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TJohns88@reddit

To be fair, the German language sounds angry enough as it is. No point trying to sugar coat it

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QueenVogonBee@reddit

Only if you’re watching WWII films. To me it sounds expressive.

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DevilishLighthouse@reddit

I think Scots are generally more direct. I'd certainly have no issues letting someone know if they were on my seat.

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Cool_Professional@reddit

Tell that to anyone having to deal with Scottish people. Most businesses I've worked with have had huge cultural issues which largely go undiscussed where the English staff think the Scottish staff are rude and negative, normally because of how direct we are when dealing with issues or pointing out issues. We just have a different culture. A scot in the above scenario would be more likely to say, "here, pal. You're in ma seat. Ye movin ur whit?" And continue to stare directly at you until you moved. To be fair the above is very central belt.

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fl1bbl3@reddit

“It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.” P.G. Wodehouse

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WhoYaTalkinTo@reddit

Yeah in england we'd definitely be like "sorry, im not sure of thats my seat" while pretending to check knowing full well that its our seat. I remember attempting to pay in to a museum in berlin one time and the guy was just like "put your money here." in a way that on the surface level seemed rude but was probably not intentional. In England that same interaction would have been more of a "if you could just pop your money down there please ill get your tickets sorted for you"

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Sir-Pickle-Nipple@reddit

I've noticed it too and it can come off as quite rude, even though I'm sure they don't mean it that way. For example, I've been giving a new guy at work a lift home when it's raining. English isn't his first language but if I were in that situation I'd be like "Hi, sorry would you mind giving me a lift? It's pretty miserable outside and the cycle will be miserable. I'll pay for any petrol too. Thanks a lot!" But he just says: "It's raining so you need to give me a lift" Well, I don't need to do anything. And not asking nicely doesn't make me want to do it.

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khanto0@reddit

Agree. Its very imporant not to appear you are giving instructions or commands at all times

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Possiblyreef@reddit

You'd think the Germans would appreciate that

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theremint@reddit

Well not really. They were directly told what to do, then directly told what not to do.

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Remarkable-Ad155@reddit

"Sorry to be a pain..."

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BonnieMacFarlane2@reddit

> Brits Well, that depends where you are in Britain. Central belt Scotland, you'll definitely get a "that's my seat" or "you're in my seat"

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Totallynaturalvibes@reddit

Depends on which part of the country you’re from. Certain parts of Norfolk are very direct. Horses for courses. Very subjective. I don’t think you can label an entire nationality as one thing or the other.

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PiotrGreenholz01@reddit

British people know how violent other British people can be, or, at the very least, how disinclined to follow rules. It's not that much more complicated than that. The linguistic padding is to pre-empt the possibility of unwanted conflict. For example, we famously queue in order to avoid a 'might makes right' scenario that would be socially disruptive.

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SuzieBee321@reddit

Nonsense. We just use more context then Germans or Dutch, as someone points out just below your comment. We use less context than Japanese, for example. Do you think these societies are less and more violent than ours respectively? Are countries which don't queue, eg Russia, less violent? And so on.

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jamscrying@reddit

This reminds me of last week on a plane where the chap in front of me started rummaging through my bag in the overhead locker very confused, it took me about 30s of watching him struggle to ram his trench coat in my suitcase to make it clear that he was in the wrong bag, and even then it started with me apologising to him.

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VolcanicBear@reddit

I think that probably started with you "apologising" because "sorry?" is synonymous with "excuse me?". It's a polite way of saying "oi."

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BungadinRidesAgain@reddit

A great example of our indirectness.

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Moppo_@reddit

Same thing happened to me. I was too preoccupied to notice the red lights above the seats.

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Monstrrbleu@reddit

As a French person living in the UK, yes, they are. Lack of direct communication was an absolute nightmare when I arrived, and it's still somewhat of an issue for me after 9 years here!

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paulmaer@reddit

I have always found English corporate culture extremely inefficient. Yes I know you get used to it and yes I know that , at the end, is just a code you need to decipher to get the right meanings. But it makes everything time consuming. I admire the Netherlands for their directness: they will call a spade a spade, in a factual, direct but non-confontational way.

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rveq@reddit

Ohh yes. Every time I ask my manager about something I don't know exactly how to do, he comes with questions to make me think about the problem and try to realize what I exactly need to do. He never give me the answer I need.

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east112@reddit

Are you expecting a direct response to this question?

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Mysterious_Bite_3207@reddit

*Shares knowing eye-contact with you

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IntrepidWolverine517@reddit

I don't want to get straight to the point, let's have some small talk first. But on aor general level, directness can create problems.

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relaxmate_justrelax@reddit

Beat the bush is real 💪

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Adorable-Emotion4320@reddit

I'm always baffled esp. In professional setting how some people are able to write something extremely rude that some doesn't across as such.

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Live-Doctor-4188@reddit

Yes,I think we are private people.

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kjus13@reddit

Yes, it's a real pain. I am a foreigner, English is not my first language, to work in the UK, I had to pass an English exam and day by day I'm baffled by Brits being unable to grasp the most basic concepts of their own language, be it grammar or vocabulary. Mind you, they needn't take an exam, they're natives. I do believe in semantics, that words have meanings, but most people don't care. I remember a few years ago at work my boss sent us an e-mail saying something like "could you please consider doing X" to which I replied "yeah, we did consider that and we're not doing it that way". My colleague later told me that it was a bit more than a suggestion. Well, at least my boss learnt to use proper language next time. He never used the word consider again. Or in a bank where I thought I'd spend 20 seconds. The lady asked me "Would you like to sit down?" to which I replied that I'm fine. A few minutes later, when she asked for the third time, I realised she actually wanted me to sit down. Why not just say that? It's the same with friends. We're at a restaurant, the food is good, but not exactly mind-blowing, so I say it's OK. Oh, the horror in everyone's eyes, apparently, you can't use OK, because that means it's awful. Well, does it? I don't know, I checked every single dictionary... And don't get me started on the whole "y'alright" thing where the only acceptable answer is "not too bad, yourself?"!

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Express_Landscape_85@reddit

Eh yes and no. Maybe to some nationalities but as a British person who’s lived in different Asian countries I can assure you it pains some cultures to answer a yes or no question with just one of those two responses.

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minigmgoit@reddit

I'm in a band with a Swedish guy and he is the most indirect person I have ever encountered.

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DarkTeaTimes@reddit

Whilst there is a great deal of explanation about this, I found there is another half to the equation. Avoiding confrontation also leads to a back stabbing culture. English people absolutely eviscerate people.

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Open-Difference5534@reddit

People in the UK tend to be reserved, you encounter an American (for example) and you often get a 'data dump' of their entire life in the first few miniutes, far too much information. As you say it varies, but very few people in the UK are quite so free with information, they neither volunteer the information nor ask for information.

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Bantabury97@reddit

You encounter an American because you can hear them halfway across Boyes and some old dear next to you just tuts and says "bloody yanks.."

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JackDrawsStuff@reddit

That’s not Americans being direct, that’s just pretentious waffle to draw attention. Visit Yorkshire and talk to me about to-the-point people.

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Mr_DnD@reddit

Made a friend from Poland Their first thought was "oh Brits have a similar culture to Polish, this is nice" By the end of their time in the UK: "Brits are similar in some areas but everything they say is indirect and coded" By contrast, people found my friend very direct, and in visiting Poland I agree, they don't tend to mince words! When out with my friend, if you are discussing what you might want to do, their response is "ok so we will do this!" Or "no we will not do this". Not the classic British dilemma dancing around the topic because if you think someone wants to do A and you want to do B you don't want to upset them or be rude by expressing your preference to do B so you double check that they're actually happy doing either A or B or whether they secretly want A and were only offering B out of politeness...

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UPFLou@reddit

I'm from Northern England. On your point about not asking personal questions to strangers, I was always explicitly taught as a child not to 'pry'. As a result of that I think I can come across quite disinterested in people and have to remember that some questions are just part of normal small talk. However, there's always some outlier who feels the need to ask about personal health, trauma and fertility issues within about 2 minutes of meeting. Too far.

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Advanced-Chain@reddit

As someone who has spent a significant amount of time in Poland I can definitely agree with at least this comparison

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ohmy1974@reddit

In my experience they try to avoid conflict, however, they won’t hesitate to stab you in the back.

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jalizie@reddit

Eastern european here, so we are quite direct. Lived in UK for 6 years and you guys reaaally love to beat around the bush and to be a bit passive aggressive, when you could just say what are you upset about. Though now that I'm back home, I miss small talk (ha!) and how open people are. And I do really love that brits tend to ask less of too personal questions and have more of "im happy with what you're happy to share" attitude.

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Ohbc@reddit

I've lived here for years but beating around the bush still drives me insane. Just tell me what you want ffs.

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kilgore_trout1@reddit

Normally it’s a bit annoying when people post questions on here asking solely about English people rather than Brits, but my Scottish wife says that we English people won’t answer a question where two words will suffice without using at least 10 words. So it seems that even within the UK the English are particularly bad at being direct.

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beccyboop95@reddit

I’m Scottish living in London and I agree with this - I don’t think I come off as rude (I hope) but I do think people at work think I’m very direct. I’ve learned to couch it but it’s a bit annoying when I’m just trying to be clear and want clarity in return!

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ItsDominare@reddit

We definitely are. It frustrates me sometimes because I *am* an outlier and do speak directly most of the time. Ironically this meant when I spent the better part of a decade and a half living in the states, I actually had an easier time of it because many more other people tended towards the same than they do here.

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Semi-On-Chardonnay@reddit

Maybe. Sometimes.

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AstralWoman@reddit

You've got to be joking. Has anyone spoken to anyone from Yorkshire or Lancashire? Straight to the point!

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LadyMirkwood@reddit

You might want to read up on high and low context societies. We are somewhere in the middle.

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UncleofLunatics@reddit

yep, it's a fascinating model. I love how the Japanese - the highest context culture in the world - can all be in a room; someone says very little and everybody then leaves the room knowing exactly what now needs to be done and the wider implications. Absolutely baffles non-Japanese!

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mrggy@reddit

I'm not English but I used to live in Japan and knew quite a lot of English people who lived there. Consensus seemed to be that Japan and England were *very* similar in terms of indirect communication styles

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HighlandsBen@reddit

"Well, that might prove a little difficult..." translates as "Absolutely. Fucking. Not." in both cases.

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KeefsCornerShop@reddit

I use this tool frequently for cross-cultural training https://erinmeyer.com/dist/

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noodlesandwich123@reddit

I work in global sales - the English are less direct than many countries (Netherlands, Germany, Italy, Ireland, Greece, USA..) but more direct than a few others - Japan is the classic example but last week I had a Swiss guy tell me they found British people to be more direct and more open to striking up a conversation with strangers!

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Dr_Weebtrash@reddit

Perhaps...

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CoffeeIgnoramus@reddit

Read the book "The Culture Map" by Erin Meyer. But in short, it depends which nationality you're looking at the brits from. Dutch would say the UK is indirect, the Japanese would say we are too direct.

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Top_Database_4424@reddit

Urgh urgh urgh. Stiff upper lip. We're known for our quips of cause we dont beat around the bush.

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Desperate-Ad-5109@reddit

You may say that; I couldn’t possibly comment.

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Ill-Breadfruit5356@reddit

I wouldn’t say that

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amsdkdksbbb@reddit

I’ve lived in worked in a handful of different countries in Europe and Asia. The English in general are not direct, and in the workplace, they dislike confrontation more than they appreciate efficiency.

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WaspsForDinner@reddit

In Thailand there's the idea of เกรงใจ (approximately 'kreng jai', or fear of heart/mind), which refers to an unwillingness to impose on or disturb other people, so you end up with layers of vague language and indirect behaviour, often couched in concessions on both sides, to communicate want or need. Would you like some cake? *(Of course I want cake. Who doesn't want cake?)* No, I'm fine, thanks. Are you sure? There's plenty. *(CAKE! Sat there, so moist and sweet. I want cake so badly.)* Oh, I couldn't possibly... I'll just slice some for you - it'll only go to waste otherwise. Along with toilet humour, it's one of the things that feels weirdly familiar about Thai culture.

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The_Dark_Vampire@reddit

> The English in general are not direct, and in the workplace especially, they dislike confrontation more than they appreciate efficiency. Anyone who has worked in Germany, and had to deal with a UK based team can tell you that. I don't know if it's so much dislike confrontation although that could be part of it but more we just can't be arsed and just want things done without any hassle

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amsdkdksbbb@reddit

Simple, direct communication is a better way to avoid hassle. If you’re English yourself, then of course you don’t notice how much time and energy is wasted when dealing with English clients.

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handtoglandwombat@reddit

Yes very very very much. It’s painful at times. We are more direct than the Japanese, and less direct than virtually every other nation.

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HaraldSiggurdson@reddit

Our government arrests more people for social media posts than Russia do.

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Danannarang@reddit

That could be because Russia has banned all of them But what does this have to do with the post?

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HaraldSiggurdson@reddit

The post asked why British people aren’t direct and it’s because the government lock people up for social media posts?

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Mogidogi@reddit

No it isn't? Its been a thing for longer than social media has even existed

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HaraldSiggurdson@reddit

So a country that once colonised the world was never direct? Okay mate.

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Commercial-Pear-543@reddit

You’re completely gotten the wrong end of the stick here. This post is about [indirect vs direct cultures](https://www.iabc.com/AMP_EDN/457/Understanding-Cultural-Differences-to-Communicate-in-a-Global-World-587.amp.html), not about physical action or politics on free speech. It’s the backdrop of communication between ordinary people in different cultures.

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HaraldSiggurdson@reddit

I think you’re intentionally missing the point. People in the Middle East are direct because they are supported by their governments in their ideologies people in Britain are indirect because their government do not support their ideologies. If having British values is largely attributed to racism and fascism by the media and government then the people of that culture will be less likely to be direct through fear of being branded with the same labels.

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Danannarang@reddit

I've never seen someone talk out their arse so much. You clearly have no clue what you're on about. People in the middle east aren't 'direct because they are supported by their governments in their ideologies'. Some of them have actual real fascism affecting them, not just a slap on the wrist from shitposting on Twitter, and have a real reason to hide thier political opinions.

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HaraldSiggurdson@reddit

Lucy Connolly did a year inside for a tweet so it’s hardly a slap on the wrist bud.

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Commercial-Pear-543@reddit

That’s a ludicrously simplified view of the Middle East and highlights your lack of understanding of what’s being discussed, because the majority of the Middle East has an indirect communication culture. This is not to do with government support of ideologies. This is social.

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HaraldSiggurdson@reddit

Call it whatever you want it doesn’t change the fact that I’m right buddy.

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Commercial-Pear-543@reddit

It’s okay, new ideas are hard 💝

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HaraldSiggurdson@reddit

Clearly 👍

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Mogidogi@reddit

I dunno what you're arguing about, you dont seem to know what the point of this post was and the stuff you're bringing up has absolutely no relevance so just carry on with your schizo posting you unhinged neckbeard

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Nearby_Impact6708@reddit

Nah it just depends on the person. I've met plenty of people who are direct. I feel like a lot of people aren't direct because they just don't care but can be if they need to be.

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Ganache_53@reddit

Are we really talking about the English. I would suggest that generally speaking Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish are pretty direct.

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CuriousThylacine@reddit

Once I told a German that it was nice to meet him and he asked why.

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maubelt1@reddit

Germany is a special case. In Latin America we think of them as extremely direct. If you brits compare to colombians for example, you would seem polite but more direct than them.

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Relative_Dimensions@reddit

He was just being a dick. It’s a perfectly normal greeting in German too.

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musicistabarista@reddit

People say a variation of that in most cultures (including Germany, I assume).

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Sea-Still5427@reddit

It's something of a stereotype based mostly on the traditional middle and upper, or educated, classes, and mostly in the south. Still an element of truth for that type, but they're often very direct at the subtext level. Not true of, say, your typical Yorkshireman, who would make an Aussie sound like Princess Margaret. Also not true of a lot of Londoners past and present.

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Significant-Leek8483@reddit

Agreed. Indifferent not just to strangers but to people you know for ages sometimes. Dont care, dont wanna know - that kind of attitude. I have been on pub nights, quiz nights and many other school events with other parents and we have talked for hours - without having been asked or having to ask anyone what they do or where they live etc. very little personal information been exchanged. I like it that way.

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GingerPrince72@reddit

You should go abroad, you'll soon appreciate the openness, friendliness and humour of Brits.

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Significant-Leek8483@reddit

I do appreciate. Wouldnt have it any other way.

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anothercynicaloldgit@reddit

Yes. As most people here have pointed out. I did once hear an interview with a businessman who said in international teams it was important to have interpreters...if only to explain "...would you _kindly_ do x ..." actually meant "...pull your finger out and get on with it..."

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EconomistSerious7354@reddit

At the company I work at, I work mostly with non-English people but it is an English company. When I joined, as an Englishman, I was treated with exactly this expectation. I got written up for being 'rude' when I told someone straight out that something was not going to work or was not a good idea, in a pretty plain manner - because they assumed my behaviour was me displaying frustration or being aggressive. I have met plenty Englishman that are plainly passive aggressive or just not interested but to be honest I've only really ever found this in middle class environments or otherwise. I think it's just the way things are communicated at different levels of culture...

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maeday___@reddit

I think there are plenty of answers here about language, but there's another point to consider regarding indifference to others. For English people it would be considered impolite to ask a lot of questions of another person - sometimes even family or friends - rather it is polite to allow that person to share what they wish, as and when. That doesn't mean we don't care or aren't interested. This also varies by area - I'm from Yorkshire and also lived in London for ten years. In Yorkshire small talk with strangers is more common, but it's a much less population dense area. In London there isn't a lot of room for personal space, and therefore it's seen as polite not to strike up a casual conversation with someone on a crowded tube platform, or in a carriage where your face is basically in their armpit. It allows people to have emotional space when they can't have physical space.

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andrew0256@reddit

I frequently visit The Netherlands and they have directness off to an art form. Ask a question and the answer is straight to the point. You can't call it rude, but it would certainly upset those to whom interaction is a challenge. The Dutch must think us woolly and indecisiveness.

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musicistabarista@reddit

I've done some work in the Netherlands, and find it challenging. The "directness" can quickly turn to squabbling, insubordination and actual rudeness. I've often experienced a reluctance to follow direct instruction, which is assumed to be justified because they've explained why they disagree with a decision. Or something becomes a discussion when a situation simply is not up for debate. I've heard people there criticise the UK working culture for being inefficient, and then they can literally spend 45 minutes refusing to follow a clear instruction. One time in particular, we'd been told at the start of a meeting that all communication was to happen in English, and several people carried on saying everything in English despite having perfect command of the language, and after being directly told by their (Dutch) superiors to speak in English. The whole thing descended into a disorderly argument about Dutch culture.

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andrew0256@reddit

I don't visit for work, but for family reasons.Clearly I haven't come across your experience which is unsatisfactory. I've had the same in British meetings albeit language isn't the issue. Maybe the management isn't being direct enough!

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Andries89@reddit

Flemish Dutch here, for us efficiency is the main driver and when extrapolated to the whole society, it just makes everything run better and look better. This requires honesty and naming the problem, even when the problem is a person or the way someone is doing things. This doesn't automatically mean confrontation though, just direct honesty and accountability on all sides so things can be improved and done better

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andrew0256@reddit

I agree completely with this.

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Otherwise-Scratch617@reddit

Working class English people are the most direct people you'll meet lol this might apply to English office workers

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this-guy-@reddit

Compared to Dutch and Germans : Yes Compared to the Japanese? No To Japanese we come across like effusive emotionally expressive Italians, relatively speaking.

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DeapVally@reddit

There's regional variance. It's a lot more 'polite' down south. If you want forthright, look no further than Yorkshire.

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rewildingearth@reddit

When I visited Nepal the Nepali people often made the same observation. But they confided in my because they said I'm "more frank" or "not as fake polite as other British people". I have no idea why, but made me feel bad for fellow travellers who's politeness was taken as fake.

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MixPlus@reddit

Definitely. My son was at school with a boy whose mum was German. She said that when she first came to England, people would say she was too blunt. After a few years here, she said when she visited Germany, her relatives would complain that she took too long to get to the point. I am quite direct compared to most English people. They will say, "You must visit again when you are in the area," when in fact, they hope they don't. I only offer stuff, I mean.

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isaidscience@reddit

This is absolutely true. The country is built around anonymous and indirect ways of communicating and passing on information, anonymous complains, layers of bureaucracy and policy to hind behind so that the person you deal with is never the person you need to deal with. Even the rules of the road are not communicated directly! You must know what the national and assumed speed limits are, because speed limits are posted (surprise) at the ENDs of roads, rather than just everywhere possible.

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IpNilpsen1000@reddit

No what's happening here is that these other countries are all just rude.

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rennarda@reddit

I”m from Yorkshire. We say we like, and like what we say.

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SidelineYelling@reddit

If you think the English aren't direct you should go to Norway.

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PGLBK@reddit

As an Eastern European working for the Brits, oh yeah. So, so indirect and generally uninterested. I’ve gotten used to it over time, but my younger colleagues still struggle with it as we are very direct. The Brits often find us rude when we are just to the point..

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purply_otter@reddit

Yes though I think Japan is the most indirect of all For example i found out they have extreme aversion to saying 'no' Even if you need something in a shop and they don't have it instead of saying 'we dont have it' will mmm and ahhhh for like 2 minutes (which is supposed to be taken as a soft no)

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FormABruteSquad@reddit

What's worse is when multiple staff get into a huddle and your unfulfillable request becomes a logjam that can only be unblocked by your fleeing the scene.

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purply_otter@reddit

Yeah it got better towards the end of my trip after I realised how to interpret mmm aahh as 'no' and save a lot of time haha

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GingerPrince72@reddit

Sorry but your Japan story isn't true, they avoid saying the word "no" and are very apologetic but they clearly say "Sorry, we don't have ABC, really sorry". I've spent months in Japan and speak the language so I am 100% certain.

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purply_otter@reddit

my experience is true and did happen Sorry if im wrong to take it as a generalisation but it was even like this multiple different places asking directions very reluctant to say 'no, do not know,' or 'no, do not have' I appreciate you spent more time there and speak the language perhaps my experience was difference as I was communicating in English and that makes it harder to explain

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GingerPrince72@reddit

I suspect the English may have been a part of what you experienced. Hope you enjoyed your trip!

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Moppo_@reddit

We are kinda like parallel nations. Extremely different, yet extremely similar in certain ways.

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purply_otter@reddit

Yeah. Island nation, nowhere is too far from the coast, lots of fresh fish, lots of rain, LOVE TO QUEUE UP - and apologise a lot. I think a major difference i noticed is the lack of whining. I was in a queue for most popular ride at Disney sea in Tokyo for approx 1 hour when it was announced the ride was broken down and for us to begin leaving. If that happened at Thorpe Park in UK you'd hear ppl comment on it - like 'oh noooo' and 'thats annoying, oh well' or maybe at least sighing and huffing and that would be considered taking it well. (As opposed to some people booing etc) Anyway at this ride in Japan....nothing, no reaction. No comments, no sighing, not even people looking at eachother and displeased face expressions, just nothing. I was really impressed (it was ironic because people back home thought I wouldn't see true Japanese culture if I wasted a day at disneyland)

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Moppo_@reddit

Another big difference is respect for public and private property. They can have vending machines everywhere. Pretty much every street in the city, dotted around streets in the suburbs, even by the side of the road in villages. But here? They'd all become urinals in a week.

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captainclectic@reddit

Definitely

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TheMeltingSnowman72@reddit

Lived in UK for 44 years and it wasn't until I did meet some Russians after I left that I realised that even after running pubs for 25 years that I had never (knowingly) met a Russian. They are by far the most direct people and I love it. I'm direct myself so I'm in heaven when socialising with them, you know exactly where you stand at all times. Probably the most like British people that I've met, as they're also full of shit, lie and steal and don't give a fuck about it either.

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Cheese-n-Opinion@reddit

I think broadly we are quite indirect on average - but in truth there's a lot of nuance to this question. You've mentioned the variation between individuals and sub-groups. Additionally I think different cultures have different suites of taboos. We may seem more direct on some topics and more guarded on others. We tend to be quite free and easy with cynicism and near-the-knuckle humour even with new acquaintances which I feel is quite surprising to some folk. But we're more shy about sharing personal information and anything that might impose an effort on someone else. I think also what is perceived as indirectness is sometimes just built into the grammar of the English language. Maybe it came out of an indirectness historically but it's debateable as to whether it really is indirect any more. For example, if I want you to pass the salt, I would say 'could you please pass the salt?'. Taken literally, that is indirect because it's framing it as a hypothetical. But it's such standard phrasing that few native English speakers would consider that coded or implicit language. To non-native English learners whose own language would just say 'pass the salt please' it can seem like speaking in riddles, and I think they assume we're being mindfully indirect by speaking that way.

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GreatBigBagOfNope@reddit

We're probably below the global average in directness due to our negative face politeness system and high-ish-context communication style, but there are some places like Japan which *can* make us seem indistinguishable from the Dutch and Germans in being so direct

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CiderDrinker2@reddit

\> Are English people less direct than other nationalities? You might say that. I couldn't possibly comment.

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mousepallace@reddit

We go for subtlety. We all know what we mean even though we don’t say it out loud; It’s an art form of civility. Apart from Yorkshire people. They take great delight in “ I speak as I find”, which the rest of us just consider a poor excuse for being rude.

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blondererer@reddit

I’m sorry, but I apologise for everything ever.

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Nervous-Coach-8602@reddit

Having worked with Europeans, they are much more direct yes

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WilkosJumper2@reddit

Ever been to the north of England? We’re plenty direct.

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terryjuicelawson@reddit

We can speak almost in a code. If someone asks another person to dinner and they say "I'll let you know" then it can be taken to mean no, but in a way that lets them down gently, while actually leaving the option that they may consider it. If other countries aren't in tune with this they may think "why aren't they letting me know" or pester for a direct answer which would make any Brit wince.

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Naykon1@reddit

I speak French and I find the French very direct. I find Southern English very indirect in general which I find irritating. I find Northern English much more direct than Southerners but less direct than the French. I’ve spent half my life living in northern England and half in the south.

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Smiley_Dub@reddit

You may think so but I couldn't possibly comment

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_AnAussieAbroad@reddit

As a Aussie who has worked and lived in the UK, I’ve been told by colleagues I’m very direct (I don’t think I am) and other friends have had this experience as well. One of my favourite examples was on a busy train this person in the row behind me was doing the classic taking up 2 seats. One for their bag and one for themselves. This person goes “sorry do you mind moving” when they really want to say is “Oi dickhead you are taking up 2 seats and you appear to be oblivious that people around you are standing. I’d like to sit in one of them if you don’t mind”. I also noticed people in London tended to be more direct and open to chatting with randoms than people from smaller towns and I think that is true to a pretty large extent anywhere you go. I did a linguistics class at high school and found it really interesting the different way different cultures spoke. Even though it is the same “language” it is different.

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Excellent-Produce-49@reddit

In my experience Brits are some of the least direct people. I find Scandinavians, Dutchys and Germans far more direct and just less fluffy. Brits are terrible for being direct

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Ulysses1978ii@reddit

Compared to many I'd say yes. We have German's married into our family and their directness is often seen as being rude. The Dutch are a happy medium in my experience.

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Ok_Advantage_8153@reddit

https://share.google/images/pXeCswRogYoHjjEq7

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Lifelemons9393@reddit

Definitely.

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Kickstart68@reddit

Possibly related to "English Understatement". [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English\_understatement](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_understatement) Not sure this is English in particular, as I would say it is common to Ireland, Wales and Scotland also There is a lot of variation between people anyway. There is also some effect from how different languages / accents are perceived. For example some Germanic languages come across as very abrupt in comparison.

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Ventaura@reddit

As an eastern European women that dated British men (and am now done with it) - absolutely.

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No-Structure-8125@reddit

I think there is a difference, yes. My partner is Polish, and if I had gained some weight, and said that I think I've gained a bit of weight, he would tell me directly that yes I have gained weight. Not to be rude or horrible, but just because in their culture, they are very direct and assume you want an honest answer. If I said to my English friends that I think I've gained weight, even if I have, they will all turn around and tell me I haven't and that I look great etc.

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Gold-Presentation655@reddit

I disagree, people here are very indirect, and it's expected. You're supposed to "say the right thing" to a person's face and then be honest behind their back like a Mean Girl. I've seen people called mean or angry for being direct when they've not said anything rude at all. Class and region do come into it, but overall, I'd say lack of directness is one of our biggest flaws.

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PudWud-92_@reddit

Absolutely. I work remotely for a French company and I’m one of only 2 people in my role in the UK. All my other colleagues are French, German, Dutch etc and it was definitely a learning curve to get used to how direct they are, but also to try and be more direct myself.

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BalthazarOfTheOrions@reddit

As a non-Brit who has lived here for over 20 years, yes people in the UK are absolutely indirect compared to most other cultures. It's part of politeness in British culture but can be absolutely baffling and used to navigate for people not from the UK

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SnooBooks1701@reddit

Compared to the Dutch? We're very indirect. Compared to the Japanese? We may as well be spelling everything out like we're talking to a child. The English are not indfferent to strangers, we understand that we have no business prying them for information we don't need, so we respect their privacy.

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Marille_page394@reddit

English people are very indirect and hide behind fake politeness. I live in Scotland and even though Scottish people are more direct than English people, it is still less than what I am used to in my country or for example Nigeria which is another country I have close connections with. I am autistic and this makes everyday life sometimes hard to navigate because I rely on direct communication

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InternetStrang3r@reddit

I’ve found proper scousers to be very direct

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BElannaTorres74656@reddit

My MD is Scouse. Very plain spoken. Not swear-y, just direct. Probably why my straightforward South African self has stuck it out there as long as I have.

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andrew0256@reddit

Anyone "oop north", pal.

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ByronsLastStand@reddit

Do you mean English or British, OP? Within England I'd say Northerners are usually more direct, especially from Yorkshire, but usually less so than the Dutch.

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Dr-Werner-Klopek@reddit

Hmm, yeah, no, maybe…. Probably.

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bartread@reddit

Yes, and even as a Brit myself I often find this quite frustrating. Not just because people won't get to the point or say what they mean but worse, because even between British people who in theory understand how to communicate indirectly, it's an endless source of misunderstandings. These misunderstandings can lead to real world consequences: poor decision-making, wrong actions, hurt feelings, resentment, damaged relationships. It also tacitly legitimises the sort of tiresome passive-aggressive behaviour that is absolutely corrosive within families, community groups, clubs, organisations and businesses. Overall it's an aspect of British culture that most of the time I would happily kiss goodbye to.

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ffordeffanatic@reddit

I've noticed working with Americans that they tend to have more small talk, while we'll cut through more to the point

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Expert-Let-238@reddit

Middle class folk maybe, but working class folk will tell you exactly how it is

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Possible-Highway7898@reddit

We have a strange habit of distancing ourselves from any statement of want. For example, instead of saying 'I want to go home', we would be more likely to say something like 'I was wondering if it might be time to start thinking about heading off'.

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peterbparker86@reddit

My former, now retired, boss used to come into my office and just say 'right, piss off'. That meant an early finish.

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pjs-1987@reddit

I studied in the Netherlands for a couple of years. On day one we were given a lecturing warning us that Dutch people are far more direct and blunt than English people and not to take it personally. It was half meant in jest, but it was incredibly accurate and a little jarring the first few times I experienced it.

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Chlorophilia@reddit

Less direct than some (Germans, Israelis), more direct than others (Japanese).

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neuronez@reddit

“How are you?” “Not too bad”

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evelynsmee@reddit

"It's not ideal" = an absolute catastrophe is occurring

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Delicious-Cut-7911@reddit

I am English and lived for a while with my German husband in Germany. His family despaired at me because I never gave a direct answer. I was so used to saying 'I'll wait and see' or 'I'll think about it' if someone suggested we visit anywhere. Instead a German would say 'No, I don't want to' or 'I have other plans'. This infuriated my in-laws because they would be waiting around for an answer while back home those answers meant no.

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UncleofLunatics@reddit

I'm sure it's been posted before, but I do like the guide to [what the Brits say and what the Dutch hear](https://expatsincebirth.com/2018/03/04/what-the-british-say-and-what-they-mean/).

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evelynsmee@reddit

I dated a Dutchman for a bit. It was.... linguistically challenging 😂😂😂

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Nomoreorangecarrots@reddit

I’m from the US and moved to the UK. From an outside perspective it’s absolutely true. I find some people can be really passive aggressive when upset by something that a 10 minute direct conversation should have solved. But sometimes being direct is considered rude here so it’s hard to navigate. Except for the sarcasm which I’ve gotten better at picking it up but still can be challenging. I have lived in both the city and country and worked with people from all over the UK. It’s just culturally much different here than I expected. I have been here over a decade now and can navigate pretty well but it was a big shock when I came over. Even though I came over with my British partner so had some experience with the culture.

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Illustrious-Divide95@reddit

It depends how drunk they are

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wosmo@reddit

Oh very much so. My partner is Slovak, and I have this difficulty speaking to her family. They'll offer me a cup of coffee, and I'll say crap like "ooh, I wouldn't say no". And you can see their head going through three levels of translation trying to figure out of that's a yes or a no. I have to keep correcting myself and just say yes, please. But every single time I have to correct myself - I have as much problem just saying yes, and they have trying to parse my double-negative.

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evelynsmee@reddit

This is so weird I was literally just thinking about this! My housemate is Greek Cypriot and I have French and Dutch friends. I would say they would all universally agree that yes they are more upfront to the point. But I would also say it isn't only the English. I'd include the British generally and the Irish on avoiding a deep and meaningful. That doesn't mean we're not friendly.

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Thrasy3@reddit

I remember being abroad and a German being annoyed with me because he asked me how my amazing looking burger was and I said “quite nice” - apparently that can mean anything.

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Moppo_@reddit

But "quite nice" is high praise!

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Rinthrah@reddit

Whilst what you're suggesting is ostensibly correct there are some fairly important caveats to consider concerning the nature of the English language that, perhaps, have an impact on English culture as well; or at least how it may be perceived by a foreigner. The English language is unusually well suited to accommodating qualifiers into nearly every claim that might be made. The result has been, at least traditionally, a rather opaque form of communication that is, if not completely opposed at least reluctant, to state anything bluntly lest it be misconstrued or otherwise misinterpreted.

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sf-keto@reddit

Kate Fox in her famous book identifies indirectness & pass-ag as national traits, used to avoid conflict or to quickly end conversations. I’ve found it to be true here in England generally. YMMV.

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mu5tbetheone@reddit

We can be extremely direct. So direct we're sarcastic with it, and people don't understand what we're taking the pee and think we're being indirect, which is often not the case.

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Moppo_@reddit

Well "I'm alright" here can mean "I'm doing pretty well and I feel content", or in extreme cases it can mean "I'm utterly miserable but I'm not dead". So, yeah, I guess we are a bit vague.

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MoneyFunny6710@reddit

My wife has lived in Iran, UK and The Netherlands and she believes the UK is right in the middle of those two, where Iran is extremely less direct and The Netherlands extremely direct.

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ElegantBob@reddit

I would say that the north of England is more direct (blunt) speaking than the South, presumably due to a greater influence of the Norse occupation in the Viking era

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isearn@reddit

From my personal experience people in Europe get more direct the further East you go.

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thefirstofhisname11@reddit

Very indirect compared to the rest of Europe, but what is even more baffling is the difference in values attached to behaviours. In most of Europe (especially in the east), being honest and direct is a virtue. People who are open are respected for being courageous. Definitely not the case in Britain.

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creepinghippo@reddit

You kidding me? I ask people “you alright, mate” every day. 🤣🤣

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Commercial-Pear-543@reddit

We’re probably somewhere in the middle. We are notably less direct for a European nation, but we’re very direct if you wanted to compare us to Japan, South Korea or China. There’s also a language impact we forget about. When talking to people from other countries we are usually speaking English - much easier to be indirect in your native language. Much much harder to pick up on it in a second language. And we rarely speak other languages

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JackDrawsStuff@reddit

Indirect? We’re pretty blunt in my experience, but I’m from the north. We don’t waffle much, which might make Brits seem reserved - we prefer to cut to the chase.

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The_Dark_Vampire@reddit

I think even with people we know we really don't care to much about their lives. We all know when you see someone you know and ask "How is everything" you don't want to know and the person getting asked knows you don't want to know you just say "doing ok and you" even if life is going to hell if they answered genuinely you wouldn't know what to do.

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jim_cap@reddit

Hmm I can see why you might think that.

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martzgregpaul@reddit

Depends. Some people are pretty direct. Your average Scouser or Essex Girl/Boy has no problem speaking their mind. The rest of us dislike confrontation and would rather not say anything directly but seethe internally and bitch about you later.

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

It depends on the nationality. A lot of European cultures are more direct, but east Asian cultures are less direct. I used to work with some people who had previously had to act as mediators between (very direct) French people and (very indirect) Japanese people. The French people thought the Japnese were rude by being secretive and not sharing criticisms, while the Japnese thought the French were rude for openly criticising in meetings. Brits are generally somewhere in the middle.

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BillyJoeDubuluw@reddit

There’s a lot of regional variation with this one.

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Billy_Rizzle@reddit

Indirect? Nah mate, I just respect others’ privacy in their personal lives, especially of those with whom I do not share a personal relationship.

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Brilliant-Offer-4208@reddit

Depends

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No-Theme3091@reddit

We are masterfully sarcastic.

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CoffeeandaTwix@reddit

I agree. There simply isn't a national tendency towards one or the other. On the one hand you have the stereotype of a bumbling nineties Hugh Grant and on the other you have the stereotype of the forthright Yorkshireman etc.

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Complex_Adagio7058@reddit

I’m not sure I understand what you mean, please could you rephrase your question in a more direct way? 😀

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