When "have you tried turning it on?" doesn't work
Posted by i_invented_the_ipod@reddit | talesfromtechsupport | View on Reddit | 25 comments
It's the early 1990s, and I'm doing field service work for a company that makes factory automation machines and software for manufacturing companies. We get a call from a customer, and their production line is down "because your software won't start up".
We used a hardware copy-protection system for our software, which used a "dongle" plugged into the printer port. The software would not find the dongle if the printer was attached, but turned off. So, that's what the message in red text on a black background, with a flashing border around it says: "software licensing key not found. Check that printer is turned on".
So, I ask the guy: "Have you checked that the printer is turned on?"
"Of course I have, what kind of idiot do you think I am? You need to send someone down here now!"
Okay, well - that "someone" is me, so I load up the company van with a new software key, a new computer, a new printer, every possible cable, all of the tools, and I get on the road.
Two hours later, I rock up to the factory, get checked in, issued ear plugs, escorted through a maze of passages and dangerous machinery, and meet the machine operator.
I point to the message on the screen, open up the printer cabinet, turn on the printer, point at the green power light, and restart the software, which works fine. Operator gives me a comical "oops" pantomime, then a thumbs up.
Back out through the maze of passages, get to the van, and realize that I've locked the keys in it. So two more hours waiting for a co-worker to run the spare keys down to me.
terryjuicelawson@reddit
Not blaming you but it is why if there is some kind of error that suggests no power, cable unplugged, router not detected (etc) I basically ask the person and any colleague who will listen in triplicate to check and recheck it. Trace every cable back to the wall and into the socket, powercycle and do so again. Send pictures of any lights or setup. I can say an engineer is being arranged so it won't delay them. It has got people up and working in the past. It is actually because it won't be me on the call-out so it is even worse if I send someone in to do it, as they may well in turn blame me.
i_invented_the_ipod@reddit (OP)
That is definitely the right way to handle it, if you can talk to someone on the spot. But I'm guessing you haven't worked in a steel mill, or a stamping plant. Some of these plants are a mile long, and they're so loud, it's difficult to have a conversation with someone standing next to you without yelling. And this is the 90's, so no portable phones, either.
The guy making the phone call was in an office trailer, a good 1/4 mile from the actual problem. And he likes it there - he's wearing a dress shirt and a tie. He's not going down into the heat, the muck, and the noise for anything that doesn't strictly require him to be there. That's the whole point of being promoted to management, as far as he's concerned.
Arokthis@reddit
I knew exactly where this was going from the end of the second paragraph, but I cackled at the ending.
Were they in the ignition or what? I'm a bit surprised that nobody in the factory knew how to get into a vehicle without causing damage. "Give me ten bucks and I'll have your keys in hand when you get back from the bathroom."
i_invented_the_ipod@reddit (OP)
Sitting in the cup holder, I think? Yeah, the maintenance guy gave it a couple of tries with a Slim Jim, but couldn't get it - "damned new-fangled locks", so I had to wait.
PeePeeMcpherson@reddit
Thats funny "new fangled locks" a co worker locked the keys into his Xterra and called his dad for help. Dad brings out a Slim JIm and couldn't get into the vehicle.
After they struggled for half an hour or so, I walked outside with a coat hanger and 2 flat head screwdrivers. I had the door open in less than 3 minutes without causing any paint damage
Less_Author9432@reddit
The last paragraph…ouch…
Inside-Finish-2128@reddit
Have you heard of the Gimli Glider? It was an Air Canada Boeing 767 that crashed due to fuel starvation. When AC sent a van of mechanics to fix the plane, the van ran out of fuel...
Old_Bear_1949@reddit
Didn't actually crash. The pilot was a glider pilot as his hobby, so he glided the plane into an old RCAF field.
Gandgareth@reddit
Which had been turned into a drag strip with a barrier down the middle.
i_invented_the_ipod@reddit (OP)
Yeah, I got a lot of "Hey, man - have you seen the keys to the VAN?" from co-workers every time I walked by for a few weeks.
Stryker_One@reddit
So, have you seen the keys to the van?
i_invented_the_ipod@reddit (OP)
Sometimes, late at night, when I can't get to sleep....
1947-1460@reddit
Please tell me you billed them, or at least told the production manager why the line was down.
i_invented_the_ipod@reddit (OP)
Oh, yes. Travel time, minimum 1-hour out-call time...it came out to several hundred dollars, if I recall correctly. There was some complaint about that, but once my notes from the call got forwarder to the plant supervisor, we got paid promptly.
K1yco@reddit
One that cost the company hundreds of dollars to press a button.
i_invented_the_ipod@reddit (OP)
Well, the actual cost was in the tens of thousands of dollars, since they were shut down for a couple of hours.
KelemvorSparkyfox@reddit
For a first offence, that's an expensive lesson.
After that? P45-generating event.
rskurat@reddit
Silly boy, managers don't get fired
KelemvorSparkyfox@reddit
Oh, they do. It's just disguised as them seeking alternative employment, totally of their own volition.
K1yco@reddit
That's even better. Did you ever have to deal with that same guy again for other things?
syntaxerror53@reddit
That kind of sounds like a self-admission from customer.
Aware of people admitting something like that.
Winterwynd@reddit
My husband used to work in IT for the state bottle recycling co-op. He got a call about a computer not connecting to the network at a site 4 hours from the main office. 3 separate employees at the site insisted the ethernet cable was plugged in. So the next day he drove to the site, plugged the very visibly disconnected ethernet cable in, checked that the computer was now online, and then drove the four hours back. So much for that work day!
curtludwig@reddit
I think I've written about this before but back in the day I had a reseller that had a system where all the video output was green. I had dealt with them over then phone, replaced the breakout box twice and the board once. They demanded an onsite and that it be for free. I made them a deal that if I showed up and it was our problem it'd be free but if they'd made a mistake it was the call out charge plus expenses. I don't remember the exact call out charge but I remember it was absurd. We didn't want to do onsites if we could help it.
When I showed up I walked to the machine, swapped ref in and ref out to composite in and composite out and everything worked fine.
Remember when I'd replaced the breakout box twice? They'd connected it wrong 3 different times. In my notes I had stuff like "asked customer to move cables one port to the left." and "asked customer to move composite cable to component" they'd never tried any of my troubleshooting steps...
Strangely they went out of business a couple months later.
AdreKiseque@reddit
Brilliant
tkguru8@reddit
And I hoped you charged them extra for the travel time and an onsite fee..