TheaterFire

Since rice does such a great job of absorbing moisture, fill your ass crack with rice every day to prevent swamp-ass.

Posted by ursois@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 35 comments

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35 Comments

somecow@reddit

Y’all need to bathe. Eww.
View on Reddit #66171062

evergladescowboy@reddit

Found someone that doesn’t know what humidity is.
View on Reddit #66199451

somecow@reddit

I live in houston tootsie bear. Still no swamp ass.
View on Reddit #66463013

CatBoyTrip@reddit

how does bathing prevent sweating?
View on Reddit #66182676

lilsasuke4@reddit

Why not just use a shamwow instead of
View on Reddit #66282299

ursois@reddit (OP)

Butt, wait! There's more!
View on Reddit #66286743

Thoguth@reddit

I mean, Silica gel is a bona fide dessicant, so... You know what to do! Maybe add some activated charcoal in there too, for odor absorption.
View on Reddit #66251004

Lemonsqueeze321@reddit

You might as well go for the silica packets for the full effect.
View on Reddit #66175001

TrippingFish76@reddit

but then you can’t eat it after :(
View on Reddit #66245343

turmerich@reddit

Where's the food in that?
View on Reddit #66201895

Lemonsqueeze321@reddit

Do not eat is just a suggestion.
View on Reddit #66202318

DDell313@reddit

So you're just over there turning rice into booty curry.
View on Reddit #66206914

ursois@reddit (OP)

If anything would make me regret posting my idea, this comment would be it.
View on Reddit #66217689

liberal_texan@reddit

I’m willing to bet you could a market somewhere on the internet for this ass-aged rice.
View on Reddit #66150790

Sorry-Climate-7982@reddit

Probably correct, what with Luwak coffee and all....
View on Reddit #66216958

Chest_Rockfield@reddit

Especially depending on whose ass...
View on Reddit #66209494

Sorry-Climate-7982@reddit

You should see if Shark Tank would invest.
View on Reddit #66216927

ak4207@reddit

passes the river water in socks test
View on Reddit #66211551

jimicus@reddit

What makes you think I don’t already do that?
View on Reddit #66159142

Chest_Rockfield@reddit

I can't. The rice would be in the way when I shove my daily quota of $30 worth of pennies up my ass...
View on Reddit #66209717

HorriblePasta@reddit

What makes him think you do that?? What the fuck?
View on Reddit #66164141

HorriblePasta@reddit

Joke by the way.
View on Reddit #66164155

turnsout_im_a_potato@reddit

bonus: its ready by dinner!
View on Reddit #66206698

clearedasfiled@reddit

… and have a tasty snack mid afternoon.
View on Reddit #66193660

PrisonerV@reddit

Bidet. Pressure wash yo ass.
View on Reddit #66181560

TossTossTossThrowa@reddit

Then put rice in it
View on Reddit #66182010

ursois@reddit (OP)

This lady knows what's up.
View on Reddit #66184897

TossTossTossThrowa@reddit

❤️🍚🍑
View on Reddit #66190010

cwerky@reddit

It’s not nearly as good as the wives tales imply. Please don’t put a wet electronics device in rice, just let it air dry.
View on Reddit #66167886

GreenGrapes42@reddit

Wait realy????
View on Reddit #66186040

Right_Two_5737@reddit

So I need to keep my ass exposed to air, got it. 
View on Reddit #66182548

Get_your_grape_juice@reddit

What a horrible day to be literate.
View on Reddit #66179512

Marquar234@reddit

"Turn in your wok and get out, you're fired."
View on Reddit #66161765

Wehunt@reddit

Fried. Just like the rice.
View on Reddit #66177189

Lunar_Gato@reddit

Wait until OP finds out about the man-pon
View on Reddit #66167147