Wife opens letter from the hospital and shows her husband: Why am I so unlucky? First I get diagnosed as being dyslexic, and now they are saying I've got tiny tits.

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Waramp@reddit

True story: I have a friend who works in health care, and she was talking to a patient who was mad after speaking with a doctor. My friend asked the patient what the problem was and she said, “The doctor said my breasts were unremarkable.” Unremarkable in medical speak means there’s nothing wrong with them (no lumps).

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DoorbellEndoscopy@reddit

I framed the letter I had after a colonoscopy that said my rectum was unremarkable. Visitors in the downstairs toilet (where its on the wall) hardly ever seem to comment on it though....

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OMGThunderhorse@reddit

My dad died a year ago (exactly one year ago yesterday, as a matter of fact) and when we finally got the autopsy back I had to laugh when I saw the note about his “unremarkable” anus.

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vajrasana@reddit

Well that’s better than “Absolutely remarkable! Best in 6 counties!”

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Waramp@reddit

You just gotta laugh.

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holycow286@reddit

I am a radiologist in Canada and I mention 'unremarkable' tons in my reports....luckily I don't report mammograms or other breast images, or I should be ready for some angry ladies?

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MfrBVa@reddit

My wife and I got full-body scans last year, and my wife’s written report from the radiologist said her brain was “unremarkable.” She was not happy, but she was laughing.

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Material-Priority-66@reddit

My report …

Genitals: Unremarkable

Sigh.

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Reddituser45005@reddit

I had a similar report from an ex. She had no medical training at all.

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vr0202@reddit

Be happy it wasn’t noted as invisible or atrophied.

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SpongeJake@reddit

looks down sadly at his leperdick

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bogeit71@reddit

on the floor

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hainz_area1531@reddit

While standing on the second floor.

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ADHD_Supernova@reddit

Better use those fingers while you got em.

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WreakingHavoc640@reddit

Same. CT scan = brain unremarkable.

Meanwhile, my knee report came back that it’s “deranged”. Had myself a good laugh over that one, then googled it and found out it’s an actual medical term. One of my favorites so far.

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HoneyImpossible2371@reddit

My kid scraped his knee in the church parking lot, and MD member took quick look and remarked, “Oh superficial.” I say this pretty much whenever I see blood now.

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MotoXwolf@reddit

It’s merely a flesh wound!

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looloose@reddit

Rub some dirt on it.

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mymeatpuppets@reddit

I've had worse.

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ballrus_walsack@reddit

I’m getting better

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EnchantedTikiBird@reddit

You’re a loony.

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iconsumemyown@reddit

Tis but a flesh wound.

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WTFaulknerinCA@reddit

I’m not dead yet!

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JimDixon@reddit

I once sneaked a peek at my doctor's notes (this was back in the day when they didn't routinely make them available) and I saw "Jim is a well-nourished man aged 55...." It made me wonder if "well-nourished" was a euphemism for "fat".

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OskarTheRed@reddit

Remarkably well-nourished?

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ThriceFive@reddit

On a succulent Chinese mea???!!!

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coolguy420weed@reddit

Concerningly well-nourished. Patient should take immediate steps to ensure they become more poorly nourished in the future.

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AuthorizedVehicle@reddit

"overfed"

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keysmag@reddit

..leaping gnome

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DuchessOfCelery@reddit

Ah dang, I'm old lol.

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keysmag@reddit

Hey.. I tossed out the reference. Glad you picked it up!

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Elegant_Selection162@reddit

My doctor made a finding on my chart saying my stomach was flat, but the L was silent.

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Equivalent_Pace4301@reddit

I’ve heard over-nourished used for fat

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Joe_T@reddit

I made the mistake of calling in for test results when my office mate was in the room. He heard this and cracked up:

"Hello, my name is xxxx and I'm calling for the results from my brain stem response test."

"Negative?"

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eggman10361@reddit

TBF, most breasts are unremarkable (in a law of averages sense), but I still love them all!

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uberbeetle@reddit

TBFfffffff. (Ferda!)

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Throwawaybaby09876@reddit

“They’re real. And they’re spectacular!”

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dremxox@reddit

Man: The doctor said my testicles are black.

Wife: No, Dear, he said your test results are back.

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NomadicRobot@reddit

I almost never hear jokes about tinnitus these days.

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Boring-Philosophy-46@reddit

A lady storms into the gynecologist's office. "I need to speak to you immediately!", she says.

"Ma'am, what's the matter?"

"You know what the matter is! You wrote "vaginal hyperplasia" as diagnosis!"

"So? That's what you have. Remember you came here, complaining of vaginal bleeding?"

"Yes but... can't you write down that you don't know the cause or something? People will judge me if they find out I pleasure myself too much."

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Geebert1@reddit

Yes, but on the plus side, she has acute angina.

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og_woodshop@reddit

Ding ding ding!

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Historical-Sun-679@reddit

Of your ears are ringing this joke is about you

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jaytw522@reddit

Oh, so you're a doctor now?? And answer the damn phone already !!

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Purple_Tea_675@reddit

Lucky for the hospital she didn't have acute angina or she might sue them for sexual harassment

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SisterWicked@reddit

Imagine being dyslexic and wondering how there can be such a big fandom for a book about a guy named Dildo..

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Apg3410@reddit

What book?

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yirzmstrebor@reddit

I would guess perhaps the Hobbit, being about Bilbo.

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substandardpoodle@reddit

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association.

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ID-10T_user_Error@reddit

What?

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NixAwesome@reddit

Muaw muap muap

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uberbeetle@reddit

Mua'dib.

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ztreHdrahciR@reddit

There is this deaf lady that had 10 kids in nine years. Every night at bedtime, her husband would ask "you wanna go to sleep or what?"

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Enough-Refuse-7194@reddit

That was also a Benny Hill skit

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ztreHdrahciR@reddit

Fresh?

Yes Fresh. Are you bloody stupid or something?

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