An Englishman and an American enter a resort bathroom together.
Posted by mougrim@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 30 comments
The Englishman noticed that the American didn’t wash his hands after leaving the stall and said haughtily, “In Britain, we’re taught to wash our hands after using the toilet.” The American replied, “Oh yeah? And in America, we’re taught not to piss on our hands.”
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
I like this joke because it demonstrates that Americans are stupid but think they are clever; it isn’t about peeing on your hands it’s about all the fixtures of the toilet (the seat, the flush, the door, the lock, the sink, the taps) being covered in germs. 10 out of 10 for realism.
Melodic-Pen-3927@reddit
I like this answer because it demonstrates you a, have no sense and b, are terrible at talking shit with your friends.
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
Humour*
AlimonyJohnson@reddit
Hughmour*
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
That’s how it’s spelled in Scotland
AlimonyJohnson@reddit
Hugh Moore, PhD.
reddredd_wine@reddit
🤣🤣🤣 How do you spell asswipe in the queen’s English?
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
Arsewipe.
MotoXwolf@reddit
You’re a Twat!
Remember 1776 you Wanker!
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
Sensitive much?
MotoXwolf@reddit
Well why post some brainless nonsense about another entire country if you didn’t want the push back? There are a lot of stupid people across the globe, including the UK. But you don’t see me making rude blanket statements about them.
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
lol, America is the dumbest country on Earth and you’re ably proving that at this very moment.
MotoXwolf@reddit
How so? Because I stood up to a brainless person from the UK? Just what exactly “demonstrates” your point?
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
Oh sorry, I don’t engage idiots in conversation. Off you fuck.
MotoXwolf@reddit
You sound real smart, not engaging with me after engaging with me over and over. Think about what you post before hitting reply next time. Especially if you’re going to try and be clever while insulting an entire country.
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
🤣🤣🤣
MotoXwolf@reddit
And here you are not engaging with me again.
Brilliant. But you have run out of dialogue because you’re not smart enough to post more than a few simple emojis.
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
🥲😝😋🥹😋😃😗😋😘🥲😝🥹😚😃🥰😃🤥😓🤥😱🫥🤭😶😓
puertomateo@reddit
Get help. Lots of it.
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
I rather think Americans need more than me at the moment, babes.
puertomateo@reddit
Right. Because you're a loser who only feels better by insulting a stereotype in your head.
If_you_have_Ghost@reddit
Awww diddums
MackTUTT@reddit
First time I heard it it was a Marine and a soldier. "In the Army they teach us to wash our hands..."
stewieatb@reddit
The version I remember hearing is around Winston Churchill and Antony Eden. Eden went to Eton College. Churchill's reply is "At Harrow they taught us..."
mougrim@reddit (OP)
Yeah, it’s an old one with a lot of different variants :)
Pre-WWII definitely.
Melodic-Pen-3927@reddit
Yea its pretty interchangeable with whoever is telling the joke and whomever they're telling it to.
stewieatb@reddit
This joke is so old, the original punchline is "In Rodinia they taught us not to piss on our hands"
LongNthick314@reddit
This joke is so old it was originally Jesus and one of the disciples!
Guapa1979@reddit
I've noticed an uptick in this kind of thing on social media, trying to drive a wedge between friendly nations.
Kunikunatu@reddit
This was a line the author’s father was fond of in Educated. FWIW other the other Americans in the story were appalled by it. She was raised by an extremely backwards and controlling Mormon family who refused to enroll their children in public education. (Two of them went on to earn PhDs.) It’s a great book.