I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read
Posted by JobTemporary515@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 39 comments
“One day this could be you.” I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he is right .
iSteve@reddit
I keep money in my pocket just to give to bums.
PiSquared6@reddit
Where do you keep the money to give to pockets
batterythemuncher@reddit
In his bum ofc
FrankWhitehouse@reddit
My wife is still mad I gave the blowjob coupon she gifted me for Valentine's Day to the homeless guy outside my office.
RabunWaterfall@reddit
My BFF still laughs at me over something I said 20-ish years ago. Which is especially weird, because she was a lefty back then. Anyway, we were in a questionable part of town one day, and walking out of a store, someone asked us something about change. I said “oh honey, don’t EVER change!”
I still cringe when I think about it, but for some crazy reason, she still thinks it’s funny.
OldPublic6095@reddit
I think the proper term is unhoused. Hahaha lmmfao kidding of course
Renting_Bourbon@reddit
Actually you are correct. Homeless has become a “judgemental” term and is viewed as some as politically incorrect.
Owbutter@reddit
Sir or madam, this is r/jokes.
ES_FTrader@reddit
They’re unhumored
Owbutter@reddit
Without a humerus, does that mean their elbow is attached directly to their shoulder? I'd be perennially unhappy with T-Rex arms too.
RabunWaterfall@reddit
“Perennially unhappy”. I’m going to have to theiver that from you!
Renting_Bourbon@reddit
Sew watt?
GimmeYourTaquitos@reddit
Ive heard many unhoused people call themselves homeless. Shit you see it on their signs and shit too. What their predicament is referred to as, is probably not at the top of their list. Plus everyone in apartments is technically unhoused. If you say unsheltered then you're being offensive to people with tents. There's no winning cuz someone can always be offended.
stevenjameshyde@reddit
[True story] where I live the local government put signs up saying "don't give to the homeless - you could be funding a serious drug habit", and I thought, you're right, that is a better way of using the money
sophisticatednaughty@reddit
I give food and water, clothes and blanket to homeless not money. I saw too much used it for drug and alcohol but I still want help.
FourteenthCylon@reddit
I do something similar. I don't want to see any of my money get wasted on drugs and cheap liquor, so I give it to homeless people.
masheduppotato@reddit
I always buy them food. I used to make brown bags with necessities like toothbrush and paste and sandwiches when I lived in the Bronx.
Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit
I thought you were going to say something like: ...I give food and water, clothes and blankets for money. And I use that to buy drugs. Now I have nothing to eat and nowhere to sleep. (Or words to that effect.)
MinFootspace@reddit
Your local government should write to all business owners and ask them not to pay their employees. They could fund a serious drug habit.
donut_forget@reddit
Mate...
YofoRealsies@reddit
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
numbertenoc@reddit
Took me a beat, funny.
Zealousideal_Guava22@reddit
Scrolling through reditt I only saw the posts title n my first thought was "wow I didn't know signs could do that"
rei1004@reddit
That’s soo funny 😂
jarheadatheart@reddit
There’s a guy in our neighborhood with a sign that says “Homeless with cancer and diabetes” I thought to myself “at least he won’t be homeless for much longer”
MinFootspace@reddit
I saw that guy. Told him I know how it feels. Myself I am cancerless and diabeteless with a home.
egelephant@reddit
One of my cousins was hired by Lehman Brothers right out of college in 2008. His first day on the job was the day they announced their bankruptcy and everyone was laid off. So he went to the ‘you’re all fired’ meeting, gathered up his stuff, and left. He was heading towards the subway, carrying all the company swag he’d been given, when a homeless man approached him to ask for money, saw his Lehman jacket, said ‘Never mind’ and walked away.
BottleGoblin@reddit
He told me he hadn't had a bite in three days. So I bit him.
treesEverywhereTrees@reddit
Was this in Albuquerque by chance?
FlamingoCove@reddit
A! L! B! U! … QUERQUE!
lylasnanadoyle@reddit
Best get checked for rabies?
BottleGoblin@reddit
I did test positive for lycanthropy, but I'm alright nooooooooow.
OldBob10@reddit
“Giv mee munny an II wohnt follo yu”
Deitaphobia@reddit
"If a homeless person has a funny sign, they haven't been homeless for very long" - Chris Rock
rededelk@reddit
Walking towards the entrance to a grocery store had a begger ask "hey do have change for a quarter?". I replied "I thought that was change". I came out of the store shorty thereafter and just happened to witness said bum with an arm full of snow he just run off with from the Ace hardware next door down. Oh well
Blutarg@reddit
A homeless guy asked me for some money. I thought, Do I want my money to be wasted on booze and drugs? No, I did not. So I gave him my money.
martintone@reddit
“Got any spare change?”, someone asked while I walked out of a store.
“No, sorry, they gave me exact change”
Wing3dCobr4@reddit
I was walking through town, and a homeless man stopped me. "Could you spare 50p for some dinner?" I only had £1 on me, but I replied, "If you can get dinner for 50p, then I'm coming with you. I'll pay for both of us!"
UjustMe-4769@reddit
Guy walked up to me and asked if he could have $2 for a sandwich. I said let me see the sandwich.