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TIL that the Royal Navy has had 10 ships named HMS Beaver, and none of them sank

Posted by stewieatb@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 56 comments

This means no Royal Navy sailor has ever gone down on a Beaver.

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56 Comments

stewieatb@reddit (OP)

By the way this is 100% true: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Beaver
View on Reddit #64313354

ctesibius@reddit

Any idea what the numbers attached to some of them mean? Not the date, the following number, eg > HMS Beaver (1757), 18
View on Reddit #64314980

Saracenmoor@reddit

The number of guns, I think.
View on Reddit #64669024

Pot_noodle_miner@reddit

How many cannons above a certain size they had
View on Reddit #64315040

bozmonaut@reddit

Technically correct  - the best kind of correct 
View on Reddit #64313462

Randy-BiVavle513@reddit

Well if we are talking English, many have gone down on the HMS Fanny.
View on Reddit #64319098

Dockers4flag2035orB4@reddit

It must’ve sucked sailing on HMS Cockchafer. Or a least been a bit sore.
View on Reddit #64324081

Crott117@reddit

That’s what the call the HMS Beaver when it’s in dry dock
View on Reddit #64325819

jezarnold@reddit

Thanks. Edited WP at 14:05 GMT … let’s see how long that lasts
View on Reddit #64319782

brushycreekED@reddit

Weren’t even sunk by Spinal Tap’s pink torpedo.
View on Reddit #64418207

Clear-Ad-2998@reddit

Robert Burns, the great Scottish poet, wrote a song called "cock up your beaver", which to him, meant " arrange your hat in a jaunty way". Hats at the time were often made from beaver- skin.
View on Reddit #64318770

Awkward_Pangolin3254@reddit

Beaver felt, and the better quality ones still are
View on Reddit #64367915

jabrwock1@reddit

Robbie was also a horndog, it wouldn’t surprise me if he meant it both ways.
View on Reddit #64366381

joyousrobustlife@reddit

Hats were made from felt made from beaver fur.
View on Reddit #64361969

Whoosier@reddit

Several decades later, his fellow Brit poet Robert Browning thought that "twat" meant a hat. From LitHub.com (from [an article on the origins of the word "fuck"](https://lithub.com/a-brief-history-of-the-most-famous-swear-word-in-the-world/)): >In a striking example of some Victorians’ unfamiliarity with bawdy vocabulary, we see that the poet Robert Browning egregiously misunderstood one common word. He encountered the couplet “They talked of his having a cardinal’s hat, / They’d send him as soon an old nun’s twat,” in a seventeenth- century poem. Erroneously believing from this passage that the last word referred to a part of a nun’s habit, Browning wrote of “Cowls and twats” in his 1848 poem Pippa Passes.
View on Reddit #64330332

Blutarg@reddit

Are they usually on patrol?
View on Reddit #64367392

Ulysses1978ii@reddit

I am an honorary member of HMS Beaver circa 1983. I have a certificate n all.
View on Reddit #64363154

trifokkerdr1@reddit

nobody going down on that Beaver
View on Reddit #64361248

MaterialParsley7536@reddit

Dam!
View on Reddit #64355096

tk2old@reddit

would think they'd be torpedo hungry
View on Reddit #64344208

Szendaci@reddit

Nice beaver.
View on Reddit #64316338

stewieatb@reddit (OP)

The Admiralty: "Thanks, we've just had it stuffed."
View on Reddit #64316735

Zwalt@reddit

That’s a honey of an ankle bracelet
View on Reddit #64338653

Bdellio@reddit

Badump bump...
View on Reddit #64322606

goldenrule78@reddit

They prefer Sea men.
View on Reddit #64337680

Sanguinusshiboleth@reddit

I didn’t see the subreddit and thought this was a TIL.
View on Reddit #64334799

Quiet_Moon2191@reddit

Well, damn.
View on Reddit #64334531

crscali@reddit

yet half of the shops named “HMS Invincible” sank. making them not-Invincible
View on Reddit #64317010

loonie_loons@reddit

the Unsinkable II
View on Reddit #64333350

rytis@reddit

So during the World Wars, German U boats couldn't score on His Majesty's Beaver. Good to know.
View on Reddit #64321807

Beowulf1896@reddit

Hey, you can't post OC here. We demand recycled stuff. Go read Jokester by Isaac Asimov and you'll understand.
View on Reddit #64332954

stewieatb@reddit (OP)

Sorry I'll post #14 in a minute, that usually gets a laugh.
View on Reddit #64333099

Beowulf1896@reddit

I do love your elocution for that one. The dramatic pause really sends it.
View on Reddit #64333212

Nick_Coffin@reddit

Of course. That would be French.
View on Reddit #64332849

raul_lebeau@reddit

In the navy, there are only seamen.
View on Reddit #64329133

Waitsfornoone@reddit

A guy walks into a bar and sees a beaver seated at the counter. He sits next to the beaver and notices it looks upset. So he asks it what was wrong. The beaver said it lost it's job that day. And the guy exclaims "Oh damn!". And the beaver says "How did you know?!"
View on Reddit #64324968

bbobbo_@reddit

The HMS Beaver was always full of British seamen
View on Reddit #64322637

BlackJackKetchum@reddit

Not as good as [HMS Cockchafer.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Cockchafer_(1915)) Safe click, honest.
View on Reddit #64314001

1lard4all@reddit

An Insect Class ship. Seriously lacking gravitas.
View on Reddit #64322032

1lard4all@reddit

All due to rum, sodomy and the lash.
View on Reddit #64321800

DDFoster96@reddit

The next Naked Gun film will feature the love interest handing Frank a freshly wax polished wooden model of one HMS Beaver. "Thank you, I've just had it waxed."
View on Reddit #64321584

Marquar234@reddit

Yeah, but isn't it out of service every 28 days?
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RamamohanS@reddit

They say the HMS Beaver is unsinkable. But emotionally? That’s another story.
View on Reddit #64319532

olugbo@reddit

Dam good joke
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cjh93@reddit

Dam
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taflad@reddit

Beat me to it 😂
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Make_the_music_stop@reddit

As I sat there scratching my dick and spying on my neighbor washing her really hairy beaver, one thing crossed my mind. We have really weird pets in my neighborhood.
View on Reddit #64314987

Real_Ad1929@reddit

Cock would work better
View on Reddit #64317868

Everyones_Dead_Dave@reddit

Shame, as a diver I'd enjoy going down on a beaver
View on Reddit #64316317

stewieatb@reddit (OP)

Royal Navy frogmen often had to wear something to keep their ears warm underwater. In British English these are called "earmuffs" hence the frogmen were often known as "muff divers".
View on Reddit #64317469

Sir_Lemming@reddit

Heh heh. ‘Beaver’ is the NATO brevity code word for Link 14. ‘Sweet’ is the NATO code word for my indicated equipment is operating efficiently. Thus the phrase ‘my Beaver is Sweet’ is a legitimate radio transmission.
View on Reddit #64317315

Eagle2Two@reddit

Misread that as ‘stank’
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bisho@reddit

Nobody likes a stanky beaver
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fart_fig_newton@reddit

This all smells a bit fishy
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Stephen_Dann@reddit

The Royal Navy, used to run on Rum, Sodomy and the Lash. These days they are a lot more progressive and have stopped the Rum ration
View on Reddit #64314202

dkougl@reddit

You don't go down on the Beaver.
View on Reddit #64313907