Parachute fails
Posted by Prestigious_Ad_4911@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 22 comments
A guy jumps out of a plane, but his parachute won’t open. He panics, pulls the reserve…nothing! Now he’s free-falling like a brick.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, he sees another man rocketing upwards from the ground. As they pass each other in mid-air, the skydiver shouts: “Hey! Do you know anything about parachutes?!”
The other guy yells back: “No! Do you know anything about gas heaters?!”
Training-Giraffe1389@reddit
I knew this joke as "do you know anything about Coleman Stoves?"
Grasswaskindawet@reddit
Good. Glad we're seeing more abstract humor here!
Renting_Bourbon@reddit
It’s oldy but a goody.
Duonic@reddit
Mind explaining it a bit for an idiotic soul like myself?
Grasswaskindawet@reddit
The person coming up has the reverse problem of the parachutist's. So they're meeting sort of at the halfway point, and neither can offer the other any help.
Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit
Well, the person falling to the ground would still be in one piece, but the person who originally was on the ground when the gas exploded would probably be arm-less, legless, and headless by this stage. His wife had always told him, get a professional gas fitter, but did he listen? No. That also makes him reckless and feckless. (More or less.)
CountryMountain4848@reddit
this seems to be written out of personal experience!!??
Acrobatic_Matter_109@reddit
Yes, I tried to put him back together, but Super Glue didn't work.
britunculus@reddit
There's been a gas explosion
Soft-Sherbert-2586@reddit
Yes, please! I also fail to understand!
PrasenjitDebroy@reddit
*goldy you mean right.
Renting_Bourbon@reddit
I meant it’s; “It’s an oldy (or oldie) but a goody”. I failed to proofread before I posted. I never meant gold.
kaiwulf@reddit
The etymology of the phrase seems to depend on where one grew up. "oldie but goldie" and "oldie but goodie" are seemingly both common in the US; having grown up in the PNW myself and only ever hearing the former from my parents, 'goodie' seems odd to me
https://www.reddit.com/r/etymology/s/pfsM01foMM
Living_Road_269@reddit
Also native to PNW and never heard of goldie used. Always oldie but a goodie
Top-Research-9816@reddit
All of which goes to prove life has its ups and downs
WetTruckman@reddit
R. I. P. my unlucky dynamic duo...
speendo@reddit
Some guy wins a a parachute jump in the Sahara in a game show.
In the plane, right before the big jump, the instructor reminds him: "you are totally safe: you jump out count to 10, pull the blue string and the parachute will open. If it doesn't, you pull the red string and the spare parachute will open. If this fails as well, open the zipper on the back and the second spare parachute will open. In any case, after your landing a jeep will come and pick you up.
The man feels confident and jumps out. He counts to 10 and pulls the blue string. No parachute.
He pulls the red string. Again, no parachute.
He opens the zipper. No luck with this as well.
Angrily he shouts: Damn, I guess the Jeep will also fail me.
___HeyGFY___@reddit
You don't need a parachute if you want to go skydiving. You only need a parachute if you want to go skydiving a second time.
Welly8oo7@reddit
If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you 😋
Prestigious_Ad_4911@reddit (OP)
Many people only do it once. 🤷🏻♂️
VSWanter@reddit
For Sale: Parachute, never opened, small stain.
Waitsfornoone@reddit
So here is the mirror twin:
A man was doing some DIY work on his gas stove.
When it all of a sudden blew up and sent him flying through his roof and up into the sky.
On his way up he passed a man falling down from the sky and asked him: “Hey, you know anything about gas stoves?”
The guy falling responded, “Nope, you know anything about parachutes?”