Two fish are in a tank...
Posted by fuzzydadino@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 31 comments
One turns to the other, "How long do you think this war's gonna last? We've been trudging along the seabed in this damn thing for way too long."
"Not much longer I hope."
"What's a clownfish like you doing in the Aquatic Armoured Division anyway? Most wouldn't want to be stuck in a tiny two-fin sized box."
"Recruiter said it'd pay more, and I guess I thought I wouldn't mind some walls around me after my house was destroyed."
"Go on."
"It's the whole reason I joined the fighting force in the first place. Spent my last shells getting my family safe. I joined for the money but mostly because of the subfishidiaries the maritime government promised to give soldiers towards rebuilding their homes after the war."
"I wouldn't count of them upholding that, but you can certainly hope."
"Well, I had no choice."
"We've been in this tiny thing together for like what, three months and you're telling me all of this now?"
"Felt like appropriate timing."
"That's the whole reason you became a soldier? Not for duty or loyalty to your reef? But to get paid and the promise of a home at the end of it all?"
"Yeah, it's crazy what a fish might do without anemone."
FlyingTerrier@reddit
Imma need a little help on this one chief.
fuzzydadino@reddit (OP)
It was meant to be "any money" because the fish is broke but also the fish in question is a clownfish and they live in anemone. So the fish who's broke and had his home destroyed was left without either(money or a home).
bigolbrian@reddit
Anemone = an enemy, lots of testing for a bad pun at the end
Interesting_Boot2267@reddit
I thought it was "any money"
Srikandi715@reddit
Yup. Look at the word. N before M, not the other way around.
bigolbrian@reddit
Could be, make more sense than what I said
FlyingTerrier@reddit
Thank you! Puns aren’t my strong suit!
maineblackbear@reddit
Two young fish swimming one day- passing an older wizened fish who turns and asks them: “How’s the water?” One young fish turns to the other-“what’s water?”
I used to tell this to classes as an introduction to existential anxiety
Odd_Postal_Weight@reddit
Ok David Foster Wallace
deliverance73@reddit
With all those extra words, you did not improve on: One turns to the other, “Any idea how to drive this thing?”
Eichmil@reddit
But it is original content at least.
TurboWreck@reddit
I do appreciate how it took on the form of a Norm Macdonald type long form dumb punchline joke.
sdarkpaladin@reddit
But that'll lose the anemone part of the joke 🤣
MajorGeneralNoob@reddit
Yeah that would be shellfish...
MrBigTomato@reddit
Do these fish armies fire puns at each other?
EldritchKinkster@reddit
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "for some reason, I was expecting us to be in an armoured vehicle, but this is just glass."
The other fish doesn't reply, because he's a fish.
MistraloysiusMithrax@reddit
“Oh my god, a talking muffin!”
Subject-Relation-352@reddit
Yes this is the answer I was hoping to find!
ICantSeeDeadPpl@reddit
Sad that he didn’t have two shells to rub together.
happyrtiredscientist@reddit
Sad that it didn't have two coconut shells to knock together..(is this the right reddit)
AlexanderHamilton04@reddit
Where would they even get coconut shells; it would take some type of swallow to carry them and drop them in the water.
calvinnok@reddit
African or European swallows?
Tim-o-tay@reddit
Two fish are swimming in a Panzer. One fish turns to the other and says "fuck my whorey clammy seafood ass" and the other goes "wie fährst du dieses Ding?"
yIdontunderstand@reddit
The fuck outta here..
Tim-o-tay@reddit
Two fish are swimming in a Panzer. One fish turns to the other and says "fuck my whorey clammy seafood ass" and the other goes "wie fährst du dieses Ding?"
TabooDiver@reddit
sehr sorgfältig, oder Sie könnten jemanden töten
glassisnotglass@reddit
Bravo! This was artfully done because most of the puns with with either interpretation, that took a lot of design!
Waitsfornoone@reddit
Finally, the third fish broke his silence with: "Holy Neptune - talking fish!"
Comfortable_Long3594@reddit
Sounds like something from the old "Goon Shows".....how I miss them.....
Gumbysfriend@reddit
You know why men love fishing ? It's the only time they will hear " wow you got a big one !"
Sufficient-Surprise9@reddit
"How do you drive this thing?"