A man foolishly asked his wife why she kept staring out of the window.

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grasopper@reddit

This reminded me of the time my dad's wife panicked in the shower that she was starting to go blind and when I rushed in to help her he found she was wearing her glasses.

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cheetuzz@reddit

this one is not a joke, but one time I was simply sitting at a table, and the room started spinning like the spinning newspaper transition in an old movie.

I panicked because I thought I died or something, but it stopped after I laid down on the floor. Found out later it was vertigo.

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I had an occular migraine one time. Just suddenly a small swirl near the center of my vision, that gradually got larger and larger until I couldn't see anything clearly straight in front of me. Was sure I was either about to go blind or having some kind of stroke or something.

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Deaconse@reddit

I get those every six months or so. Scintillating Scotoma is a trip!

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TOMSDOTTIR@reddit

So I'm hoping they checked you out properly to exclude MS? 😬 You didn't get bouts of extreme fatigue at the same time? My ex had scintillating scotoma and kept falling asleep. After a while, he had a little patch of missing vision in one eye. His useless doctor said it was migraines. I nagged him into getting an appointment with a neurologist, and when he came back he told me that she knew what was wrong but that he couldn't remember the name of it. I had been worried that it was MS and that he wouldn't tell me, so I'd asked him to write down what she said. He told me he had forgotten. He refused to ring her up and ask. We broke up not long after that: too many lies and too much evasion. I hope he's OK. I still worry about him.

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Deaconse@reddit

My ophthalmologist sent me for a brain MRI. I think that's what they were looking for (and didn't find).

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soobie198@reddit

Well thank you, today I learned what that weird visual experience I had about a month ago was. So glad to know it was a real thing and not me going crazy! (Also glad it didn’t come with a migraine afterward.)

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Deaconse@reddit

It IS a migraine - just in a different part of the brain.

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fuqdisshite@reddit

i had an 'event' at work one day and was not sure what had happened.

i went home and rested for 5 days.

went back to work and things were still off. by the time i got home that day i had lost vision in my right eye. thought i had had a stroke.

close...

had an aneurysm pop behind my right ear. that lead to a 7cm dissection of my aorta.

i was walking dead. spent Thanksgiving and my birthday in the ICU. now i have a 750k$ metal flapper in my chest.

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mister---e@reddit

Wow. Hope ur recovering.

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Sethrymir@reddit

I had two of those within one week, that was three or four years ago, I haven’t had one since.

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Commercial_Board6680@reddit

I get these visual auras a couple of times a month. Fortunately, I don't get the migraine headaches that normally occur with these sparkling visions. Doctor doesn't have a clue what's causing them.

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Ravovak@reddit

I had an ocular migraine once, was at work when suddenly my vision started fragmenting and turned into a kaleidoscope. Ended up leaving work, because i couldn't see straight and nearly passed out.

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DoogleSmile@reddit

My first one was at work, I didn't have a clue what was happening, just that I couldn't read any text on my screen if I looked directly at it.

I did have to drive myself home. Thankfully I could see fine if I didn't look directly at something, so I could still read street signs etc. by looking to the side of them.

I've had a couple in the 20 or so years since. The latest one was yesterday. I've found that I tend to get them if I don't drink enough. Yesterday I was out in the sun all day playing in the sea with my friends and not drinking. Got back to our cabin and my vision started swirling. A couple of glasses of water later and I was fine again.

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sonofabutch@reddit

I hope you didn’t drive home!

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Ravovak@reddit

No thankfully, I had a ride available to come and get me.

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klinkscousin@reddit

This use to happen to me 4 or 5 times a week.

I had so many CTs and MRIs of my head that it became a joke, well did they find anything in there this time? Nope it's either too small or vacant.LOL.

Me brain, me brain an alien took me brain.

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Afraid_Thing667@reddit

I started getting ocular migraines after I got Covid,.. they would happen once every few months and then slowly got further and further apart. Pretty wild getting them for the first time in late 30’s early 40’s. Can tell when they are coming because I get wierd outlines on objects and then static comes in almost like snow or old tv static screen and gets worse and worse until I almost can’t see. I just have to lay down and let it pass by which thankfully is usually only 30 to an hour then the damn headache kicks in.

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NotYetReadyToRetire@reddit

My wife got a CT once because of her headaches and ocular migraines. When she got home, she said they didn't find anything on the scan. Apparently "Hah! I could have told them that!" was an inappropriate response.

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DiggsFC@reddit

Oof, I am sorry to hear that. I imagine I would be far less panicked after the first one, but its a terrible and disabling thing to have to go through repeatedly.

You say "used to", any idea why they don't happen as much any more? I never knew what caused mine.

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LeftistEpicure@reddit

I used to have ocular migraines pretty often. Then I read somewhere they were usually caused by dehydration and…well, I almost never have them any more. Although ofc I’m usually looking for a public washroom because I drink so much water.

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harvey6-35@reddit

Mine also stopped. I found Advil would also stop it, particularly if I took a dose right away.

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WorthHabit3317@reddit

Had the exact same occurence, truly unnerving. What added to them drama was the angry student had just told me he wished me dead

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CatStratford@reddit

First time I had one was in 2010, at work. I had NO IDEA what was happening so my boss called 911. My bp was through the roof (I already have hereditary hypertension) so I ended up in the ER. But my vision came back after 30 minutes, and brought w it the pain… I think I’ve had 5 or so since then. Still scary.

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mbd34@reddit

I started getting ocular migraines in my 20s. I'm now pushing 50 and still get them sometimes. They usually clear up in about half an hour. Definitely scary if you don't know what's happening.

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maroongrad@reddit

I was having a stroke and thought it was an ocular migraine. They can be damned similar!!!!

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bd82001@reddit

Mine started like theater marquee lights around the edge of my left eye until everything was gray. Like I needed another reason to remember 9/11.

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Live_Troublemaker@reddit

With Vertigo, it can also seem that the room keeps jerking back & forth (It's really the eyes). I thought I was having a stroke! I literally had to put my head between my knees until it stopped. I later found out that I had a severe Magnesium deficiency.

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mister---e@reddit

You are lucky it stopped. I had it wake me up while sleeping. Going back to sleep didn't help as I was the same 3 hours later. Doc says the vertigo usually goes away, but I had a bad case , so he prescribed motion sickness meds.

He suggested exercises. It might interest you: https://youtu.be/CTZfIv165sY?si=4SWpJewhM6puXRZP

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BertieDastard@reddit

I had that for about six months a couple of years ago. Every time I shifted my head, I had to close my eyes through the spinning. Whenever I laid down I had to clutch my bed tight because I was afraid I'd spin off it. When walking I'd lurch around, staggering like I was permanently drunk.

I took some tablets for it, and at first they worked, then they stopped working and it got so much worse. Sitting down, I had to physically hold so tight to the nearest table or desk, hard enough my knuckles would turn white, so I wouldn't turn my head too quickly and throw myself off the chair in my disorientation.

Eventually, I went to the doctor, who went 'oh yeah, this stuff can exacerbate the condition or even give you it if you're otherwise safe'.

I didn't have it. Hadn't ever had it. But those pills have it to me, and I still think about that now. Were I a more litigious soul, or an American, I might well have sued for malpractice.

As it was, it was hell on earth for six long months, but at least I got to work from home, so, you know, swings and roundabouts.

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enderjaca@reddit

I'm confused --- you started out with vertigo with an unknown cause. You took medication, without a prescription? Medication helped, until it didn't, so you finally saw a doctor -- six months later?

Who would you sue, what was the actual cause of your vertigo, and why did you wait so long to see a doc?

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BertieDastard@reddit

I had the feeling of vertigo. Called my doctor, who diagnosed me and prescribed said medication. They gave it to me, and let me repeat it a couple of times, and didn't mention a single thing about 'oh yeah, don't take it for more than a week, fortnight tops'

I spoke to the doctor several times during that period, but always over the phone. Eventually I demanded an in person appointment. Went along, he tested me, and was like 'oops, it's not vertigo. Should probably stop taking those pills, huh'.

As for what it was, it turns out I have an inner ear condition that flares up sometimes, and presents in a way that is extremely similar, to almost identical, to vertigo.

Just a misdiagnosis and misprescription.

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DiggsFC@reddit

I had an occular migraine one time. Just suddenly a small swirl near the center of my vision, that gradually got larger and larger until I couldn't see anything clearly straight in front of me. Was sure I was either about to go blind or having some kind of stroke or something.

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redishtoo@reddit

Having vertigo is like living “The Exorcist”. A nightmare.

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That_Monitor_2118@reddit

Omg that shit happens to other people too!?!?

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grasopper@reddit

I've also done it to myself. One day I left my car parked in the hot sun all afternoon and noticed my windows had discoloration in the tint which was supposed to be guaranteed not to happen. I called the tint shop and verified it was covered by warranty and they said yeah just bring it in. A while later down the road I lowered a window and still saw the discoloration and then it hit me. I was still wearing my sunglasses. I never called the shop back.

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drtaher@reddit

You meant HIS glasses!

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Best8meme@reddit

my dad's wife

So... your mom? (or stepmom)

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FartBiscuits3@reddit

That one time as I was about to take a shower, took my shirt off and instantly went blind. I was fucking hysterical as I couldn't see anything at all, just all black. Then I heard my father downstairs scream: " Power is back!"

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Candid-Perception526@reddit

Two steps to the bathroom light switch from my bed. I lived in a really dark area. Flipped the switch and nothing. Still dark. I could think of no other reason I couldn’t see the light except that I’m blind. Panicked, laid down and then remembered that I got a post card a few weeks ago that they were going to shut off power in middle of night. Totally forgot about it and when I woke up next morning I COULD SEE!!!

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dotcarmen@reddit

Are yall intoxicated af or is this sober paranoia

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New_journey868@reddit

I was worried about blurry vision once. Then i remembered i was doing a coconut oil hair treatment that had dripped into my eyes

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carmium@reddit

I have eye makeup remover that does that, despite the fact it's meant for the peri-orbital area. The first time, I cleaned up after a night out, put my glasses back on, and the world had gone blurry. I've been a lot more careful with it since then, keeping it all peri and less orbital.

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ShinyUnicornPoo@reddit

Try using olive oil. Best makeup remove I have found and it is ok on my sensitive skin!

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carmium@reddit

Shall keep it in mind! Thx

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TheLary@reddit

Last year, I woke up in the middle of the night to loud bang...reached to the nightstand for my phone to see what time it was. And my phone wouldn't turn on. Just blackness...powers out I surmised... Woke up in the morning in my new sleep mask.😁

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baltinerdist@reddit

I was driving away from a particularly awful camping trip (bad weather, bug infested, hot as hell) with a friend of mine when she suddenly shouted “SHIT! FUCK! MOTHERFUCKER!” and I slammed on the brakes thinking I was about to hit something or get hit. I asked her what the hell was wrong and she said with exasperation, “I left my goddamned glasses on the sink at that campsite and I don’t want to set foot there again.”

I then pointed out that she was wearing her glasses on top of her head.

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SolidOutcome@reddit

Once fell asleep with my arms above my head. When I woke, I couldnt see my arms, couldn't feel them, couldn't move them....I panicked,,,until I looked to the side and saw them

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No-Joke8570@reddit

I had that once where I fell asleep like that, and yeah, I couldn't move my arms. I had to move my body to get my arm position change so it would recover, which it did. It was so weird.

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g-mommytiger@reddit

I did go temporarily blind in my left eye after lens implant surgery. Scared me silly because I couldn’t see anything - it was just totally gray. I had to have emergency surgery that afternoon to drain the fluid that was blocking my vision. I can only imagine that’s what a sight impaired person must experience on a daily basis!

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DaveiNZ@reddit

Some years ago I would wake up at about 4am with a blinding headache. By the time I got to the doctors, or hospital, it was gone. This went on for four months. I had CT scans, spinal taps, al sorts of tests. To no avail. The final time the local hospital flew me in a helicopter to a city hospital. I was given a CT scan with contrast. They found a large blood clot in my temple. This had been caused by a massive infection in an ear bone of which 300 mils of pus was removed. Apparently the “vibration” of the infected bone had cause a brain clot. Headaches gone immediately .

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algolian_suntiger@reddit

How did they treat the clot?

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DaveiNZ@reddit

Blood thinners for 12 months

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No_Warning2173@reddit

less a joke and more a parable...!

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mhf145@reddit

Probably apocryphal, but I’ll tell it anyway. Training class in the US Air Force probably 50 years ago. Classroom is an interior room with no windows. One airman habitually falls asleep, and the NCO instructor is fed up. Using his instructor voice and cadence, tells the class the plan. Turn off the lights, and shut down the overhead projector. Then, sleeping student’s neighbor jostled him awake. It’s pitch dark, and to Sleepy, it seems class is going on as usual. The story I heard doesn’t detail Sleepy’s reaction.

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Cautious-Comment7653@reddit

Reminds me of the time a minutes silence happened in Asda and I stood there looking around wondering wtf is going on and before I came to the conclusion it was a minute silence my prime conclusion was a zombie apocalypse was about to go down and this is how it begins 😱

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shworm@reddit

Thanks for the laughs people!

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DragonAtlas@reddit

Doctor doctor, it hurts everywhere when I poke it with my finger!

Yes, your finger is broken.

Or something to that effect.

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PrestigeMaster@reddit

Yeah, I felt like there’s a super good version of this joke somewhere out there - and this proves that it can absolutely get better than the one above. It’s going to keep me up at night wondering what it could be.

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SofaAloo@reddit

There you go: https://youtu.be/YUj3gECmCs8

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davidkali@reddit

I remember that House episode!

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rk06@reddit

Is that a joke? Or a kid story with morals?

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Soulviolence66@reddit

Vinny Gambini: [to the jury] Hey, how ya doin'? Vinny Gambini: [to the witness] Mr. Crane, what are these pictures of? Ernie Crane: My house and stuff. Vinny Gambini: House and stuff. And what is this brown stuff on your window? Ernie Crane: Dirt. Vinny Gambini: Dirt. And what is this rusty, dusty, dirty-looking thing that's covering your window? Ernie Crane: That's a screen. Vinny Gambini: A screen! It's a screen. And what are these really big things that are right in the middle of your view of the Sac-o-Suds and your kitchen window, what do we call these big things? Ernie Crane: Trees? Vinny Gambini: Trees, that's right. Don't be afraid, just shout 'em right out when you know 'em. And what are these thousands of little things that are on trees? Ernie Crane: Leaves. Vinny Gambini: And these big bushy things between the trees. Ernie Crane: Bushes. Vinny Gambini: Bushes. So, Mr. Crane, you can positively identify the defendants, for a moment of two seconds, looking through this dirty window, this crud-covered screen, all of these trees, with all of these leaves on them, and I don't know how many bushes. Ernie Crane: Looks like five. Vinny Gambini: Uh, uh, uh, don't forget this one and this one. Ernie Crane: Seven bushes! Vinny Gambini: Seven bushes. So, what do you think? Isn't it possible you just saw two guys in a green convertible and not necessarily these two particular guys? Ernie Crane: I suppose. Vinny Gambini: I'm finished with this guy.

My Cousin Vinnie

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kalirion@reddit

Where did the "foolishly" come from? Random AI insertion?

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DaganMoody@reddit

"Ain't never did hear nobody use that word ya'll". lol

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MosMan24@reddit

Welcome to the Bizarro Joke Site. Such knee-slappers!

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wiscosherm@reddit

I was driving one summer day and realized that everything more than a block ahead looked fuzzy. Started worrying that my eyes had gone bad suddenly and perhaps I'd had a stroke. Turned out the actual reason was that instead of putting sunglasses on I had grabbed a pair of readers I keep in the car.

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prof_stack@reddit

I've done that before also.

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lostinspaz@reddit

joke unclear. I think the intent is if you changed "the window" to "our window"

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be-koz@reddit

Also, wouldn’t the whole house look dirty? Wouldn’t it be better to say, “her house looks filthy, look at the state of those windows and siding”?

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poderpode@reddit

I had to read it twice. Okay, three times.

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Funny_Beyond_7794@reddit

It feels like this joke could be a parable for something.

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karma_the_sequel@reddit

Would I be correct in saying this was posted by a Brit?

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Jumpy-Ad-4410@reddit

My upvote make it 1000th

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buddagolf@reddit

We had a bathroom at work, single seater, that had the light switch outside to turn on as you went in. Co-worker went in, gave him 4-5 minutes, and turned the light off. Turned light back on after another 4-5, and when he came out he said, “I thought I shit myself blindl

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