The doctor says I have ADHD
Posted by Chemistry11@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 36 comments
He told me it stands Attention Deficit-something or other. I kinda drifted off when I saw on his diploma that his middle name was the same as a kid I knew in grade school that I used to play thundercats with. I was always Panthro, because Panthers are cool. Go Panthers! Second Stanley Cup win this year? That’d be cool. Remember the Stanley Cup trend at Target stores? It was a riot!
ES_FTrader@reddit
What is the worst punishment for someone with ADHD?
A concentration camp
thatkindofdoctor@reddit
That's the place where they make orange juice, right?
tourbox12@reddit
I got fired from the orange juice factory last year. I couldn't concentrate.
Amberdeluxe@reddit
You mean you got canned?
tourbox12@reddit
I had a job squishing cans but it was soda pressing
tourbox12@reddit
Then I got a new job at the fire hydrant making plant, but i didn't like it there. No place to park.
Amberdeluxe@reddit
I tried computer programming, but couldn’t hack it.
--GrinAndBearIt--@reddit
Ok, Cartman, we see you.
rogue74656@reddit
My Doctor says I have ADHD, so i went home and looked it up online to see what the symptoms and the treatments are. Do you know what I found out? The Canary Islands are not named after the bird.
justred86@reddit
Fan or no Fan Ellen DeGeneres talked about this in her I believe 2000 stand up. To some it sounds crazy 😧 to me it's just normal 😂
TCGHexenwahn@reddit
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I've got 80 of them.
narielthetrue@reddit
My AD is in HD, that’s why they call it 4K
JazzRider@reddit
Attention Deficit….Hey Donuts!
IAreBeMrLee@reddit
Wow, you're vision must be super clear
NewGuy-1964@reddit
High density. It means you're very dense.
Chemistry11@reddit (OP)
“I’m your density” George McFly
NewGuy-1964@reddit
I have to admit, I was much more in love with George than I ever was with Marty. George was so cute in that nerdy geeky puppy dog way of his.
Trogdor7620@reddit
It’s worse when you’re trying to sleep.
“One sheep, two sheep, three cow, four duck, five chicken, Old MacDonald had a farm, HEEYY, MACARENA!!”
42mir4@reddit
Lol. I read this to my partner, who's a DEI (Diversity, Equality & Inclusion) specialist. She was not amused...
TnBluesman@reddit
Find someone who understands humor, fer crying out loud. It's a JOKE, not a mission statement for life.
Chemistry11@reddit (OP)
Offended on behalf of others? 🙄🙄
Assure her my adhd is real, and this is a genuine stream of conscious thought (cut way short for brevity sake) that is legit how my - and many others - brain works. It’s not a problem; it’s a superpower few learn how to harness.
KindlyFriedChickpeas@reddit
Think this works better as a stand up bit rather than a written joke.
darwin-rover@reddit
https://youtu.be/OOoahw64IX4?si=CzgAiw32dccUfcgR
basketcase908@reddit
I remember that one time a uni friend of mine went to a therapist to get tested for ADHD and the therapist gave her a long description of stuff to read and see if she relates. I was suspecting I had it and asked her to send it to me out of curiosity, andddddd I couldn't focus enough to read it. 💀
HgDragon80@reddit
My wife calls it her ADOS, "Attention Deficit Oooh Shiny!" issue.
berried_aprons@reddit
Ha!!! I love it! What a wholesome and accurate description.
ChemicalTzar@reddit
Attention Deficit… Hey, Donuts
Please_Go_Away43@reddit
mmm, cookies! hey, wanna ride bikes?
WHISTLER_J@reddit
I started reading and realized that was a lot to read... then it started raining. BIG drops. I like Subway. Did I take my medicine? I should probably do some work today... Wait... I wonder what's playing at the movies?
Voc1Vic2@reddit
What's this about target practice during storms? I'm pretty sure this is not allowed at any zoo, even when the weather is good.
Vianegativa95@reddit
I actually have ADHD and I can't stand to pay attention to any of these jokes.
Chemistry11@reddit (OP)
I have ADHD myself. This was a fun one to write because it required no effort, just a natural flow. I kept it short. lol
armahillo@reddit
I’m sitting and that seems to help. A bit overplayed as a joke though.
wagoneer56@reddit
I stopped reading halfway through. Only came back because I realized the irony.
Waitsfornoone@reddit
... and then - Oh wait - Squirrel!
fl_oating_mess@reddit
My psychiatrist asked how ADHD affects my relationships. I said, “Well, I get bored of people halfway through their sentences… but at least I don’t remember the guilt for long.”