My child told me that I was an out of touch old fool.

It made me want to thrash the young scallawag with my buggy whip.

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It's true, I saw it on the World Wide Web.

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So I poked his arm. I might be an old fool, but no one can call me out of touch when I reach out to them like that!

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I knew Norm wasn’t dead. It’s Elvia all over again!

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Why would you use a whip to smash bugs?

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They're BIG bugs! At least I think I've got 20 stupid Chautauqua.

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That bucko is crusin’ for a brusin’. Put up your dukes, it’s time for a knuckle sandwich.

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That child needs to be bonked on the head, boinked in both eyes, and punched in the belly.

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I was so mad, I took back the AOL CD I'd given him.

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😂 This literally made me laugh out loud!

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Was the rapscallion standing on your lawn?

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That's just because of the restraining order

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You should have called them: “A vain, greedy, cruel Child!”

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I told him that he could have the pick of churches to go to

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Time for those whippersnappers to get in line and show some respect.

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So I sent him to confession.

Now he'll know what an old fools touch is like