The pope is on an airplane working on a crossword puzzle.

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

Pope jokes it is!

So the Pope is having a conversation with Aliens from Mars.

Pope: "Do you know Jesus?"

Alien: "Oh, Jesus. Great guy. He comes to our planet twice every year."

Pope: "Every year?! It's about two millennia and we're still waiting for his second coming."

Alien: "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate."

Pope: "Chocolate?"

Alien: "Every time he visits, we gather the best chocolate from each manufacturing plant and give them to him before he leaves. Why, what did you do the first time he came here?"

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

Time to quit the jokes section methinks. This is worse than unfunny. This is tortuous.

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Slut_Ella@reddit

Jesus when he was being hung on the cross

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

I have no idea what you mean. Do you?

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

Erm… jokes don’t quite work like that. They aren’t a private concept. (There’s no such thing as a joke only the teller thinks is funny).

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Slut_Ella@reddit

Oh I'm sure other people will find it funny even if you don't.

But just in case you truly don't get what the "that's what he said" they were referring to the last sentence of your reply where you said "This is torturous" as being hung on a cross is quite literally torture and they were implying Jesus said that while quite literally being tortured

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

Oh I’m sure other people won’t. They were referring to? Who’s “they”? So many “they’s” when only you referred to Jesus. Have you been drinking?

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Slut_Ella@reddit

Ah so your being wilfully ignorant, ok. Byeee

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mrjane7@reddit

Bahaha, this was a great little thread to read. Mr. Thunder totally missed the joke and Ms. Ella stuck the landing. Great stuff.

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

Ok mister misogyny. I, personally, don’t think life is improved by a “joke” which relies on a foul expletive for female reproductive organs for a “punchline”

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mrjane7@reddit

C'mon, dude. No one uses that word to describe that. Pretty creepy if they do. It's obviously an insult. Unless you're Australian.

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

No one uses that word to describe what? Do you understand the concept of an expletive? Apparently not. It is a term - arguably the worst term - used to insult someone. But why should female genitalia be the worst thing to call someone? The worst thing to be associated with? The term most likely to start a fight on a Saturday night? Misogyny. No wonder women in 2025 suffer sexual harassment (and worse) on a shocking scale in 2025. It starts with reductive language like this. And for eagerness of those to defend it and ridicule me for daring to even raise it (see the voting above) suggests we’ve got an awful long way to go to defeat the AndrewTate philosophy.

T

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

Wilfully ignorant of who? You? Them?

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linux1970@reddit

Joke taken from Weinersmith

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

It may well have been, but I just borrowed it from an earlier Reddit post.

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Jim_Des5134@reddit

That's where I recognized it from.

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halbeshendel@reddit

In classic Reddit fashion.

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corpboy@reddit

I like this joke, but I'm confused about the background. Is the Pope on Mars? Is the alien visiting earth? Has the pope died and is conversing with other species in Heaven?

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Expensive-Wedding-14@reddit

"... Aliens from Mars.... "

I'm guessing that the joke takes place on Earth.

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bloomindaedalus@reddit

Mars makes chocolate bars.

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Expensive-Wedding-14@reddit

"Mars Needs Women" (1968)

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atlcog@reddit

Poorly told War and Peas ripoff: https://i0.wp.com/warandpeas.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/alien-press-conference.jpg

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Stairs-So-Flimsy@reddit

Honestly, I heard this joke when I was a teenager and it was told to me by an old person then...

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

What disgusting man would post this “joke” (unless he was an incel)?

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MinFootspace@reddit

The Pope wrote "Hunt" because he thought of Helen Hunt.

What word were YOU thinking about?

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iconsumemyown@reddit

Bunt, of course, like women "bunting " in baseball.

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

What a bunt (said all women everywhere) 😂

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iconsumemyown@reddit

Not women who know baseball lingo.

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razors_so_yummy@reddit

LOL this is classic, keep destroying him!

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

lol? Keep destroying me? Tap away keyboard warrior whilst you further destroy your hopes of every making a woman laugh 😂

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MtPollux@reddit

You had the time to compose and type a clever yet biting comeback, and this is what you came up with??

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razors_so_yummy@reddit

.........English much?

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

I’m not English. Could you be any more stupid?

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

What a stupid comment

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MinFootspace@reddit

I didn't want to let you be the only one posting stupid comments.

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

Andrew Tate is your idol? Only an incel would base a “joke” where the punchline relies on a woman’s intimate part as a term of abuse.

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bobbybob9069@reddit

Except yhe punchline isn't the foul word, it's the subversion of expectations that someone would default to such a crass, crude, vulgar term. Let alone the pope.

If anything the joke highlights how inappropriate the term is to describe women since it shouldn't be ANYONE'S default.

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

You really don’t understand the concept of a joke. I expect you think deconstructing knock knock jokes makes you Ludwig Wittgenstein. (Who?). Exactly! 😂

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MinFootspace@reddit

Only an incel would add "69" to his username.

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

It’s my birthyear dumbass. What a disappointment you must be to your parents (if you could find them)

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bobbybob9069@reddit

Except yhe punchline isn't the foul word, it's the subversion of expectations that someone would default to such a crass, crude, vulgar term. Let alone the pope.

If anything the joke highlights how inappropriate the term is to describe women since it shouldn't be ANYONE'S default.

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razors_so_yummy@reddit

Dude just stop cuz he is absolutely destroying you

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JohnnyThunder_69@reddit

So you are the don of stupidity? Enjoy

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HawkeyeJosh2@reddit

He wrote “runt”, right?

Right?

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NoWingedHussarsToday@reddit

Runt is not gender specific so it wouldn't be the answer to "word for a woman"

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-Rise-united-@reddit

Okay smart guy, so what else could he have written?

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RecalcitrantHuman@reddit

What a silly bunt .

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Good_Ad_1386@reddit

Unexpected Python detected

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skadalajara@reddit

Uhh, that'll get you put on a list.

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Slut_Ella@reddit

He had a wife you know

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johnp299@reddit

Pope is an Archer fan, so Cheryl Tunt,

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uisgeoflife@reddit

The British version of the English language* has the words "bunt" and "bint" ("moistened bint" for the Lady of the Lake)? Isn't that overkill?

(* intentional provoking here)

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Acrobatic-Shirt8540@reddit

The Pope goes into a public toilet. While he's in there, he decides to have a quick wank.

A photographer has seen him go in, and can hear him wanking, so puts his camera over the top of the stall and films him.

The Pope spots the camera and races out of the cubicle.
"I need that camera!" he says.

"Sure", says the photographer, "ten grand, and it's yours".

Reluctantly, the Pope pays up.

Later on, he's showing off his new camera in the Vatican. One of the bishops asks him how much he paid for it.

"Ten thousand euro".

The bishop just laughs and says "that guy must've seen you coming!"

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Sea-Government-9302@reddit

But did he have his popes hat on?

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JuicyJibJab@reddit

I don't get it, the last line doesn't seem to have a double meaning? "that guy must've seen you cumming" makes sense as the euphemism, but the original statement using "coming" doesn't?

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halbeshendel@reddit

Must have seen you coming is a way to say you got ripped off. So here it’s a double entendre.

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JuicyJibJab@reddit

Okay thanks for the clarification, not sure how I've never heard that phrase used in that way before.

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halbeshendel@reddit

It's kind of old timey American slang. Boomers and Gen X would know it immediately. Foreigners and younger people, maybe not.

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Acrobatic-Shirt8540@reddit

Not just American. I'm Scottish. And Gen X.

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matt_likes_reddit@reddit

The phrase "must have seen you coming" basically means that someone was prepared in advance with some plan to trick you because they saw you coming and decided that you looked gullible.

In this case, it means that someone scammed the Pope by tricking him into paying much more for the camera than it's worth.

More info/examples

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JuicyJibJab@reddit

Makes sense, bizarre that I've never heard that phrase before

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squrr1@reddit

I'm already laughing after the first line, no need to read on

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almighty_crj@reddit

Two Ronnies Crossword sketch:

Corbett "Last clue: Found at the bottom of a bird cage, four letters - something, something, I, T"

Barker "...Grrrrit!"

Nun: "of course, grit! ...has anyone got a rubber?"

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After-Aardvark1433@reddit

A condom ,,,,,,,……nnnnb

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Ok_Way2102@reddit

I loved the two Ronnies. They were so good.

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ChiefSlug30@reddit

And it's goodnight from him.

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Gold_Stephanie@reddit

Now goodnight from both of them sadly

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FreedomPretty6893@reddit

This was awesome and even better when I told some church going family members

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SmartToecap@reddit

You know it’s r/jokes when you open the post and your mouth doesn’t move

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TriGN614@reddit

He must have written “bunt” “hunt” or “runt” or “punt”

Those were definitely the first words that came to my mind

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3point21@reddit

I’m going to hell.

I’m also going to Reddit Hell for not using 20 characters.

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JonnyRottensTeeth@reddit

Looking at today's christians, would you want it any other way?

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bigfootspancreas@reddit

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

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Waitsfornoone@reddit

This is how you do 20 characters without a sweat.

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aSingleHelix@reddit

Is there a new thing about 20 character comments?

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Mechasteel@reddit

Yes.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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aSingleHelix@reddit

Well that's new... ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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shlmgbr@reddit

Understandable have a great day!

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Smooth_Detective@reddit

Isee,l.......... So that's what's up

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Auditorincharge@reddit

When I think about spending eternity in heaven with all the self-righteous Christians, or I can go to hell where the smokers, drinkers, gamblers, drug users, and adulterers go, the choice isn't hard to make. It sounds like it's one big party in hell.

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Free51@reddit

Meh, Hopefully there’s an afterlife that isn’t Christian so there’s none of the self righteous crap

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Fuzzybo@reddit

That’s what they want you to think…

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Westfield88@reddit

Don’t worry it only feels like an eternity

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SnooFloofs1805@reddit

Fingers on the side of your head as you flip your tounge. Classic Seinfeld.

Equal to get the newspaper. You're going to hell anyway.

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Mechasteel@reddit

Why 20?ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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orosoros@reddit

I think you can't post a reply shorter than that?

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Mechasteel@reddit

Oh.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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Mechasteel@reddit

I see. So his post "I'm going to hell." was only 18 characters, so he added "I’m also going to Reddit Hell for not using 20 characters." to get past 20.

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AZGrowler@reddit

Was the neighbor's name Dave, by any chance?

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mnatheist@reddit

I regret that I have just one upvote to give your comment.

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Slut_Ella@reddit

Downvote it first and it will look like 2 lol

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Bronyatsu@reddit

There's a version of this in hungarian where a bishop and a cardinal send in their solutions to the local newspaper's crossword. The joke is that they fill in "the orifice of love" with "ass" and "pussy" but the answer is "mouth" because that's what you say "I love you" with.

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