5 minutes of helping a colleague = cookies and a thank you note.
Posted by speddie23@reddit | talesfromtechsupport | View on Reddit | 71 comments
A colleague of mine that works in finance downloaded a Comma Separated Values (CSV) file from a bank, and opened it in Excel as she always does.
Said file was basically all the transactions for a particular month.
What happened is it only showed about a third of the data that was expected in the Excel file. It would get to a particular cell and that would be the end of the data in Excel, although she could see on the webpage that there was lots more transactions.
All other months were fine just this one file for that one particar month.
So she calls our internal help desk. They take a look and say it must be something wrong with the bank or the file, and suggested they contact the bank.
She contacts her bank via phone, they say they don't know what to do, but to contact the (business banking) team via email.
She contacts the (business banking) team via email, they say they can't assist with this, but to contacts the banks internal IT Helpdesk
She contacts the banks internal IT Helpdesk who say they only assist bank employees and not the public, and suggested she calls our own internal Helpdesk.
Eventually she messages me on Teams and says although she knows this isn't what I look at, she has spent 2 hours contacting various teams and no one will assist.
I head over to her desk to take a look and notice where the data discrepancy between the website and csv file is, there is a single quotation mark, ie a " as one of the fields has a single quotation mark in it.
With a csv file, if you want to have something literal in there, like a comma, you need to put a quotation mark at the beginning and end of something, such as ","
Opening the file in notepad, I could see that all the data after the quotation mark was not showing in Excel, and in the entire CSV file there was only the single quotation mark. All the data was in the CSV file.
So removed the quotation mark and saved the file. I then opened it in Excel and all the data was showing as expected.
So it seems with Excel, if you have a CSV with a single quotation mark and no 2nd quotation mark to delimit it, it will just ignore all data after the quotation mark.
I explain this to my colleagues, who is just ecstatic that this is working now, and understands what is going on.
The next morning when I come into the office, on my desk is a big basket of freshly baked cookies and a handwritten note.
The note explains how without me working out what was wrong, she would have had to spend several hours copying and pasting, field by field, for hundreds of lines from the website to Excel.
highinthemountains@reddit
5 years ago I retired from IT work, but I still help family members with their IT related problems. My only charge is a dozen chocolate chip cookies. Over the last few years I’ve helped my sister in law a number of times, but no cookies. The last time I went to help her, I told her what the charge was and that if I didn’t see any cookies soon, that this would be last time that I would help her. No cookies came for that job, so when she called again for help I gave her the number for the local IT support company and said good luck, see ya later. She called them and they wanted $125/hr, which she balked at.
She called me back and asked how many dozen she already owed me (3) and would I come fix her problem. Nope, cookies first, now 4 dozen to include pre-payment. I got my cookies and her problem was fixed in about 15 minutes. She finally gets it that even though I’m retired, that I won’t work for free.
GuestStarr@reddit
So 192 cookies were roughly equal to $125.. sounds about right hourly rate. Be careful with the inflation, cookies are not affected by that.
Strazdas1@reddit
But cookies do inflate one you put them into the oven?
GuestStarr@reddit
Don't overthink it, just enjoy the cookies.
Strazdas1@reddit
If i just enjoy cookies then its my belly that inflates.
bobk2@reddit
Unlevened cookies might not inflate. But a dozen is twelved, not elevend
highinthemountains@reddit
I’ll have to check where the ingredients come from, the tariffs might cause problems too
Ridcully@reddit
Try working with CSV files that might use commas or semicolons as delimiters (it's special fun when dealing with currencies that may use a decimal or a comma , like 1.53 USD versus 1,53 EUR), double quotes and single quotes depending, dates in EU format or US format, international characters and non-printable unicode characters.
Nice to hear you had a good ending though!
grogite@reddit
This is why you want a pipe “|” delimited file if you can get them.
Corvald@reddit
Most of the time that works better. Until we encountered someone who entered his name as John Doe ||| - with pipes instead of i’s!
XkF21WNJ@reddit
Ugh. I've found libreoffice a lot better at working with Excel files for what it's worth.
Though really a single quotation mark is an excellent way of messing up CSV readers. Good ones would complain at some point, but really everything after the quotation mark should technically be the same cell, including newlines. Unless of course the particular flavour of CSV doesn't use quotes, or different quotes.
simeumsm@reddit
I've found that libreoffice is better at handling csv files by default, but that doesn't mean that you can't usually fix Excel misreading csv files with a bit of PowerQuery magic.
I've once seen teams using libreoffice just for converting csv -> xlsx using libreoffice, because no one would actually use libreoffice instead of excel
spaceraverdk@reddit
Eh, sure, it can do csv just fine, but stripping coloumns and editing it to a nice format sure still sucks.
There's probably a bash script for that.
Strazdas1@reddit
libre is good if you never use it :)
DanNeely@reddit
The last time I tried it (6 or 8 years ago?), LibreOffice choked on big data dump sheets. I had one that was IIRC ~10k lines by 200 columns. It was slightly laggy just scrolling around which was annoying enough; the real killer - and why I ended up with a copy of Excel despite my then employer being all in on Google (which flat out refused to open the file) - was that trying to filter columns with near unique values (ex names) would time out and fail. Excel happily filtered as quickly as i typed even when the hell report grew to ~40k x 400 in size.
NotYetReadyToRetire@reddit
I found out early on in my career that an evening baking chocolate chip cookies paid huge dividends in having future requests be acted upon favorably. Any time I needed special favors, or needed forgiveness for some infraction, 144 freshly baked chocolate chip cookies saved the day.
Apprehensive_Food938@reddit
I used to bribe my Network specialists with a Tiramusu if they could expedite a job for me. Even had the head honcho talk a mate through settings on a Cisco switchthat he was trying to install.
My Tiramusu was legend in the company as it contained Kahlua and Baileys which made it an ADULT desert.
ZacQuicksilver@reddit
I have heard for years that Swedish Fish sent with something you need fixed is the standard remote "thank you in advance for helping me" treat.
EruditeLegume@reddit
Yep - assuming a 'Swedish Fish' is the same as a 'Chocolate Fish'.
My wife is a senior RN at our local hospital. Any time she needs Tech Support, she turns up with 1/2 dozen chocolate fish (we keep Costco-size bags of them in our freezer...)
Surprisingly, she gets great service!
syntaxerror53@reddit
An ex-colleague used to do this.
"I'm not coming to sort your problems out. Unless you make me a brew, and biscuits would be nice?"
Mostly got a brew out of them.
derKestrel@reddit
128 cookies might have even been better :)
speddie23@reddit (OP)
256 is even better than that
derKestrel@reddit
That sounds like too much work, best I can do is 64 cookie bits then.
Sigwynne@reddit
How about 16 now, 16 next week....
Followed by which did you like best: snickerdoodles, chocolate chip, oatmeal/trail mix (better than oatmeal raisin IMO) or the shortbread?
Unless your IT team is really big, too many cookies at once might be too much.
Gadgetman_1@reddit
I work in IT. There is no such thing as 'too many cookies'...
Rathmun@reddit
Only if they're physical food. There are definitely too many digital tracking cookies.
NotYetReadyToRetire@reddit
I was bringing them into a service provider's operations staff; they had 18-20 people per shift. A few times when I knew I'd need cooperation (as in letting me stay after hours during second shift, which wasn't supposed to be allowed) I'd bring in two sets of cookies, one for each of the two shifts I was imposing upon. My record was 3 sets, when I needed to be there for half of 3rd shift, all of 1st and half of 2nd. My boss let me expense the cost of the ingredients when he found out how I was getting more latitude than the rest of the team.
Sigwynne@reddit
I'm more familiar with smaller groups working for smaller companies. For that last job, 512 would probably be about right. And being on the good side of IT never hurts.
TUmBeRTIce@reddit
All gone in 8 bites
Lynch_67816653@reddit
of course: a power of two to a degree which is also a power of two will sound much tastier to a geek
HerfDog58@reddit
There's nothing like a 127.0.0.1 baked cookie!
cbftw@reddit
That's a gross amount of cookies
AbbyM1968@reddit
I saw what you did there 😉
arenwel@reddit
And it's on your cake day that you said this ! Congrats. Now stop fiddling with that jewelry in your pocket, we don't want you to vanish !
Wells1632@reddit
I saw "CSV File" and "Only half imported into Excel" and just knew this was going to be a quotation issue.
Shinhan@reddit
And of course the bank is at fault, but good luck getting them to fix their CSV export procedures to do proper quoting.
Although with same problem my first attempts would be opening the CSV in Libreoffice and Google Sheets to see if one of those has more luck in opening the file.
vertizone@reddit
I think this is the real follow up - messaging back to the bank, w/ a consistent repro and explanation ... and then see if they do anything about it.
I wouldn't hold my breath, but ... then again, the way banks are regulated, might be that it's a regulatory issue for them to provide it in an unreadable format?
NoiseyCat@reddit
One time I helped someone with an internal website because my boss asked me to and they send me a Christmas card for 3 years
rimshotmonkey@reddit
I work in IT and find many coworkers have no idea how handy notepad can be.
anubisviech@reddit
I wouldn't be surprised if that missing data was all cramped into a single cell, just not displayed. Either that or Excel stopped parsing when the file ended looking for the closing ".
LadyCiani@reddit
Oh man. I'm an end user, and I deal with alllll kinds of shit in CSV files, because the source data has so much shit in it.
If my IT figured that out for me I'd be thrilled too.
Strazdas1@reddit
and sometimes its shit from things that should know better. For example python default CSV formatting will have quites on strings that include commas but no quotes around other strings because fuck consistent user experience. Had to write a script to cycle through and force quotes before exporting to CSV.
ManWhoIsDrunk@reddit
It's even better when the csv-file has a few unescaped commas in it... Or no newline...
speddie23@reddit (OP)
Add commas to your passwords to mess with the CSV file they will be dumped into after being breached.
Until next time.
deeseearr@reddit
You need to validate their security first. Set your password to this string so that you can confirm that they're not storing it as plain text:
If their entire application suddenly goes down then make a note to never trust them with anything more valuable than the Colonel's Secret Recipe.
Rathmun@reddit
That only validates that they're not storing it in plaintext on a system with active antivirus. Always consider the worst case scenario, they're storing it in plaintext on an unprotected system.
Strazdas1@reddit
also include a script to install a rootkit as your password.
lunicorn@reddit
And style your username after Little Bobby Droptables.
Optimal-Condition803@reddit
There's always a relevant XKCD
harrywwc@reddit
ahhh… CSVs vs Excel.
As most probably don't know, Excel has a row limit of just over 1 Million.
For most purposes, that's ok. But for log-file analysis (of multi million lines), not so much. I was asked by a colleague on how to work around this limitation.
So, as she was on a Mac, I threw together a quick bash script with some AWK(1) to grab the header line, and then peel off the next (default) 100,000 lines and iterate until eof, throwing the header line at the top of each new file. This meant that the file(s) could then be loaded in Excel, and then filtered to find the 'lies' that someone had told the service desk agent in their ticket.
Again, had a happy camper when it was delivered :)
Strazdas1@reddit
if you got >1 million line excel will warn you and refuses to load the file at all.
Instead of new files you could also used new worksheets inside excel, still all in one file and 1 million lines per sheet and 1,048,576 sheets per file.
Strazdas1@reddit
Excel shouldnt have ignored that data, just put ALL of it in a single cell which may be practically unreadable. There are also other symbols that break the lines in CSVs and i hate when people use it because it always means manual fixing.
Hebrewhammer8d8@reddit
What kind of cookies?
speddie23@reddit (OP)
This is the correct follow up question.
Choc chip.
GuestStarr@reddit
This will grant you rapid intervention from the IT troops any time of the day. They'll drop anything less important than chocolate chip cookies (that is, well, everything) to help you out. Just call them and tell them there will be cookies. Don't forget to deliver, though. If you forget, you might bump into some very unexpected and weird computer issues in immediate future.
RDMcMains2@reddit
We need more stories like this, where users are not only reasonable, but grateful when TS comes through for them.
vinyljunkie1245@reddit
I'm a user and I'm always grateful! Hopefully I'm reasonable too!
rhoduhhh@reddit
One day, I will post mine. 😂 I have stayed at this job because both the users and my manager are so grateful for my efforts, lol.
Loko8765@reddit
To tide you over, here’s one of my first stories on here, from like eight years ago. It’s about a customer…
https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/s/P3xuWaIMBO
jeffrey_f@reddit
Maybe create a script to pre-cleanse the data? Just a thought.
Kant_Lavar@reddit
I've never met any of my users in person. I've always been just doing remote support.
HaplessReader1988@reddit
If that problem is in the downloaded file I'd love it if she would tell the bank resources who refused to help!
lunicorn@reddit
Sometimes having been around in the old days when this was much more common is helpful. I knew what the problem and solution would likely be right away.
Bakkie@reddit
I did this with one of our township government officials who helped me a great deal. The rules put a limit on the value and type of gifts a government person can receive, but a double batch of homemade cookies and a note is not a bribe.
Nice job OP. Even nicer co-worker. You have lucked out.
kuulmonk@reddit
Many years ago, early Windows 95 era, I was working as a field engineer and got sent to a customer to set up their new PC. Easy job, and while waiting we got to chatting, as you do. I had noticed they had a lot of books, the place was more like a library than an office.
"Oh, we are Terry Prattchet's agents," they said.
As I was a fan, we got to discussing various books etc, and they then asked if I could help them sort out a small problem on their old computer. Apparently, they could not run a game they were trying out on their old Dos and Win 3.11 PC. I spent about 30 minutes checking a few settings in the various start-up files. A quick config chance to the start-up files to allocate a little more memory and the game ran at last.
As a thank you I was given a Discworld Tee shirt and a copy of the lastest Discworld adventure game, with Rincewind voiced by Eric Idle.
Sigwynne@reddit
Drool. Envy. Drool.
I guess I just need to keep paying for my own.
emax4@reddit
Great job! It's awesome when the problems have a simpler solution than expected.
I used to work for a managed service provider but only working for one client on site. My other coworkers were in the home office working with multiple small businesses. One of those small clients had an Excel issue that neither the owner or the other coworkers could resolve. Being that I like working with Excel, they reached out to me. I looked at the data and found out they had formatted a number as text or something minor. I had already made a copy of it and fixed it, but ran my coworker through the same steps to show him what to look for. Everyone was happy, and I felt good. I just didn't get any delicious cookies like you, haha.
AshleyJSheridan@reddit
I've always found Libre Calc much better at dealing with CSV files than Excel. If it's not weird stuff like this delimiter issue, it's date and number formats, which Excel always seems to find a way to screw up. No Excel, that column of phone numbers is not a column of numbers, so stop trying to remove leading zeros and put the entire column into scientific notation!
PercyFlage@reddit
Excellent!
camel_hopper@reddit
It may have only been a 5 minute fix for you, but she’d probably spent over an hour contacting people by that point, with the prospect of hours more work.
speddie23@reddit (OP)
Yep, my colleague mentioned 2 hours at that point.