I'm back in corp IT after 5 long years in the MSP management space. I'm managing all of US IT for a small manufacturing company [$USCorp] with a half dozen sites thats part of a larger global company [$GranFrabricante]. I'm still finding all the weird nooks & crannies in the systems and the idiosyncracies of the offices & plants. Typical new guy stuff.

Last week, I pop down to our engineering group and I overhear the $EngineeringDirector on the phone with someone:

$EngineeringDirector "No, no, click the little speaker icon. Yeah, right click.."

Wisely, I back out of the engineering area. If its a real problem, he'll get a ticket started. Our engineering group works in one space, and they're all there, so I cannot imagine who he's talking to, but if its a problem for me, I'll eventually catch it. I like when users can effect a "Tier 0" fix.

An hour or so later, I get a phone call to my deskphone from an unknown area code. Could be some vendor finally returnhing my call about something, so snag it.

$Me: "$USCorp, TheITCustodian speaking."

$Voice: "Hi, my name is $Mike, I work for $USCorp. I'm remote on the East Coast, I work for $EngineeringDirector and I'm having problems with the sound on my laptop."

I'd never heard of a $Mike who works remotely, but was able to put two and two together. (to be safe, I IM'd the $EngineeringDirector to confirm this isn't some rando.. Nope, $Mike is our employee, does indeed work in another region of the country and not in any of our facilities)

So I set about to help him. Because, you know, I'm a helpful guy.

Me: "OK, $Mike, lets see if we can do a remote session.."

Problem #1: My predecessor. a guy I'll call $Bob, relied on TeamViewer, but in the 3 months between $Bob's departure & my arrival, the subscription lapsed and was canceled. In any event, there's no credentials for the admin login (yet), so basically TeamViewer is out for now. This is one of like 55 or 60 different things I've discovered in the last month, and while I am slowly but surely reducing the list of "shit $Bob did poorly or not at all," TeamViewer wasn't that high on the list yet.

[Side Note: I'm deploying a remote managment tool, because holy god going from an MSP environment with a full range of remote management and control tools to a company with expired TeamViewer is like trying to play pingpong with both hands tied behind your back. You don't realize how good you had it until suddenly you don't... LOL. Plus, I discovered, $Bob patently refused to update computers. Like: not at all. I have some computers that are still on the first version of Windows 11. Nevermind all the security releases, etc. And then all the Windows 10 machines. And Windows 8. and Windows 7.... <sigh>]

I look, $MIke's PC hasn't gotten the new remote agent. Oh, of course not: he's remote, probably doesn't ever use the VPN, so he'd never have gotten the GPO deployment of the remote agent.

I email him a link to install the remote agent

$Me: "Lets click on that link.."

Problem #2: $Bob doled out admin rights on the local computers to only a select few (still no rhyme or reason I have found) but poor $Mike who is 100% remote has no ability to do anything if an admin login pops up. And of course: in the 3 months since $Bob left, $GranFrabricante corporate IT changed the domain admin password. Meaning $Mike might have a cached admin login on the PC, but I have NO idea what the "old" domain admin password was. (yes, password mangement is yet another thing on my list, along with PAM, etc)

So now I'm struggling.

$GranFrabricante uses Google Workspace (corporate dictate). I suddenly had the bright idea to start a Google Meet with $Mike and have him do a screen share so I can coach him. $Bob even used the same password for a lot of admin function (yes, I'm changing them as I find them!), so maybe I can do an admin login by guessing the password once I can see the guy's screen.

$Me: "Ok, so click on the screen share icon down in the lower center of the Google Meet window."

$Mike: "I don't see it."

$Me: "Its the little up-arrow in a box, next to the hand icon"

$Mike: "I don't know what that is."

$Me: "Hold on a sec, let me do this."

I screen shot the whole toolbar at the bottom of the Meet window and and then share my screen and show him.

$Mike: "Oh, OK." "Now what?"

$Me: "In that pop up screen, pick 'Entire Screen' in the upper right."

$Mike: "I don't see that."

$Me: "What, really?

I screenshot the pop up window and add an arrow pointing to "Entire Screen". I share my screen and show him that.

$Mike: "I don't have that."

$Me: "Wait, what pops up?"

$Mike: "A screen but I can click Share or Cancel."

$Me: "There aren't three tabs across the top, Chrome Tab, Window and Entire Screen?"

$Mike: "Oh, yeah, entire screen.

$Me: "Great, just click that and then pick Screen 1"

$Mike: "I, uh, I don't know how to do that."

Mind you, this whole time I can see him via his webcam and he's looking all over the place but not always at his screen.

$Me: "hmmm, OK, Mike, let me think for a minute.. Lets-"

Then, finally, Problem #3, the biggest one of all, crops up.

$Mike hangs up his phone, gets up from his computer and walks away.

I'm astonished. Whats going on?

I call him back. No answer.

Of course, he has no sound so he can't hear me via the computer.

I stay on the Google Meet 10 more minutes then hang up. I walk down to the engineering group.

$Me: "Hey, so yeah, I was just on the horn with $Mike and, uh, we were having a hard time doing doing some fairly basic stuff.."

$EngineeringDirector: "Oh, thats $Mike. He's brilliant at what he does, but, uh, he had kind of a mental break down about a year or so ago. Major depression, hospitalization, he hasn't been very right since."

$Me: (channeling Andy in 40 Year Old Virgin) "Uh huh, ya think?"

$EngineeringDirector: "He told me he was in the hospital last week, even. Yeah, he has a hard time doing really basic tasks.."

$Me: "Well, he hung up the phone and just walked away mid-sentence. I have no clue whats going on."

$EngineeringDirector: "Yeah, he does that."

I tried so hard not to eye-roll. Come on man, don't you think that if you have an employee that can't respond to instructions you'd at least give your IT folks a heads up?

$EngineeringDirector works out with $Mike last week that this week he will fly here to our US HQ in the midwest so we can sort his shit out. They haven't seen $Mike in awhile, anyway, good to get some face time. Except: $Mike basically went off grid. Didn't respond to $EngineeringDirector, and then Monday finally surfaces with a litany of excuses involving his meds and the airline, etc.

$Me: "So, he's coming tomorrow? Wednesday?"

$EngineeringDirector:

Last week passed and no $Mike at HQ. I think the next communication with $Mike is going to be "We're shipping you a pre-paid box. Please put all your company shit in it and take it to the UPS store and we'll send you your final paycheck once we receive your undamaged equipment." (probably not precisely that, for labor & wage reasons, but you get the drift)

So yeah, I've done a lot of tech support in the last 30 years. Thats my first time experiencing a guy with an honest to god mental illness that prevents him from responding accurately to questions, or, you know, acting like an adult.