A lawyer sold his well to an old man

Posted by WorldlyReplacement63@reddit | Jokes | View on Reddit | 32 comments

Two days later, the lawyer came to the old man and said, "Sir, I sold you the well, but it's not with the water inside! If you want to use the water, you will have to pay extra."

The old man smiled and replied, "Yes, I was about to come to you. I was going to say that you should take your water from my well, or else you will have to start paying rent from tomorrow."

[-]

elmwoodblues@reddit

A friend was buying a house, and the owner offered to sell him the pool table in the basement for like $2500. Friend couldn't afford it, said no. Weeks later the price came down to $1000, still no. At the walk-thru, the table was still there, and at the closing the guy said he would 'let it go' for $250. Turns out the seller had put up a wall along the stairway and couldn't get the table out. Friend's closing attorney offered the seller a 'reasonable storage fee' for having his table in the new owner's house. Seller ended up pleading with my friend to just take the damn table.

Its a nice table.

[-]

the_cardfather@reddit

Almost every real estate transaction that I've been involved with states that anything left after the keys are transferred that isn't specifically stated conveys.

[-]

ENMFC@reddit

When I bought my house at closing the sellers asked if they could have till the weekend to finish moving and I could meet them on Saturday to get the keys. I said that was fine. Go on Saturday to get the keys and they were pulling out as I pulled in. I asked where the keys were and they said inside on the piano. WTF. Tried like he'll to give it away wound up pushing it through the door and lighting it on fire. Thank God I live out in the country.

[-]

Sandy_NSFW_@reddit

What??? Can you translate in English the sentence that starts with "Tried like..."? I don't understand anything.

[-]

Psycho_Si@reddit

it's a typo, he meant 'hell', not 'he'll'. basically, he tried really hard.

[-]

Sandy_NSFW_@reddit

Oh, I get it "I tried really hard to give the piano away. I ended up pushing out of the door (in the garden) and burning it". Correct?

[-]

Galaghan@reddit

He tried "like hell" to give it away for free, but failed since nobody wanted it. He ended up pushing it out into the yard and burned it, just to get rid of it.

[-]

Coffee-Room@reddit

20 years ago I got 3k off my house because I didn’t want the jacuzzi they offered to sell me. Turns out it was practically impossible to move out (I chopped it in 3-4 pieces and paid some guys 100$ to throw it away). Joke is real life.

[-]

chemistcarpenter@reddit

Same thing with my house. Except I did not want that massive pool table in the finished basement. It cost the government 3K to get that pool table out and moved to another state where seller was re-stationed. I did however agree to keep the professional gym setup.

[-]

BosoxH60@reddit

US military (assuming) PCS moves are limited by weight (which is determined by rank and if you have family or not).

A) I wouldn’t be surprised if the way the contracts work with government moves, the vendor gets paid the same whether 100lbs total, or right at the limit.

B) If their weight limit was exceeded due to the pool table, I think the person is responsible for paying, not the government. If they’re not over the limit, it doesn’t really matter… pool table or 10k lbs of books.

[-]

Chon-Laney@reddit

The house next-door was being flipped by a house-flipper.

They came to me to discuss my share of the new fence.

"All men are brothers. I do not desire to be separated from my brother. I do not want a fence."

The new fence is 18 inches north of the old fence, which I removed as soon as the new one was finished. Free real estate!

[-]

orbesomebodysfool@reddit

Years ago I was buying a car and it was pre-installed with some security system. They told me it was $2K and I told them I didn’t want. They lowered the price to $1K and still told them I didn’t want it. Then they claimed they found some manufacturer credit for $1K and the security system was free. I told them I still didn’t want it and to please remove it.

They asked me if I would agree to keep the security and I could keep the $1K credit. I said yes.

[-]

JimsVanLife@reddit

That's good, or better than the joke, even without being a joke.

[-]

Gil-Gandel@reddit

I've never done this, but it's on my bucket list.

[-]

tlbs101@reddit

To use a bucket to draw water from a well???

[-]

Belsizois@reddit

Years ago I sold my first home with a very nice basement. It had great fireplaces, and I was bummed to have to leave about $500 in high quality firewood, all bug free, dried and cross stacked, off the ground and away from the wall. We were moving into a place without a fireplace. Damn I loved that wood.

A couple months after the sale my lawyer got a letter from the buyers lawyer, telling me we had to remove it because it was a fire hazard! We did not respond.

[-]

Ok-Number-8293@reddit

Angles, life is all about angles seeing them using them and not being someone else’s. I love angles

[-]

Quirky-Issue7025@reddit

Are you acute, or obtuse?

[-]

madthouse@reddit

Who knows. He is definitely not straight.

[-]

corporalcrocodile@reddit

The lawyer will not feel well.

[-]

TheOther1@reddit

He was out of his depth

[-]

SiIentB0B@reddit

When I bought my house, it came with a rental hot water heater.
I chose to have my own installed, and asked the gas company (owner of the old tank) to pick up their piece of hardware.
They told me that they would charge me $150 fee to uninstall it, and take it away; in spite of the fact that it was already uninstalled.
I told them that I would give them to the end of the month before I started charging a storage fee for the old tank.
It took them less than a week to cart it away.

[-]

....

What's blue and fucks old people?

Me in my lucky blue coat

[-]