Well, it;s a mystery...

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NewUserWhoDisAgain@reddit

"Well duh, I spilled it into the laptop not the screen."

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ExtremelyBanana@reddit

oh is the computer in there? I thought it was just a keyboard

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_Terryist@reddit

Is that the bloated pillow-like thing?

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Outside-Rise-3466@reddit

"is that the CPU?" No, the bloated part is the LiION battery, waiting to explode! But don't worry, the Logistics mgr dowsed the fire with coffee. Yup, lithium and water, good combo.

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Ich_mag_Kartoffeln@reddit

No, you can't change it! The cat likes it because it's nice and warm.

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LOOOL you jusrt reminded me of a user who was really angry we only sent him a monitor and keybopard combo but no actual PC, how is he supposed to work without a computer ?? He had been working on a desktop for years but by now laptops where good enough and he got sent a laptop so he can take it to meetings. We went back for TWO FUCKING HOURS which included me opening the laptop to show him the physical computer in his "keyboard monitor combo" trill he finally believed me that no this was a ful blown computer not just a keyboard attached to a screen.

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Strazdas1@reddit

Laptop was a most definite downgrade when they moved to them here. In screen real estate and processing power. I can totally understand people being angry about it.

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hicctl@reddit

he was angry since he thought he only got a keyboard a monitor, and the laptops where way more practical since he had regular meetings and had to go to clients, so actually an upgrade more times then not

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Powerful_Jah_2014@reddit

But how will you decide which two? If you start in january, you're gonna run out of options before you get to february...

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l0rdrav3n@reddit

I'd be out of beating before the 2nd day.

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carycartter@reddit

Did you mean to say lunch on January 1st?

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Overall_Motor9918@reddit

What did he do when he saw a smartphone?

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Shazam1269@reddit

You sure they weren't a time traveler that didn't do their homework for this time period?

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Skerries@reddit

did they try and flush the DNS?

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davethecompguy@reddit

Just did.

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Pisnaz@reddit

I had the near opposite. I come in in the am and my phone rings, it is a guy I know and he is pretty decent but in full panic. The pipe for the fire sprinkler had burst overnight and flooded his office. I head over expecting the worst for the new computer and one of the first LCDs we had ever received. I pop in, chat with the teams there, and my bud, as I grab the systems.

Back at my shop I check them over expecting the worst and notice that despite being filthy the insides are shockingly clean. So we clean them up and turn them on and they work, perfectly. It seems the first gush of water knocked something over on top it his desk and kept them safe. He claimed, after he got them back, they worked better than ever and suggested "we should flood more systems" as our ongoing joke. He even brought me a gift card for coffee despite me saying I really did not do much.

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lucky_ducker@reddit

Where I used to work, the third floor lounge had a water filter / dispenser, which in turn fed filtered water to the refrigerator's ice maker.

One weekend, the line from the filter to the fridge ruptured, and flooded a second floor office. It dripped down directly into an open, powered up, laptop computer. When I was called to check it out, the laptop was sitting there, drenched, looking otherwise totally normal. The keyboard was even still working. I shut it down, turned it upside down, and about a quart of water poured out.

We put the hard drive - not an SSD, but an old fashioned magnetic disk - in a ziploc with silica packets for a few days while we ordered a new laptop for the user. The user's hard drive was not only recoverable, we were able to fully image it for the replacement laptop.

We should have contacted the manufacturer of that water filter for a testimonial.

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UKthailandExpat@reddit

that the computer was powered on at the time is the surprise point. washing motherboards keyboards etc in pure water is quite often done and as long as you do not use mineral water and dry them throughly before powering them up the success rate is well over 95%

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antimidas_84@reddit

The screen "wanted" black "coffee". Easy to mishear. /s

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PaixJour@reddit

OMG kill me now. Please do it quick. 🤣

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meitemark@reddit

"The vial contained 10cc of Quicktime. Whenever it loads, it will be quick, but it will hurt the entire time before that. Please punch yourself in the gonads to accept the install of Java^tm and the latest batch of various malware in the form of browser gadgets."

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Dom_Shady@reddit

It's harsh but true and I'll be the one to say it:

Some users just need to be taken behind the barn and be... rested.

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meitemark@reddit

Most of thise users have never been anywhere cose to a barn. Taking them there is likely to kill them anyway just due to all the nature, the smells from the barn, the dirt, well, pretty much anything that is not their sterile city life.

I almost killed an rock metal player/ amateur goth by driving him 10 minutes outside of my "city". Only 18ish, and he had never seen that much nature. I thought he was joking, but no, this was more nature that he had ever seen, and I forced him to interact with it.

I'm in north norway. Our cities here are so small that 10 minutes in any direction and you come to pretty much pristine nature.

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NotTheOnlyGamer@reddit

I mean, I'm bad at organizing. Thanks to GMail's monstrously bad organization, everything just stays in the Inbox. I also just kind of throw my daily files on my Desktop and move them at the end of the month.

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Equivalent-Salary357@reddit

If it works for you, then it's the way to go.

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meitemark@reddit

Do it right, and you can with ease spot any people that can be your own personal techsupport slaves. Put EVERYTHING on the desktop. Links, documents and pictures.

People that heads looks like they are likely to explode when they see that are techsupport.

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Dreadkiaili@reddit

One day I hear my name and hear, “my monitor won’t come on”. I went over and she told me it was working earlier, but stopped. I start pulling things out to make sure the connection is good between the computer and the monitor and see that she was keeping a plant on her desktop and had clearly just watered it, and got water everywhere.

Me: Cindy, did it stop working right after you watered your plant?

Cindy: OMG yes; how did you guess?!?

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pollrobots@reddit

Why would white coffee turn the screen black?

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MoneyTreeFiddy@reddit

TL;DR, Java crashed computer

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SeanBZA@reddit

Would not be the first or the last time either, both for the physical and the software version.

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AbbyM1968@reddit

🙂😁😄😆 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

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maciarc@reddit

Back in the 57.6 days I did phone support for Flashnet. I had a call where the user "couldn't connect to the internet". I went through all the troubleshooting steps, learning the symptoms by painfully extracting them one by one. After many minutes of troubleshooting and learning that their 'computer' (actually the monitor) was blank, I asked them to make sure the 'computer' and the 'modem' (the actual computer) were both plugged into the wall. That's when they told me they needed a flashlight to check because the power was out.

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ManosVanBoom@reddit

My BIL had a story from his AOL support days. Person in Florida called saying they could get to the internet. While talking he heard a loud sound in the background and asked what it was. "Oh that's the hurricane. The power went out so I thought I'd go on the internet to pass some time."

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Nu-Hir@reddit

I worked for a local ISP. Being in Ohio we wouldn't get hurricanes, but we would get pretty bad storms. Loved the spike in calls after them.

"I'm getting no dial tone"

"If you pick up your phone, do you get a dial tone?"

"No, that's why I'm calling from my cell phone"

The other fun ones were the ones with so much noise in their line you could barely hear them, then having to explain that's the reason why they can't connect.

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thomasnet_mc@reddit

I wish I was in a country where "local ISPs" existed for individuals.

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maciarc@reddit

It's as if their brain shuts off when they sit in front of a computer...

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mlpedant@reddit

Bold of you to assume it's ever switched on ...

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Equivalent-Salary357@reddit

"57.6 days"

Thanks. This made my morning.

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Geminii27@reddit

"...spilling a full cup of coffee into..."

"...two thousand dollars of delicate electronics...?"

Sometimes, people have absolutely no concept of what's in a computer or laptop other than black-box magic. Including that it runs on electricity, or isn't built to handle falling down a concrete stairwell. It's just magic, and someone else's problem if it's not working.

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TinyNiceWolf@reddit

"That's a two thousand dollar laptop!"

"Not anymore."

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JoeDonFan@reddit

Sounds like a user I once had: He told me his monitor (15-inch CRT, so it had some mass) wasn't working. I trekked over with a new one and see a perfectly fine image on his current monitor when I arrive. I asked him what was wrong with his monitor and he explained his mouse cursor was stuck.

I don't exactly remember the fix but it was probably a significantly lighter mouse.

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NocentBystander@reddit

We had a logistics manager that may have been good at logistics, but computer skills were definitely lacking. Unrelated case in point, he had over 50 GB of email in his inbox - no archives, no folders, just one big pile. And he didn't see any problems with that..

I once had to explain to a member of the C-Suite that having 150 THOUSAND unread emails, stretched over his inbox and deleted folders, MIGHT be what was causing his Outlook to "be slow."

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xxvivivild@reddit

Sounds like a classic case of "tech support magic" right there. Who needs logic when you have coffee, right? Keep fighting the good fight, fellow support warrior!

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paulcaar@reddit

In his defence, it was an impossible scenario. The logical thoughts required the coffee, but the coffee was no longer available. Without the coffee it was not possible to identify the coffee as being the problem.

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FrustratedRevsFan@reddit

Admittedly, "Who needs logic when you have coffee" is pretty accurately me before the 3rd cup.

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nadacloo@reddit

FFS. Freakin' idjits

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AKBigHorton@reddit

Holy cow, exactly this story.

Years ago (early '90s), I was sole tech at a small privately owned local newspaper. Got a call one day from a particularly entitled reporter whose keyboard had 'suddenly stopped working' while he was 'on a deadline', and that I needed to get up there and fix it NOW.

This was in the days of keyboards with AT/XT switches, and on the models we used they were prominent on the back of the keyboard and were fairly easy to bump - at which point the keyboard would quit working. Now, this was too much troubleshooting for him to handle over the phone, so I went up to check it out.

Sat down at his desk while he stood over me, picked up the keyboard and flipped it over to check the switch: it promptly dumped about half a can of Mountain Dew in my lap. He just went "Uh..."

I stared at him a moment, put he keyboard back down, pointed at one of the multiple other open, unassigned identical workstations within five yards of his desk (the reporters office was a big, open bullpen kinda area) and told him I'd come back with a replacement 'eventually,' then went home to change my pants. That stupid keyboard managed to hold a *lot* of Mountain Dew. (I hadn't adopted the habit of keeping an emergency change of clothes at work yet.)

Made him wait a week.

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